# Some questions for any transsexual Dopers **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 7, 2003, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-for-any-transsexual-dopers/217480 "2003-12-07T02:26:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![KellyM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/57b2e6/32.png) [@KellyM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KellyM)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-for-any-transsexual-dopers/217480/21 "2003-12-07T18:21:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by agiantdwarf \* > \*\*Do you think you’d fee like your gender in any culture? \*\* I don’t think I understand your question. I wrote the following for [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&postid=4196462#post4196462); perhaps it will answer your question. > [@](#): > > \*\*I would be gender dysphoric in the absence of all culture context. I know this because of the effect that oral hormones have on my mental and emotional state. > > My emotional state changed, substantially, after I had been on oral hormones long enough for my serum estrogen level to reach the range considered “normal” for an adult female. During the ramp up, my emotional state was turbulently confused and I suffered from serious mood swings. When I miss several doses in a row or otherwise have problems that causes my intake of estrogen to drop (e.g. the time I had severe stomach flu and wasn’t able to keep down much, which interfered with absorption), my emotional state returns to that same turbulent state. I suspect that if I quit HRT entirely I’d return, over the course of a week or two, to my pre-HRT severe depression. (I have no intention of testing this theory.) My anecdotal personal experience has been confirmed by talking to other transsexuals who have experienced the same thing (some of whom have had to quit hormones, for various reasons), although the experience is by no means universal. > > My brain simply works better when washed in an appropriate level of estrogen. This has nothing to do with culture, and everything to do with neurochemistry. No, I can’t prove it (or, rather, I am unwilling to go through the pain that would be required to prove it, scientifically). But I know it to be true.\*\* ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-for-any-transsexual-dopers/217480/22 "2003-12-07T19:23:21Z")
> [@](#): > > As fpr me “knocking socks off,” that’s sweet, but I have no illusions about my appearance: I’m a rather plain (as in “ordinary,” not “ugly”), stout, middle-aged woman. Two Dopers, after meeting me, made a point of saying here on the Boardss that I was in fact quite ugly, looked like a man in a dress, and shoild have major facial plastic surgery. Yes, and I hate those so-and-so’s now more than ever. ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-for-any-transsexual-dopers/217480/23 "2003-12-07T20:29:30Z")
If it isn’t too much of a hijack, I’d like to thank **Eve** and **KellyM** for their willingness to discuss this subject, over and over again, correcting misunderstandings and misconceptions gently and courteously, dispelling ignorance and rolling their lovely eyes at stupidity. If I’ve ever met a transsexual, I don’t know about it. The vast majority of what I know about life as a transsexual, I’ve learned from the two of you, and reading your posts has made me a lot more understanding and tolerant than I might have otherwise been. ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-for-any-transsexual-dopers/217480/24 "2003-12-07T21:07:45Z")
If you’re interested in this topic, I recommend the book “Crossing” by Deirdre McCloskey. She underwent male-to-female sex reassignment surgery in the mid-1990s and wrote a book about her experiences. I think her book is controversial because her opinions about male and female gender roles are rather traditional, but she does discuss the process and her thoughts about the “transition” in some detail. Keep in mind while reading it that Ms. McCloskey’s experiences and opinions reflect only her life, and not the lives of all transsexuals, and it should still be fairly informative. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-for-any-transsexual-dopers/217480/25 "2003-12-07T23:09:53Z")
Thanks, **FisherQueen** –that is really the only reason being outted here didn’t bother me. As long as I can show people we’re not like the sideshow freaks you see on TV . . . ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-for-any-transsexual-dopers/217480/26 "2003-12-07T23:32:18Z")
> [@](#): > > Two Dopers, after meeting me, made a point of saying here on the Boardss that I was in fact quite ugly, looked like a man in a dress, and shoild have major facial plastic surgery. _snort_ Remembering the incident and the ones who said it, I wouldn’t worry about it, **Eve**. Consider the source? ---
**Author:** ![ageless6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@ageless6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ageless6)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-for-any-transsexual-dopers/217480/27 "2003-12-08T00:07:03Z")
lllrogue: (sorry if I got your handle wrong) I don’t think anyone has mentioned the All About Eve thread which I recommend you search for. It will answer a lot of your questions. It’s also humorous and will give you an idea of how virtually all of us feel about Eve. We unabashedly love her. (Even if my love is apparently to go forever unrequited). How she can do this to me is beyond my ken. If only I were the only one to know of her TSitude I could blackmail her into doing hideous perversions…but I digress. The thread is All About Eve,just like the movie. At the time,it made many of us tighten our seat belts. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-for-any-transsexual-dopers/217480/28 "2003-12-08T00:44:28Z")
Ah, but you couldn’t search for **Eve** , because it’s under four letters-the minimum for a search. And yes, we all love **Eve**. She’s a class act. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-for-any-transsexual-dopers/217480/29 "2003-12-08T00:51:25Z")
[blushes prettily] ---
**Author:** ![liirogue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dbc845/32.png) [@liirogue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liirogue)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-for-any-transsexual-dopers/217480/30 "2003-12-08T00:55:07Z")
Yes, **Eve** , you are a class act. And we can’t forget **KellyM** either! ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-for-any-transsexual-dopers/217480/31 "2003-12-08T01:02:48Z")
She’s a lady wo wo wo she’s a lady I can see how it would be difficult to tell or not tell someone. I once worked (for a short time) with a woman (we were dancers) who was born mae but had had the surgery. I think you shouldnot tell, at least you can date for a while. DoesNo one understand?! “I used to be a guy” :oh, no biggie" ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-for-any-transsexual-dopers/217480/32 "2003-12-08T01:16:36Z")
So, am I the only one here who DIDN’T know this about Eve? ---
**Author:** ![liirogue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dbc845/32.png) [@liirogue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liirogue)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-for-any-transsexual-dopers/217480/33 "2003-12-08T03:53:29Z")
I didn’t either, **Mr. Blue** Another question… Since you had your surgery so long ago, **Eve** , do you often have problems with your, ah, plumbing? ---
**Author:** ![phraser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e4f/32.png) [@phraser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phraser)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-for-any-transsexual-dopers/217480/34 "2003-12-08T04:12:42Z")
[quote] **Posted by Broomstick** I’ve always wondered how transsexuals handle the dating and mating aspect of life. I assume that they run the gamut from celibate folks all the way through the spectrum to promiscuous, so I’m not going to assume that one speaks for all. But I would be interested in individual experiences and coping strategies. How does one tip-toe throught the minefield of initimate human relations? It can be pretty unnerving even for those of us who feel our genders and bodies match from birth and have conventional sexual orientation.[\quote] Well, from the FTM side of the fence (yes we do exist) It depends on whether you’re straight, gay or pansexual. Most straight guys i know just make sure their girlfriend knows about it from the outset, knows what surgery they’ve had if any, knows what words to use to describe body parts, etc. Strap-ons are excellent, although obviously not a patch on the real thing. Some gay guys I know don’t say anything about it for one-night stands, because of the seeming fascination for biological penis that bio gay guys have. Others have no problems at all. None of my partners have had issues, although there usually has to be a discussion of boundaries, what’s good, what’s not good… this actually works well for everyone involved because you have a better idea of what you’re both going to enjoy before you get into it. Also, the issue of size is never a problem - if your partner wants a bigger/smaller one, changing over isn’t a hassle. All that said, I don’t go taking my shirt off for just anyone. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![ageless6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@ageless6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ageless6)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-for-any-transsexual-dopers/217480/35 "2003-12-08T07:37:20Z")
Guin: We meet again,and once again you correct me. I’m beginning to like it. Next time you can give me an amber shower while grinding your high heels into my groin and chanting “Who’s your mama,punk”? Maybe you and Eve could both do it at the same time. This is an easy thread to get lost in. Okay, how could the All ABOUT EVE thread be found then. I have it saved in a folder. Oh wait a minute, you could find a post by Eve and just hit search,couldn’t you? Or am I missing something there,too? ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-for-any-transsexual-dopers/217480/36 "2003-12-08T17:55:57Z")
If it’s not too personal, I’d like to know how you broke it to your families, what their reaction was, and what the relationship is like now that some time has passed. ---
**Author:** ![KellyM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/57b2e6/32.png) [@KellyM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KellyM)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-for-any-transsexual-dopers/217480/37 "2003-12-08T18:17:55Z")
**Kalhoun** : I’ve not been close to either of my parents for many years, for reasons not directly related to my transsexuality. I did finally tell my father at the beginning of this year; he has not spoken to me since and I am respecting his silence. I have not told my mother or any of my siblings (none of whom I am particularly close with), and have no contact with any of them. This occasionally pains me, but I do not currently have the emotional strength to deal with the potential negative results of attempting a contact with any of them. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-for-any-transsexual-dopers/217480/38 "2003-12-08T18:43:00Z")
“if your partner wants a bigger/smaller one, changing over isn’t a hassle.” Now they tell us. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-for-any-transsexual-dopers/217480/39 "2003-12-08T19:05:06Z")
Just for the record, I’ve met **Eve** and she is, in fact, quite adorable and thoroughly female–she could pass as Bea Lillie’s more attractive, younger sister. Those two were lying in order to indulge their penchant for cruelty. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-for-any-transsexual-dopers/217480/40 "2003-12-08T19:29:05Z")
Well, I hope “younger sister,” **Gobear** , Bea Lillie was born in 1893! The only family members who had major problems were the ones who didn’t much like me to begin with. My favorite comment was my grandfather’s: “_That’s_ what happens when you send them to college!” Oh, _that’s_ what happens . . . [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-for-any-transsexual-dopers/217480.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-for-any-transsexual-dopers/217480.md?page=3)