# Somebody missing a few marbles **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 11, 2021, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-missing-a-few-marbles/930222 "2021-01-11T03:30:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2021, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-missing-a-few-marbles/930222/1 "2021-01-11T03:30:18Z")
Mr VOW and I were bantering about a certain famous jerk who has exhibited for the hundred-thousandth time he is lacking in his mental operations. We came up with a few standards: He doesn’t have all the raisins in his toast. His porch light is flickering. (Mr VOW corrected this to “His porch light is burned out!” He’s a few tacos short of a combo plate. C’mon, let’s poke some fun. If I have to see the Capitol invasion tape again, I might throw up. ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2021, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-missing-a-few-marbles/930222/2 "2021-01-11T03:36:43Z")
The lights are on, but nobody’s home. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2021, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-missing-a-few-marbles/930222/3 "2021-01-11T03:43:00Z")
Some standards: A few inches short of a foot Not firing on all cylinders His/her elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top A few knives short of a drawer [or something like that] * * * I always want to make up good variations, but can’t think of any good ones I’ve personally invented. If I can think of any, you know I’ll share. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2021, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-missing-a-few-marbles/930222/4 "2021-01-11T03:46:18Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > A few knives short of a drawer [or something like that] - Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. A toy short of a Happy Meal. His computer is lacking a CPU. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2021, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-missing-a-few-marbles/930222/5 "2021-01-11T03:50:31Z")
gone off-trail again dumber than a bag of hammers ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2021, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-missing-a-few-marbles/930222/6 "2021-01-11T04:09:03Z")
Not the brightest bulb on the marquee. A few cards short of a deck. They’re the kind of person who, if you blew in their ear, would say, “Thanks for the fill-up.” ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2021, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-missing-a-few-marbles/930222/7 "2021-01-11T04:15:58Z")
Cobwebs on the windmill of his mind. ---
**Author:** ![J-P\_L](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/j-p_l/32/3156_2.png) [@J-P\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/J-P_L)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2021, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-missing-a-few-marbles/930222/8 "2021-01-11T04:34:48Z")
He’s got a few loose screws, or maybe a lot and some are even missing. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2021, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-missing-a-few-marbles/930222/9 "2021-01-11T04:41:17Z")
He went out to lunch and stayed for happy hour. He’s about as sharp as a bowling ball. He has a room temperature IQ. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2021, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-missing-a-few-marbles/930222/10 "2021-01-11T05:03:13Z")
His bus has jumped the track. He marches to a different kazoo. She keeps losing her left socks. She can count her brains cells on the fingers of her left foot. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2021, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-missing-a-few-marbles/930222/11 "2021-01-11T05:22:02Z")
A few fries short of a Happy Meal (the variant I heard) Couldn’t find his way out of a paper bag with a map and a flashlight. > [@cochrane](#): > > He has a room temperature IQ. This is a lot more insulting in places that use the Celsius scale. 😀 ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2021, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-missing-a-few-marbles/930222/12 "2021-01-11T05:46:58Z")
Couldn’t pour the water out of his boots if the instructions were printed on the heel – from the military? Here’s a whole website full of these: [Cheap Thoughts](https://www.angelo.edu/faculty/kboudrea/cheap/cheap3_insults.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2021, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-missing-a-few-marbles/930222/13 "2021-01-11T05:49:19Z")
As sharp as a bag of wet mice. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2021, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-missing-a-few-marbles/930222/14 "2021-01-11T05:55:47Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > dumber than a bag of hammers Related: - Dumb as a post - Dumb as a box of rocks ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2021, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-missing-a-few-marbles/930222/15 "2021-01-11T06:15:25Z")
Dang, **Sunspace**! You beat me to it. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2021, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-missing-a-few-marbles/930222/16 "2021-01-11T12:08:39Z")
Low as dirt and half as smart. ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2021, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-missing-a-few-marbles/930222/17 "2021-01-11T12:21:21Z")
Numb as a pounded thumb and, my favorite from a former boss who was famous for screwing up sayings and misusing words in general: A few bricks short of a picnic 😂 ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2021, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-missing-a-few-marbles/930222/18 "2021-01-11T13:18:41Z")
Another child left behind. (Too many people don’t get this one, but I think it’s hilarious.) ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2021, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-missing-a-few-marbles/930222/19 "2021-01-11T15:17:41Z")
A few bricks shy of a full hod. … bag full of doorknobs. Couldn’t find his rear end with a six-man search team. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2021, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-missing-a-few-marbles/930222/20 "2021-01-11T18:31:57Z")
Dumber than a ditch carp. Suffering from microdeckia [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-missing-a-few-marbles/930222.md?page=2)