# Somebody stole a bridge **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 14, 2021, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-stole-a-bridge/956024 "2021-12-14T05:14:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-stole-a-bridge/956024/1 "2021-12-14T05:14:18Z")
Not even bridges are safe from sticky fingers > **[An entire bridge was stolen from Middlebury Run Park](https://www.beaconjournal.com/story/news/2021/12/13/akron-police-say-58-foot-bridge-stolen-middlebury-run-park-crime-seiberling-street/6496467001/)** > > Akron police say thieves first stole deck boards, then the entire metal frame of a 58-foot bridge from Middlebury Run Park last month ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-stole-a-bridge/956024/2 "2021-12-14T05:27:07Z")
Maybe somebody realized they burned a bridge they shouldn’t have and now need to replace it. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-stole-a-bridge/956024/3 "2021-12-14T05:32:33Z")
Maybe they should check on the whereabouts of this guy: > **[Man in China arrested for highway robbery… he literally stole the street](https://soranews24.com/2018/02/05/man-in-china-arrested-for-highway-robbery-he-literally-stole-the-street/)** > > Industrious criminal charged with making off with 800 meters of road. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-stole-a-bridge/956024/4 "2021-12-14T06:56:18Z")
I have a sturdy, iron-clad alibi. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-stole-a-bridge/956024/5 "2021-12-14T07:21:36Z")
I’d be looking for someone local who owns a large property with a long driveway that crosses a stream. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-stole-a-bridge/956024/6 "2021-12-14T11:27:23Z")
Presumably somebody sold it to the person who took it. ---
**Author:** ![FinsToTheLeft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finstotheleft/32/2930_2.png) [@FinsToTheLeft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinsToTheLeft)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-stole-a-bridge/956024/7 "2021-12-14T11:29:25Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > Maybe somebody realized they burned a bridge they shouldn’t have and now need to replace it. Do you think there was water under the bridge? ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-stole-a-bridge/956024/8 "2021-12-14T11:32:57Z")
Reading the story, they only stole the “treated deck boards” - and that after clearing brush from around the bridge. Otherwise it would lead to a revival of all those jokes: “Pssst, wanna buy a bridge?” I wonder if the reporter realized the double-meaning: “It criminals more than a day to pull it off.” ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-stole-a-bridge/956024/9 "2021-12-14T13:23:58Z")
Many years ago a friend of mine stole a church, sort of. He knew of an old church slated for demolition and stopped to look it over. He was in the process of building his home and was always on the lookout for interesting stuff. Well, the wooden floors in the church were beautiful. He looked up the name of the responsible party and met with him, checkbook in hand, to buy the wood. For reasons the church didn’t want to sell, but the guy my friend spoke with kept dropping hints that if the wood disappeared, nobody would mind. One night he and a crew stopped by with lanterns and pulled up the floor board by board. His home is beautiful and the floor is a cool story. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-stole-a-bridge/956024/10 "2021-12-14T14:01:26Z")
Statistically, the thief is likely to be a Span-ish speaker. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-stole-a-bridge/956024/11 "2021-12-14T14:16:51Z")
> [@DavidNRockies](#): > > Statistically, the thief is likely to be a Span-ish speaker. - Now that’s a bridge too f… n/m ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-stole-a-bridge/956024/12 "2021-12-14T17:03:17Z")
First country song written about the crime: _If She’s So Bad For Me, Then Why Cantilever_ ---
**Author:** ![WildaBeast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wildabeast/32/6_2.png) [@WildaBeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildaBeast)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-stole-a-bridge/956024/13 "2021-12-14T17:15:30Z")
> [@Bonum\_Legatum](#): > > Reading the story, they only stole the “treated deck boards” The stole the deck boards Nov. 3, and then a week later they stole the rest: > On Nov. 11, the entire metal frame, 58 feet long, 10 feet wide with 6 foot sides, was gone. My bet is they stole the frame to sell as scrap metal. I don’t know if the boards have any value, or if they just had to remove them to get the metal part. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-stole-a-bridge/956024/14 "2021-12-14T17:28:12Z")
[I’m just trying to find the bridge Has anybody seen the bridge? Please Have you seen the bridge? I ain’t seen the bridge Where’s that confounded bridge?](https://youtu.be/CWf5FYSK7Yc?t=178) ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-stole-a-bridge/956024/15 "2021-12-14T17:40:28Z")
Maybe they thought it was actually a Witch. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2021, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-stole-a-bridge/956024/16 "2021-12-15T11:24:14Z")
[![](https://i.imgur.com/XS5LK.gif) ](https://i.imgur.com/XS5LK.gif) ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2021, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-stole-a-bridge/956024/17 "2021-12-20T21:12:26Z")
They found it: > **[Police: Stolen Ohio bridge found, man facing theft charge](https://apnews.com/article/ohio-theft-akron-medina-26240521f605f42c89e2e6d4350591e5)** > > AKRON, Ohio (AP) — A 58-foot-long (18-meter) pedestrian bridge stolen from an Ohio city last month has been found and a man is facing charges, police said. Akron police said investigators acting on tips and other information Friday afternoon found... ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2021, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-stole-a-bridge/956024/18 "2021-12-20T21:29:31Z")
Ohio Man has a long way to go to match Florida Man, but this is a start. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-stole-a-bridge/956024/19 "2021-12-21T13:43:15Z")
That is _ **BAD** _ !! \* \*ie, good. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-stole-a-bridge/956024/20 "2021-12-21T14:03:35Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > They found it: Now the police are investigating the theft of several staircases. Steps have been taken. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somebody-stole-a-bridge/956024.md?page=2)