# Somebody PLEASE get Ann Coulter a shiny new dildo.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [June 8, 2002, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992 "2002-06-08T18:48:31Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 6\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\
**Post date:** [June 9, 2002, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992/41 "2002-06-09T23:29:25Z")

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Sorry I disturbed you, **elucidator**. To help scrub that image out of your head, I give you [Strom Thurmond’s night of hot gay sex.](http://www.theonion.com/onion3112/stromchange.html) No need to thank me.

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**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\
**Post date:** [June 9, 2002, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992/42 "2002-06-09T23:37:00Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Miller \*  
> \*\*Sorry I disturbed you, **elucidator**. To help scrub that image out of your head, I give you [Strom Thurmond’s night of hot gay sex.](http://www.theonion.com/onion3112/stromchange.html) No need to thank me. \*\*

> [@](#):
>
> Though reluctant to discuss more personal, intimate details of the encounter, Thurmond did say that “you have not lived until you have brought another man to climax using only your lips and tongue.”

[Kurtz voice]The horror! The horror![/KV]

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**Author:** ![Com2Kid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@Com2Kid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Com2Kid)\
**Post date:** [June 9, 2002, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992/43 "2002-06-09T23:48:14Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Miller \*  
> \*\*
> 
> A good nine inch dildo would do wonders for John Ashcroft, too. \*\*

Yah, but how long would it have to be?

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**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992/44 "2002-06-10T03:32:55Z")

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_Bleeeaaaarrgh…!_ 😛

That was perhaps the sickest, funniest thing I’ve read all week. 😃

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**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992/45 "2002-06-10T03:45:03Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Erecting enormous buildings to replace the Twin Towers limns the distinction between us and the barbarians. We can ride elevators a quarter-mile into the sky and have dinner. What can they do?

Knock them down, Ann, or hadn’t you noticed? That is what this is all about.

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**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-please-get-ann-coulter-a-shiny-new-dildo/112992/46 "2002-06-10T15:24:37Z")

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Ms. Coulter may eventually be unable to get published in recognized conservative magazines, but I predict tv and/or radio. She’d fit right in with the local morning radio idiots (Atlanta, Georgia). A local show called “The Regular Guys” is an amazing celebration of ignorance; their solution to the Israel-Palestinian problem is a “kill all Arabs” policy. Of course, it’s supposed to be a goofy “comedy” show where nothing is taken seriously; maybe that’s the format for Ann Coulter.

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