# Somebody PLEASE get Ann Coulter a shiny new dildo. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 8, 2002, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992 "2002-06-08T18:48:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992/1 "2002-06-08T18:48:31Z")
Cuz Lord knows she has some [phallic](http://www.jewishworldreview.com/cols/coulter1.asp) issues. > [@](#): > > \*\* > A little grassy park where people go to weep does lack something in the way of defiance. Instead of us crying, evidently many Americans feel there should be a lot of Arabs crying. > \*\* uh huh > [@](#): > > \*\* > The reason liberals prefer a park to luminous skyscrapers is that they are not angry. Liberals express sympathy for the victims, but they’re not angry at the terrorists. > \*\* Oh do tell sista. > [@](#): > > \*\* > Aesthetes complain that the buildings were ugly. Perhaps. But the important thing is, they were really big. There can be a new design, but whatever goes up on that site has got to be bigger and better than the buildings the savages destroyed. > \*\* Oh Ann…be my size queen bitch…please? > [@](#): > > \*\* > Erecting enormous buildings to replace the Twin Towers limns the distinction between us and the barbarians. We can ride elevators a quarter-mile into the sky and have dinner. What can they do? > \*\* Heh heh heh…she said **erecting** AND **enormous** heh heh heh I’ll leave the Muslim bashing and incoherent masturbatory jingoism to someone else. I volunteer to set up a PayPal account to keep Ann in dildos. Who’s with me? ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992/2 "2002-06-08T18:58:22Z")
Me! I got $50 right here…that’s about half the price of the one she needs… ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992/3 "2002-06-08T19:08:43Z")
No, damnit! I’m not giving her a new one until she uses the one I already gave her! ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992/4 "2002-06-08T19:10:25Z")
Yes, let’s harken back to the days of yesteryear, when any woman with a strong opinion was “hysterical” and in need of therapeutic uterus manipulation to calm her down. That’s just what you’re suggesting, just in different terms. Everything would be fine if Ann just got a little more dick. Let’s get a fake one, that’ll do. Why can’t you disagree with her on the merits of her argument or lack thereof, instead of diminishing her in the same old tired, cliched, sexist way that men have been dealing with thinking women for centuries? Or aren’t you capable of that? ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Lao](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@Dr.Lao](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Lao)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992/5 "2002-06-08T19:32:35Z")
From the women who said we need to execute John Walker in order to prevent liberals from becoming traitors, I think she is long passed the “strong opinion” phase and well into the “totally insane” phase. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Lao](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@Dr.Lao](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Lao)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992/6 "2002-06-08T19:46:49Z")
Ug, I meant, “From the wom **a** n…” ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992/7 "2002-06-08T19:53:20Z")
> [@](#): > > Yes, let’s harken back to the days of yesteryear, when any woman with a strong opinion was “hysterical” and in need of therapeutic uterus manipulation to calm her down. Are you actually familiar with the “work” of “conquer their country and force them to convert ot Christianity” Coulter? She has no points to rebut. She gets work because she is so outrageous that various publishers know that she will spark (irate) readership. She has already lost a couple of jobs with conservative publications because her irrationality outstripped that of the most biased readers. (Not a statement that conservatives are biased, but readers among conservatives hold opinions across a spectrum and hers are out beyond the lunatic fringe of theirs.) **beagledave** simply noted the number of references that a good Freudian would discern in her latest spewings and posted an amusing Pit thread on the subject. This thread is not about rebutting a “woman with a strong opinion” but about mocking one of the most insanely foolish writers currently working in the American scene. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992/8 "2002-06-08T20:04:19Z")
“We can ride elevators a quarter-mile into the sky and have dinner. What can they do?” So does that mean we’re morally better because we’re more industrialized? Never mind; there’s probably no point in examining this stuff rationally. It was news to me that being a liberal is supposed to keep me from being angry at the terrorists. What a strange woman. ---
**Author:** ![Big\_Kahuna\_Burger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Big\_Kahuna\_Burger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Big_Kahuna_Burger)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992/9 "2002-06-08T20:05:36Z")
She’s the best example we have for why we need the :foil: smiley. ---
**Author:** ![JonScribe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3be4f8/32.png) [@JonScribe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JonScribe)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992/10 "2002-06-08T20:10:27Z")
“We can ride elevators and quarter-mile into the sky and have dinner. What can they do.” Thank God, that the Cold War is over, otherwise we’d be building ever-taller buildings with ever-higher restaurants with ever-snootier waiters in competitions with the Soviets. Eventually we’d build a building so tall with a restaurant so snooty that no one could be served. And then the terrorists would have won. ---
**Author:** ![tramp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@tramp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tramp)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992/11 "2002-06-08T20:27:07Z")
I don’t think Ann Coulter can ever be your queen sized bitch until she eats something. ---
**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992/12 "2002-06-08T20:34:39Z")
I am still looking forward to the day that Ms. Coulter, or someone of her ilk, announces that not only are liberals a Fifth Column that needs to be restrained by an occasional judicial homicide, but that the Civil Liberties Union actually planned the September highjackings. I would not put it beyond her. Incidentally, Ms. Coulter would still be a nut case if she had testicles and a three-day growth of beard. We have grown immune to shock humor, I suppose we will develop an immunity to shock political commentary. That will happen when we find the roots of both in a lack of original thought and sophomoric sensibilities. So there! ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992/13 "2002-06-08T20:41:22Z")
What has a dildo ever done to you to deserve such? And do they make such for insertion into a cloaca, rather than the standard vagina? As to the opinions of “strong women”, I got ten bucks says Molly Ivins can kick her butt into next week. ---
**Author:** ![WSLer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a6a055/32.png) [@WSLer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WSLer)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992/14 "2002-06-08T20:50:59Z")
> [@](#): > > The military has the technology to make the buildings safe from incoming missles. Really? Would this be along the lines of a Patriot missle, the kind that failed so spectacularly during the Persian Gulf war? And let’s just enter candyland for a moment and say that this fabulous military technology DID work and destroyed the incoming missles before they hit the new & improved WTT’s. Answer me this then: Where would the debris from the missles fall, or rather onto how many buildings in lower Manhattan would it fall and how much damage would those smaller buildings sustain? Or am I just being an asshole for quibbling over such a “minor detail?” Ann puts new meaning in the phrase “skank 'ho.” ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992/15 "2002-06-08T21:07:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elucidator \* > \*\* And do they make such for insertion into a cloaca, rather than the standard vagina? > \*\* Nice! > [@](#): > > Coulter:\*\*The reason liberals prefer a park to luminous skyscrapers is that they are not angry. Liberals express sympathy for the victims, but they’re not angry at the terrorists. > \*\* Honestly, this is perhaps THE stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. It is so insanely ignorant on so many levels, that I am literally astonished that any person with enough intelligence to use a keyboard could really believe this. I suppose it’s possible Ann Coulter dictates this stuff from a brain damage ward somewhere, but I strongly suspect she’s seeing if she can make a living tweaking people. ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992/16 "2002-06-08T21:09:49Z")
Further proof that Ann Coulter is a **FUCKING LOON**. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992/17 "2002-06-08T21:21:03Z")
> [@](#): > > I suppose it’s possible Ann Coulter dictates this stuff from a brain damage ward somewhere, but I strongly suspect she’s seeing if she can make a living tweaking people. She probably makes a very good living at it. She probably also takes that to mean that she is validated and that people eagerly await their chance to be dazzled by her brilliance. I used to think she was pulling our chains but now I think she really believes the garbage she puts out. ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992/18 "2002-06-08T23:12:12Z")
I say let E.R. Shipp take her on in a battle of wits. But then E.R. Shipp would be fighting an unarmed woman. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992/19 "2002-06-08T23:49:01Z")
You know what? I have a feeling that Ann Coulter is exactly what the terrorists view as the majority of Americans. And that’s fucking scary. Forget the dildo-I don’t think it will fit along side her head. Buy her a fucking muzzle! ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2002, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992/20 "2002-06-09T00:30:44Z")
> [@](#): > > Buy her a fucking muzzle! Ha! You just want to silence her because she is a woman with strong opinions. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992.md?page=2)