# Some scumfucker stole my iPod off my desk at work **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 27, 2005, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-scumfucker-stole-my-ipod-off-my-desk-at-work/328222 "2005-10-27T23:15:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-scumfucker-stole-my-ipod-off-my-desk-at-work/328222/141 "2005-11-02T09:31:25Z")
> [@Euthanasiast](#): > > Fucking Christ! > > Look, if I buy you a fucking **iPod** , will you ask that this thread be closed so that it may die the death it fucking deserves? I mean hell, extra cash is a little scarce at the _casa de Euthanasia_ right at the moment, and my current wardrobe clearly reflects that (I make Napoleon Dynamite look like fucking Remington Steele), but fuck, whatever it takes so I don’t have to come into the Pit and see this pool of congealed monkey spunk floating at the top of the forum any longer. Oh _hell_ no. You are _not_ buying **Otto** an Ipod. If you are buying anybody a damn Ipod around here, it’s gonna be me. This thread does need to die, but it’s not going to be because you are spending money on him. I will take the three minutes out of my morning to drive over your house and kick your butt if you give him an Ipod and you _know_ I’ll do it. Discussion closed. ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-scumfucker-stole-my-ipod-off-my-desk-at-work/328222/142 "2005-11-02T09:32:30Z")
drive over **to** your house… :o ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-scumfucker-stole-my-ipod-off-my-desk-at-work/328222/143 "2005-11-02T09:51:44Z")
> [@Euthanasiast](#): > > You got mail, motherfu… my friend. DAMN!! Someone just stole my iPod. Really. It was, uh, white. You know - with the wheelie? And some zombie sucker just walked right in and STOLE it off my uh, desk. Where I always keep it. My white iPod. On my desk. Oh well. I don’t want to hijack this this thread. I better go start a new one. I can’t believe some loser stole my iPod off my desk while I was, uh, walking the dog. Er. Getting the mail. It was white. ---
**Author:** ![Euthanasiast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Euthanasiast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euthanasiast)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-scumfucker-stole-my-ipod-off-my-desk-at-work/328222/144 "2005-11-02T09:58:16Z")
> [@Jaade](#): > > Oh _hell_ no. You are _not_ buying **Otto** an Ipod. If you are buying anybody a damn Ipod around here, it’s gonna be me. This thread does need to die, but it’s not going to be because you are spending money on him. I will take the three minutes out of my morning to drive over your house and kick your butt if you give him an Ipod and you _know_ I’ll do it. Discussion closed. :smack: Fuck it… It was a dumb idea anyway. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-scumfucker-stole-my-ipod-off-my-desk-at-work/328222/145 "2005-11-02T10:13:33Z")
I’d really like an IPod too, so if anyone wants to direct one _my_ way, I promise not to leave it on my workdesk…and I’ll feed it and have it neutered, and I’ll take it out for walkies and even de-worm it every three months. 😃 This is a really dumb thread. Fun reading all the same though. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-scumfucker-stole-my-ipod-off-my-desk-at-work/328222/146 "2005-11-02T21:20:06Z")
At the risk of pissing everyone off even more (yeah like I care) I found out today that there have been a rash of iPod thefts at my place of employment. Including a couple that were stolen out of people’s closed backpacks and at least one that was stolen out of a locked desk. Mine was the first to be stolen. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-scumfucker-stole-my-ipod-off-my-desk-at-work/328222/147 "2005-11-02T21:28:05Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > At the risk of pissing everyone off even more (yeah like I care) I found out today that there have been a rash of iPod thefts at my place of employment. Including a couple that were stolen out of people’s closed backpacks and at least one that was stolen out of a locked desk. Mine was the first to be stolen. Look on the bright side, you can get a video Ipod now. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-scumfucker-stole-my-ipod-off-my-desk-at-work/328222/148 "2005-11-02T22:28:15Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > Had a stupid worthless meeting this afternoon, the only time I was away from my desk without having the iPod with me. I get back from the meeting and it’s gone. Reported it to the useless security guard, who will do nothing. Oh, wait, he’ll report it to the on-site manager, and _she_ will do nothing. I’m working through a temp agency so I called them to report it so they too can do nothing. > > To the thief: Fuck you. I hope you’re wearing my iPod when you step off a curb and get hit by the bus you can’t hear because you’re listening to my stolen iPod, breaking all of your limbs and your spine, so that you live out the remainder of your days in excruciating pain. You better hope I don’t find out who the fuck you are. I’m not going to bother to read all the responses, because I’m sure they’re mostly sympathic to your plight, as I am. I will just say, raw fucking deal. I’ve never been able to get it into my brain that people I work with would actually steal from me, but my co-workers used to frequently tell me to lock my stuff up because the bad guys are out there. The fuck. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-scumfucker-stole-my-ipod-off-my-desk-at-work/328222/149 "2005-11-02T23:13:21Z")
> [@Jaade](#): > > drive over **to** your house… :o No, no, no! “Drive over your house” is much better – I can picture you hijacking the nearest Abrams tank and… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2005, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-scumfucker-stole-my-ipod-off-my-desk-at-work/328222/150 "2005-11-03T00:53:10Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > At the risk of pissing everyone off even more (yeah like I care) I found out today that there have been a rash of iPod thefts at my place of employment. Including a couple that were stolen out of people’s closed backpacks and at least one that was stolen out of a locked desk. Mine was the first to be stolen. You miserable little prick. Look what you started. If you hadn’t been so careless, not only would you still have your ipod, this guy wouldn’t have gotten a taste for stealing ipods. You started a chaing-fucking reaction. I hope you’re fucking happy, because it’s all your fault and you owe all these other people brand new ipods. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2005, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-scumfucker-stole-my-ipod-off-my-desk-at-work/328222/151 "2005-11-03T00:58:01Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > You miserable little prick. Look what you started. If you hadn’t been so careless, not only would you still have your ipod, this guy wouldn’t have gotten a taste for stealing ipods. > > You started a chaing-fucking reaction. I hope you’re fucking happy, because it’s all your fault and you owe all these other people brand new ipods. I’ve got to be getting swooshed here. ---
**Author:** ![Doc\_Sarvis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Doc\_Sarvis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doc_Sarvis)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2005, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-scumfucker-stole-my-ipod-off-my-desk-at-work/328222/152 "2005-11-03T01:30:24Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > Thanks for making my being robbed my fault, though. > Not only do you insist on being a dick to a crime victim But you weren’t robbed you had something stolen from you. Being forced to give up Ipod in a direct confrontation=robbed. Having desk broken into for Ipod=robbed Leaving Ipod unattended on desk=stolen You left your toy out in the open and unguarded and your crying now that it’s stolen. Yes it sucks that it was stolen but besides being out the money for it, is your life really that much worse off? Stop trying to get sympathy because you had a minor incident in your life. And the crime victim thing which is your quote by the way I call bullshit. You had a toy stolen. There are people who are victims of real crime that bitch less than you. I’ve come home and found a burglar still in the house. That’s real crime. I’ve had my bicycle stolen(also my primary mode of transportation) That’s real crime. I’ve been beat down and had my life threatened before. That’s real crime. Yeah petty theives suck but you should really put things in perspective before you start whining about it. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gozu/32/6615_2.png) [@Gozu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2005, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-scumfucker-stole-my-ipod-off-my-desk-at-work/328222/153 "2005-11-03T01:47:54Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > You miserable little prick. Look what you started. If you hadn’t been so careless, not only would you still have your ipod, this guy wouldn’t have gotten a taste for stealing ipods. > > You started a chaing-fucking reaction. I hope you’re fucking happy, because it’s all your fault and you owe all these other people brand new ipods. Surely you jest? ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2005, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-scumfucker-stole-my-ipod-off-my-desk-at-work/328222/154 "2005-11-03T02:09:34Z")
All this bickering back and forth about who’s to blame misses the real point here: Is it really possible to fuck scum? And if so, who would do it? ---
**Author:** ![Epimetheus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c4cdca/32.png) [@Epimetheus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epimetheus)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2005, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-scumfucker-stole-my-ipod-off-my-desk-at-work/328222/155 "2005-11-03T02:32:37Z")
> [@fetus](#): > > All this bickering back and forth about who’s to blame misses the real point here: > > Is it really possible to fuck scum? And if so, who would do it? A scumfuck would fuck as much scum as a scumfuck could fuck, if a scumfuck could fuck scum. Duh! ---
**Author:** ![Gozu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gozu/32/6615_2.png) [@Gozu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2005, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-scumfucker-stole-my-ipod-off-my-desk-at-work/328222/156 "2005-11-03T02:38:48Z")
> [@fetus](#): > > All this bickering back and forth about who’s to blame misses the real point here: > > Is it really possible to fuck scum? And if so, who would do it? If there is one thing I learned from this life, it’s that you can fuck \*anything[i/], scum included. ---
**Author:** ![Euthanasiast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Euthanasiast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euthanasiast)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2005, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-scumfucker-stole-my-ipod-off-my-desk-at-work/328222/157 "2005-11-03T02:43:23Z")
And odds are that enough time has passed that the guy who stole his iPod has probably jerked off at least once. Your iPod’s probably got scum cum all over it. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2005, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-scumfucker-stole-my-ipod-off-my-desk-at-work/328222/158 "2005-11-03T02:48:03Z")
> [@Gozu](#): > > If there is one thing I learned from this life, it’s that you can fuck \*anything[i/], scum included. And coding, too. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2005, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-scumfucker-stole-my-ipod-off-my-desk-at-work/328222/159 "2005-11-03T04:31:41Z")
Seemingly, with all this talk of fucking scum, my ability to kindle a fire in the loins of any person even works on the internet. 'Tis a gift and a burden both. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-scumfucker-stole-my-ipod-off-my-desk-at-work/328222.md?page=7)