# Some questions about Chewbacca
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [June 22, 2006, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792 "2006-06-22T23:48:07Z")
**Posts on this page:** 19
**Page:** 6
### Author:  [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2006, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/101 "2006-06-26T10:26:00Z")
> [@The Scrivener](#):
>
> I’ve never thought about it before, but just how do Wookies keep themselves clean, anyway, especially since they’ve got apparently such uniformly furry asses? And why am I afraid Chewie has contrived a very personal app for the Millenium Falcon’s hydrospanners for this purpose? (Of course I could be wrong about that, but it’s a safe assumption that they do keep good hygiene somehow, otherwise the Fox Studios suits would’ve ordered them covered them up with _Lederhosen_ or something.) 😃
Perhaps Wookie digestive systems don’t exit at the same location as the ones on Earth-based creatures do.
Either that, or the bandolier is actually an advanced colostomy bag.
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### Author:  [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2006, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/102 "2006-06-26T16:48:28Z")
> [@Sublight](#):
>
> Perhaps Wookie digestive systems don’t exit at the same location as the ones on Earth-based creatures do.
>
> Either that, or the bandolier is actually an advanced colostomy bag.
No, that’s not it. Wookies, being very large creatures, require a substantial caloric intake to keep themselves going, and their bodies have evolved to extract the maximum benefit from whatever they consume. In short, they waste nothing, and there is therefore no bodily waste.
No, it’s not very probable, but it does seem pretty consistent with Lucas’ “the universe is a grungy place but there’s very little sex or other icky stuff going on” vision.
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### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2006, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/103 "2006-06-26T16:57:38Z")
> [@Kizarvexius](#):
>
> No, it’s not very probable.
Theory 17:
Chewbacca doesn’t void himslef umtil Han takes him out on a leash and says,“Go potty.” The “bandoleer” (sp) is actually some sort of harness.
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### Author:  [@username\_taken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/username_taken)
#### Post date: [June 26, 2006, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/104 "2006-06-26T23:52:21Z")
I like Something Awful’s take on Chewie: that he’s an idiot savant. Makes sense, he’s really smart (seems able to fix anything) but screams whenever talked to.
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### Author:  [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)
#### Post date: [June 27, 2006, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/105 "2006-06-27T00:51:16Z")
> [@Cervaise](#):
>
> Barring any evidence to the contrary, I prefer to believe that Chewie is carrying around a metric shitload of condoms.
Unless the condoms are made from a Cortosis Weave, I seriously doubt any condom would be suitable for Chewbacca’s use! :dubious:
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### Author:  [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)
#### Post date: [June 27, 2006, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/106 "2006-06-27T02:32:41Z")
Well, maybe he’s a safe sex advocate, and hands them out in cantinas.
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### Author:  [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)
#### Post date: [July 10, 2006, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/107 "2006-07-10T18:17:55Z")
> [@Cervaise](#):
>
> Well, maybe he’s a safe sex advocate, and hands them out in cantinas.
Is that a measure? How many condoms are there in a “cantina”?
Considering the diversity of lifeforms, each holder on the bandolier must have a different type of condom.
Finally, how does a Wookie find an Ewok on Endor?
Pretty … damn … nice.
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### Author:  [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)
#### Post date: [July 10, 2006, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/108 "2006-07-10T18:38:36Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#):
>
> Luke eventually learns to understand R2’s beeps as easily as Han seems to understand Chewbacca. So why doesn’t he respond in R2’s droid language? 😉
I may be wrong here, and someone will no doubt correct me if I am, but Luke actually does not understand R2’s language. R2, like all droids, communicates in Binary (some droids like protocol droids have the ability to speak Basic and other languages, and many droids know Basic but can’t speak it, but all droids know and speak Binary).
However, the X-Wing has an onboard Binary to Basic translator. In the movies, the only time Luke actually is two-way conversing with R2 is when he’s using the translator which prints out on a viewscreen the Basic translation of R2’s beeps. R2 understands Basic fine, though, so people can speak to him without tranlation.
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### Author:  [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)
#### Post date: [July 10, 2006, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/109 "2006-07-10T19:37:11Z")
> [@Hoopy Frood](#):
>
> R2, like all droids, communicates in Binary (some droids like protocol droids have the ability to speak Basic and other languages, and many droids know Basic but can’t speak it, but all droids know and speak Binary).
>
> However, the X-Wing has an onboard Binary to Basic translator. In the movies, the only time Luke actually is two-way conversing with R2 is when he’s using the translator which prints out on a viewscreen the Basic translation of R2’s beeps. R2 understands Basic fine, though, so people can speak to him without tranlation.
Of course, this begs the question - why can’t a society able to travel faster than light, develop antigravity technology, and create lasers (for use as weapons) that actually _stop_ approximately three feet from their point of transmission, install a voice synthesizer for when droids need to communicate with humans? Creating an entire new series of 3P0 protocol droids to translate between humans and other droids is an incredibly inefficient alternative.
Sua
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### Author:  [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)
#### Post date: [July 10, 2006, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/110 "2006-07-10T19:45:53Z")
> [@SuaSponte](#):
>
> […] create lasers (for use as weapons) that actually _stop_ approximately three feet from their point of transmission
You mean Lightsabers? Those aren’t really lasers. They’re … well, look. [Read for yourself.](http://www.howstuffworks.com/lightsaber.htm)
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [July 10, 2006, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/111 "2006-07-10T19:59:19Z")
> [@SuaSponte](#):
>
> Of course, this begs the question - why can’t a society able to travel faster than light, develop antigravity technology, and create lasers (for use as weapons) that actually _stop_ approximately three feet from their point of transmission, install a voice synthesizer for when droids need to communicate with humans? Creating an entire new series of 3P0 protocol droids to translate between humans and other droids is an incredibly inefficient alternative.
>
> Sua
Protocol droids weren’t made to interface between humans and R2 droids, they’re to interface between different alien species. R2 droids, on the other hand, were never meant to interface with humans at all. Luke’s relationship with R2 is, I think, anomalous. Most people in SW interact with R2 units on about the same interpersonal level as they interact with their toaster.
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### Author:  [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)
#### Post date: [July 10, 2006, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/112 "2006-07-10T20:10:40Z")
R2 units are intended solely for use in ships as mechanics/computers. There’s no need for them to have voice modules since as part of their job they’re always going to be connected to a screen. Add in that they’re military equipment, and designed for the Rebellion which isn’t exactly the richest organisation, and that explains it.
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### Author:  [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)
#### Post date: [July 10, 2006, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/113 "2006-07-10T20:40:26Z")
> [@Revenant Threshold](#):
>
> R2 units are intended solely for use in ships as mechanics/computers. There’s no need for them to have voice modules since as part of their job they’re always going to be connected to a screen. Add in that they’re military equipment, and designed for the Rebellion which isn’t exactly the richest organisation, and that explains it.
I follow your logic on this, but then why have a sound card in your R2 units anyway? He’s clearly got a device that looks like some universal data adaptor that he can extend into a host machine, eliminating the need for sounds at all, right?
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### Author:  [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)
#### Post date: [July 10, 2006, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/114 "2006-07-10T20:45:52Z")
> [@SuaSponte](#):
>
> Of course, this begs the question - why can’t a society able to travel faster than light, develop antigravity technology, and create lasers (for use as weapons) that actually _stop_ approximately three feet from their point of transmission, install a voice synthesizer for when droids need to communicate with humans?
My idea : Because it would humanize them too much, and make it harder to treat them simply as pieces of equipment. I notice that Threepio, a droid that’s _supposed_ to communicate with organics, has all sorts of annoying mannerisms. I suspect those were put in, inefficient as that makes him for his job, in order to prevent anyone respecting him.
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### Author:  [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)
#### Post date: [July 10, 2006, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/115 "2006-07-10T20:52:58Z")
> [@Sublight](#):
>
> Perhaps Wookie digestive systems don’t exit at the same location as the ones on Earth-based creatures do.
>
> Either that, or the bandolier is actually an advanced colostomy bag.
Can you imagine the size of the furballs this creature would hack up? Maybe he was coughing up a furball and not actually talking or screaming at machines?
BTW, I have Chewbacca’s wookie card – what do you think that’s worth these days?
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### Author:  [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)
#### Post date: [July 10, 2006, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/116 "2006-07-10T21:41:02Z")
> [@Revenant Threshold](#):
>
> and designed for the Rebellion which isn’t exactly the richest organisation, and that explains it.
…Huh? Astromechs have nothing to do with the rebellion. The empire uses them and they are used in the prequels by the Republic.
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### Author:  [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2006, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/117 "2006-07-12T05:33:32Z")
> [@neofishboy](#):
>
> I’m sorry…I don’t care who you are…that is just deeply, deeply sexy.
You say that now. Wait till you’re in bed with her and she screams that wookiee sound right at climax.
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### Author:  [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2006, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/118 "2006-07-12T11:52:15Z")
> [@Der Trihs](#):
>
> My idea : Because it would humanize them too much, and make it harder to treat them simply as pieces of equipment.
This is it. Droids are basically slaves, so in all likelyhood their manufacturers deliberately avoid installing voice synthesizers in any droids that don’t need them.
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### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2006, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/119 "2006-07-12T12:45:07Z")
> [@Barking Dog](#):
>
> Wait till you’re in bed with her and she screams that wookiee sound right at climax.
I wonder about the woman who voices Bart Simpson…
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