# Some tips for those who are about to go on an airplane flight for the first time ever **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 16, 2013, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-tips-for-those-who-are-about-to-go-on-an-airplane-flight-for-the-first-time-ever/676462 "2013-12-16T14:09:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DragonAsh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DragonAsh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DragonAsh)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2013, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-tips-for-those-who-are-about-to-go-on-an-airplane-flight-for-the-first-time-ever/676462/41 "2013-12-16T23:57:50Z")
> [@bump](#): > > The trick is to put your carryon luggage somewhere ahead of where you’re planning to sit. That way, when it’s time to get off the plane, you don’t have to contend with the people near you- you just hop up, go up to where your bags are (probably mostly empty unless you’re sitting at the front), grab them and go. There are lots and lots of ways people can be complete and utter assholes on an airplane. This is very very close to the top of the list. Sure - it’s great for you - you throw your junk into a still-empty overhead bin as you waltz on towards the back of the plane. Then when people near the front of the plane get on, guess what? Yep - their overhead bin is full because dick-heads like you decided that a 15-second unencumbered ambulatory experience to the back of the plane was more important than the havoc caused by several rows of passengers now all stuck with no place to stick their luggage except at the back of the plane where Mr. Dick-head is sitting. But guess what - some flight attendants on some airlines - and I’m not naming names, except that the airlines name might start with the letter A, C, D, N, or U - will nail your balls to the wall for this. Let’s suppose our friendly neighborhood douche-bag, Mr. Bump, decides to throw his bag into the overhead over seat 14C, then mosey his way on to his seat in 45A. Flight Attendant Joe Blow observes this act of douchery. He waits for Douche-bag Bump to depart the area, then waits for the occupants of seat 14C to arrive. As they start trying to put their luggage into the now partially full overhead, he ask -quietly- if anyone would be so kind as to claim the object currently residing in the overhead. Nobody of course claims said object. Guess what - an object on board that nobody is claiming? If you’re lucky, the FA decides it’s a possible bomb risk and has the luggage completely removed from the plane. Always fun to see the face of Mr. Big Important Businessman when he arrives in LA when he learns his luggage is still back at JFK. If you’re not so lucky, the FA says a quiet little word and has the luggage gate-checked…on the flight one gate over going to Bora Bora. ---
**Author:** ![galen\_ubal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/galen_ubal/32/4440_2.png) [@galen\_ubal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galen_ubal)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-tips-for-those-who-are-about-to-go-on-an-airplane-flight-for-the-first-time-ever/676462/42 "2013-12-17T00:04:13Z")
Something people’s moms/dads should have taught them: perfume and cologne should only be detectable within kissing range; any more, and you’ve used to much. Do _not_ attempt to cover travel funk with it. Do _not_ douse yourself in your favourite scent. It’s unpleasant at best to those around you, and there are those of us (myself, for one) who are sensitive to such things. Second worst flight of my life - someone nearby had bathed in perfume. Everything from the neck up swelled up, filled up, and I could barely breathe. I carefully _didn’t_ try to work out who it was; I probably would’ve gotten myself in trouble. ---
**Author:** ![Randy\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ee7513/32.png) [@Randy\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Randy_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-tips-for-those-who-are-about-to-go-on-an-airplane-flight-for-the-first-time-ever/676462/43 "2013-12-17T00:07:37Z")
Coats. They fit in the overhead compartment by filling in the space around the bags. They do not fit in the overhead compartment by gently laying them across the bottom of the compartment and closing it. Wait until the bags are in there before putting your coat in there. If you fail to do this, you force people into the awkward “Um, whose coat is this? Yours sir? No? Um, ma’am, is it yours? This coat here. It is? Yeah, do you mind if I move it? That’s ok? Here, I’ll just put it over here, is that ok? Sorry.” Or worse, when all the overhead space is full and there are three or four people trying to fit their bags in, the flight attendants have to go searching for space and it costs valuable time while they pop the compartments one by one, looking for coats that are taking up too much room. Neat trick a flight attendant told me years ago: just hold your coat in your lap until everyone’s seated. When the flight attendants come down closing all the compartment doors, just say, “excuse me sir, would you mind putting this up for me?” and hand them the freaking coat. They’re experts at finding a tidy crevice for it among the bags. > [@stpauler](#): > > 1. Stand on the right walk on the left. Especially on the moving walkways ferchristsake. If I’m going to use the moving walkway, it’s because I want to move faster than my normal walking pace. It makes me irrationally angry when people step onto the moving walkway, position themselves two abreast, and then just stand there gawping at the terminal slowly passing them by. As I walk up behind them, I have have a choice: either stop walking and stand irritably behind them for the last ten seconds, or politely say “excuse me” and wait ten seconds for them to slowly turn and gape at me, realize they’re in the way, collect their bags/kids/wits off to the right side of the walkway, and let me pass. At which point we’re at the end of the walkway anyway, so my time is wasted in either case. Yes, these people are costing me only ten seconds each time they act like idiots, but it’s an airport for crying out loud – ten seconds can mean the me missing my flight, missing the cutoff for the standby list, or making my ride circle around the terminal an extra time. ---
**Author:** ![LibrarySpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@LibrarySpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LibrarySpy)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-tips-for-those-who-are-about-to-go-on-an-airplane-flight-for-the-first-time-ever/676462/44 "2013-12-17T00:34:46Z")
Don’t take luggage for the overhead bin. Just don’t. You can fit all your electronics, reading materials, cosmetics, cheerios for your infant, and two changes of clothing into a bag that fits under your seat. Check the rest. This will solve 99% of all flying stresses and you will experience joy and peace of mind. Order a Jack and Coke, kick back, and enjoy your little word game while everyone else scrambles and shoves and drops suitcases on heads. > [@chizzuk](#): > > This one will probably start an argument over who has “rights” over the window shade and if the window seat person should get to do whatever they want by sitting there, but you know what? Yes, you can see outside the plane if you raise the shade. You will see the same wing, the same clouds, the same sun, and the same indistinguishable brown/green blur on the ground that’s been there for the last 2 hours. Meanwhile, the sudden blast of direct sunlight from your little sightseeing adventure is blinding the entire row like an icepick to the eyeballs, making it difficult to sleep, read, or see anything on the iPad screen. At least be aware of this. If it makes you feel any better, I think this is becoming the standard. The last couple of flights I took, all the shades were down and the attendants strongly discouraged anyone from lifting them up. Even for a peek. ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-tips-for-those-who-are-about-to-go-on-an-airplane-flight-for-the-first-time-ever/676462/45 "2013-12-17T00:44:52Z")
Do not mutter under your breath every.single.move you make when playing bejeweled for two hours. Especially when you sound like Gollum. Ssssideways diamondssss Sssswitch to the left emeraldssssss Sssswoop ssssaphiresss Homicide was justified last Friday, oh yes it was. \ ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-tips-for-those-who-are-about-to-go-on-an-airplane-flight-for-the-first-time-ever/676462/46 "2013-12-17T01:10:05Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > Pro tip: if you have a carry on put your watch, wallet, coins and all other metal in it while in line. > If you forget to do this or it isn’t convenient put all of those items in your shoes. You won’t leave anything behind that way. Makes it easier to collect also. Last time I flew, I passed the time standing in the security line by putting my wallet, cellphone, keys, etc. in a plastic Ziploc bag, then removing my coat, belt and shoes. When I got up to the scanner, those all went into a tray, and I walked through the Mapplethorperizer carrying only my boarding pass and photo I.D. Made everything oh so much less stressful. > [@chizzuk](#): > > 1. This one will probably start an argument over who has “rights” over the window shade and if the window seat person should get to do whatever they want by sitting there, but you know what? Yes, you can see outside the plane if you raise the shade. You will see the same wing, the same clouds, the same sun, and the same indistinguishable brown/green blur on the ground that’s been there for the last 2 hours. Meanwhile, the sudden blast of direct sunlight from your little sightseeing adventure is blinding the entire row like an icepick to the eyeballs, making it difficult to sleep, read, or see anything on the iPad screen. At least be aware of this. > > Edit: Maybe I’m just oversensitive on #3, I don’t know. I hate bright light in an otherwise darkened plane cabin. It hurts. I fully realize that this can be a dick move, and try not to inconvenience my fellow rowmates. But I do like looking at the ground and trying to identify what I see (I never realized just how big the Grand Canyon was until I flew over it, and a fireworks show looks really cool seen from above.) Saw some really cool cloud formations last time I flew, as well - tall, thin towers. Updrafts, I assume. Still, I do try to be considerate of those around me. “Don’t be a jerk” - it’s not just a motto, it’s a way of life. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-tips-for-those-who-are-about-to-go-on-an-airplane-flight-for-the-first-time-ever/676462/47 "2013-12-17T01:20:37Z")
> [@stpauler](#): > > B) Don’t grab onto the back of the seats in front of you for support. While I can understand why this would be irritating to the people in those seats, if I don’t grab them I’m going to fall on the folks I’m climbing over to go potty. Especially if the backs of those seats are reclined. > [@](#): > > 1. Now is the time to text those needed to let them know you’ve landed. A phone call? No. We all don’t want to hear it. We’re busy listening to the crying baby. Some of us don’t have texting, but I promise that my phone call is short. > [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](#): > > Does head congestion include a runny/stuffy nose? Because I have one of those right now, and I’m flying 10 hours to Philly on Wednesday. This thread may prove very helpful. 😃 YES! You really want to get something for this - I’ve been on flights where I had such minor congestion that I didn’t even know it, and it felt like someone was trying to force my teeth and eyes out from the inside, especially when landing. I just routinely take a Benadryl now. > [@black\_rabbit](#): > > If you have a direct flight and you don’t have any pressing engagements immediately after you land, it’s probably OK to go ahead and check that rollaboard. You save yourself the pain in the ass of having to haul it around, you save everybody else a little bit of space in the bins, and the baggage handlers are very, very unlikely to lose it. I have things that I cannot replace at the other end, not like clothes, toiletries, etc. So I always take a carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-tips-for-those-who-are-about-to-go-on-an-airplane-flight-for-the-first-time-ever/676462/48 "2013-12-17T01:24:03Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > Pro tip: if you have a carry on put your watch, wallet, coins and all other metal in it while in line. > [@Icarus](#): > > +infinity - infinity + 1 I have a side pocket of my bag specifically reserved for this…wallet, cell phone, coins, whatever. Makes things sooooo much easier. My contribution has to do with those people having great success with Weight Watchers: congratulations on the weight loss! Just be aware that at some point you may be asked to take off your belt and put your arms above your head. I saw something amusing once! ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-tips-for-those-who-are-about-to-go-on-an-airplane-flight-for-the-first-time-ever/676462/49 "2013-12-17T03:39:54Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > I don’t take the plane often, and this thread is actually a pretty useful collection of the do’s and don’ts of air travel. Thanks to all who have contributed so far. I don’t take the plane often… and now I know why. I’ve driven to conferences and gotten there before my coworkers (who had someone run them to the airport, waited, went through security, waited more… all while I was singing along with the radio and swigging a mocha latte). Last summer’s seminar, the boss beat me by an hour because I took the train, but she had to immediately take a nap “to recover”. I was already energized, and in a damn good mood. But I do appreciate the thread – I’m visiting my kid in SF over the holidays (no time for car/train), so I have to fly… ::sigh:: ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-tips-for-those-who-are-about-to-go-on-an-airplane-flight-for-the-first-time-ever/676462/50 "2013-12-17T04:19:00Z")
Yeah, I have never quite understood all the hate for someone pulling on the seat a little, to get up, or steady themselves. Seems such a minor thing. And I mean if it was a real heavy weight, well better than falling into someone else, I’d guess. It lasts what, a second, two? Or it pulls a hair for a millisecond? But doesn’t that happen in bed with your lover from time to time? Does that put your pout on too, I wonder? Takes all kinds, but it seems petty to me. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-tips-for-those-who-are-about-to-go-on-an-airplane-flight-for-the-first-time-ever/676462/51 "2013-12-17T04:53:36Z")
> [@Rysler](#): > > Don’t take luggage for the overhead bin. Just don’t. You can fit all your electronics, reading materials, cosmetics, cheerios for your infant, and two changes of clothing into a bag that fits under your seat. Check the rest. Yep. I understand wanting to get out of the airport quickly, but i always check my bag, and i’ve hardly ever been delayed by more than 15 or 20 minutes collecting it from the carousel. I’m rarely in such a hurry that this is an inconvenience. On the plane, i take a laptop bag with my 10" netbook or 7" tablet, earphones, snacks, and maybe a hard-copy book or magazine or newspaper. I also throw a pair of underwear, socks, and a fresh shirt in there just in case my bag gets lost or delayed, which hasn’t happened in the last five or six years. When we board, i walk to my seat, push the bag underneath, and i’m ready to go. Another thing i like about checking my bag is that i don’t have to lug a larger bag around in the airport itself, while waiting for the flight to board. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-tips-for-those-who-are-about-to-go-on-an-airplane-flight-for-the-first-time-ever/676462/52 "2013-12-17T04:56:08Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Kids often have problems with ear pain due to pressure changes. Nursing can help infants relieve this. Older kids might find gum or some sort of candy they can suck on to be helpful (so can adults). “Doing like a fish” (opening and closing your mouth with exaggerated motions) is also helpful for people of any age and kids find it fun. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-tips-for-those-who-are-about-to-go-on-an-airplane-flight-for-the-first-time-ever/676462/53 "2013-12-17T04:57:35Z")
Learn to spot the signs that the person next to you doesn’t want to chat. Earbuds? That person doesn’t want to talk. Reading a book, or magazine? That person doesn’t want to talk. Frozen smile and one word answers? That person doesn’t want to talk. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-tips-for-those-who-are-about-to-go-on-an-airplane-flight-for-the-first-time-ever/676462/54 "2013-12-17T05:39:10Z")
If you are going to carry on luggage, after you pack, make damn sure you can lift the bag over your head and hold it there for a bit. If you can’t do that because you have packed lead bars, check the bag. The other travelers on your flight don’t want to store it for you, or have you drop the damn thing on our heads. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-tips-for-those-who-are-about-to-go-on-an-airplane-flight-for-the-first-time-ever/676462/55 "2013-12-17T05:54:17Z")
Amen, if you can’t carry and maneuver your bags on your own, then check them. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-tips-for-those-who-are-about-to-go-on-an-airplane-flight-for-the-first-time-ever/676462/56 "2013-12-17T06:19:46Z")
When you are walking up to the monitors to check your connection status, do not whip out your phone and begin a conversation 6" away from the ear of the person standing in front of you, and do not get all upset if that person turns around in your face and says “Get away from me with that fucking phone!” ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-tips-for-those-who-are-about-to-go-on-an-airplane-flight-for-the-first-time-ever/676462/57 "2013-12-17T06:36:24Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > This whole sugar and hyperactivity thing is a myth, you know. Actual medically diagnosable Hyperactivity? Yes, we all know that. But that kids get amped up, silly, over energized, LOUD and screechy etc.? Sorry all true, as any parent at Halloween and Easter can attest to…hell **I Still** get over energized on pop and candy, and I’m 54.\*\* > [@](#): > > B) Don’t grab onto the back of the seats in front of you for support. X1000\*\* I swear by all that is holy, the next person that does this, thereby yanking my hair, I’m gonna Uzi! I know, no guns on planes, I will HUNT You down. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-tips-for-those-who-are-about-to-go-on-an-airplane-flight-for-the-first-time-ever/676462/58 "2013-12-17T08:24:18Z")
My only complaint here is that these suggestions are way too on the mark for the Pit. Especially the put your wallet in your carry on. Vegas plays a video with advice as you stand in the security line which is where I heard it first - and immediately did it, and have been doing it ever since. Now mine. I realize that we no longer wear suits when flying, but guys, I don’t want to see your hairy armpits in that tanktop or your hairy legs in shorts. Ditto for women, especially ones with hairy armpits. I’ll dissent on putting your seat back. I am fairly tall, and have little enough room as it is. A seat slightly back is fine, but all the way back is not fine. And I’m not going to pass the pain back by being an asshole to the person behind me. I hope you don’t mind me hitting the seatback with my knees as I try to get the slightest bit comfortable, and I also hope you don’t mind me coughing in your ears. Which are basically in my lap at this point. Actually, considering how most airlines hate any passenger not in first class, people are pretty good. ---
**Author:** ![DragonAsh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DragonAsh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DragonAsh)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-tips-for-those-who-are-about-to-go-on-an-airplane-flight-for-the-first-time-ever/676462/59 "2013-12-17T08:49:14Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > Actual medically diagnosable Hyperactivity? Yes, we all know that. But that kids get amped up, silly, over energized, LOUD and screechy etc.? Sorry all true, as any parent at Halloween and Easter can attest to…hell They’re amped up because it’s Halloween or Easter and the _parents_ are getting the kids amped up, as any parent with even half a brain would understand. If the parent is calm, the kid is calm, and will -stay- calm, happy as a little clam, while enjoying his little piece of candy or what not. Obviously you don’t want to be giving your kid nothing but sugar candy for an entire flight, so grapes or cheerios are good, easy-to-pack alternatives especially for smaller kids. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-tips-for-those-who-are-about-to-go-on-an-airplane-flight-for-the-first-time-ever/676462/60 "2013-12-17T08:56:33Z")
On the subject of putting the seat back: you should not recline during meal and drink service. You should also not recline until all the trash and trays are collected. Leaning back a little is ok, but leaning back all the way when there is a person sitting behind you is a straight up douche move. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-tips-for-those-who-are-about-to-go-on-an-airplane-flight-for-the-first-time-ever/676462.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-tips-for-those-who-are-about-to-go-on-an-airplane-flight-for-the-first-time-ever/676462.md?page=4)