# Some vampire's breaking into your house with intent to do and your family harm **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 16, 2015, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-vampires-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-and-your-family-harm/715093 "2015-03-16T03:38:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2015, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-vampires-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-and-your-family-harm/715093/61 "2015-03-16T21:44:31Z")
> [@AncientHumanoid](#): > > No sex? > > Is that canon across the genre or just in certain stories? Well, from \*our/my \*folktales. Not this modern fiction stuff with sparkly vampires and such. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2015, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-vampires-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-and-your-family-harm/715093/62 "2015-03-16T22:09:09Z")
I don’t believe I even mentioned the abomination that is the sparklepire, I’m talking the classic Hollywood (Stokerian) interpretation, perhaps the “Revenant/Modern Vampires” version Or in the White Wolf LARP-verse I’d see myself as Gangrel/Brujah, but no prissy Toreador or crazy Malkavian… ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2015, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-vampires-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-and-your-family-harm/715093/63 "2015-03-16T22:26:23Z")
Well, if dusting myself in glitter and trying to pass myself off as a modern metro-hematophage wont work… Wooden stake to pin it in place and then lop the head off with a khukri. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2015, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-vampires-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-and-your-family-harm/715093/64 "2015-03-16T22:31:36Z")
> [@MacTech](#): > > Hmm, get to sleep all day, party all night, never grow old or die? And the downside is being limited to a high protien liquid diet? > > Are they hiring, perchance? Actually a lot of the traditional folklore vampires are ravenous sexual monsters. Some female types even have fangs in their vaginas. Sorry that was meant as a reply to Post #60 ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2015, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-vampires-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-and-your-family-harm/715093/65 "2015-03-16T22:58:04Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Actually a lot of the traditional folklore vampires are ravenous sexual monsters. Well, I suppose in a way with our/my folklore, since the act of drinking the blood is often called out as organismic. But few of us would think of that as “sex”. ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2015, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-vampires-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-and-your-family-harm/715093/66 "2015-03-17T01:46:49Z")
Stooges-style poke in the eyes, then switch between saying “Abracadabra”, “Hocus Pocus”, “Pocuscadabra”, and Abracapocus" until he runs out of the house screaming. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2015, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-vampires-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-and-your-family-harm/715093/67 "2015-03-17T02:18:52Z")
“Newport News.” ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2015, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-vampires-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-and-your-family-harm/715093/68 "2015-03-17T06:44:37Z")
Lots of garlic, crosses, crucifixes and rosaries. Being Catholic=payoff! ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2015, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-vampires-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-and-your-family-harm/715093/69 "2015-03-17T13:50:45Z")
I move that we adopt a Whedonverse vampire ruleset. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2015, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-vampires-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-and-your-family-harm/715093/70 "2015-03-17T13:59:25Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > I move that we adopt a Whedonverse vampire ruleset. I vote for Brahm Stoker. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2015, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-vampires-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-and-your-family-harm/715093/71 "2015-03-17T14:05:21Z")
I’ve got a bunch of garlic on top of the refrigerator, a Bible in the closet, and a shillelagh by the front door. Plus, if I need to decapitate it once it’s down, a sword in another closet. I should probably be OK. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2015, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-vampires-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-and-your-family-harm/715093/72 "2015-03-17T14:25:25Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > I vote for Brahm Stoker. 🙂 Can you put vampires to sleep with Brahm’s Lullaby? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2015, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-vampires-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-and-your-family-harm/715093/73 "2015-03-17T15:05:22Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Can you put vampires to sleep with Brahm’s Lullaby? I doubt it, they sleep all day long. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2015, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-vampires-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-and-your-family-harm/715093/74 "2015-03-17T16:05:45Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Faith is important, but to some extent it’s also the faith of the Vampire, and the imbued holiness of the item… See Stephen King’s excellent _'Salem’s Lot_ for an interesting discussion of this. Poor Father Callahan… ---
**Author:** ![stillownedbysetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2015, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-vampires-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-and-your-family-harm/715093/75 "2015-03-17T22:02:02Z")
Have any of you seen me when I’m awakened at 3 am??? No? Well trust me, that’s enough to scare ANY vampire. However, if it’s a blind vampire, I have a basket of fresh garlic on the kitchen counter, minced garlic in the fridge, garlic powder in the Costco size in the cupboard and a sizeable cross I purchase and had blessed when I visited Medjugorge. He couldn’t see that, being blind and all, but I could bop him in the head with it or something. I’m a reasonably devout Catholic. I attend mass about once a month. God might decide I’m worth a save. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2015, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-vampires-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-and-your-family-harm/715093/76 "2015-03-17T22:26:48Z")
Well I have a Katana handy. Unfortunately, I know it’s not silvered, and the blacksmith at the Ren faire never mentioned anything about it being magic. And sadly my class feats all revolve around computer programming, and aren’t likely to help very much. So I’d basically need to crit to overcome his damage reduction enough to even scratch him. ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2015, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-vampires-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-and-your-family-harm/715093/77 "2015-03-17T22:32:13Z")
I got ordained several years ago (Universal Life Church represent!), so I’ll be packin’ holy water in my supersoaker. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-vampires-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-and-your-family-harm/715093.md?page=3)