# Someone anonymously emails you amateur porn featuring a family member. What do you do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 22, 2016, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-anonymously-emails-you-amateur-porn-featuring-a-family-member-what-do-you-do/749876 "2016-03-22T18:12:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-anonymously-emails-you-amateur-porn-featuring-a-family-member-what-do-you-do/749876/21 "2016-03-23T15:58:55Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > Mid South mostly but I lived in Massachusetts 6 years too. My dad was stationed there. > > Not sure why it matters. I was trying to find a less boring way to say “having sex” in the OP. I’m from Pennsylvania. Around here, we don’t send hardcore pictures or videos of ourselves to our relatives. Must be a regional thing. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-anonymously-emails-you-amateur-porn-featuring-a-family-member-what-do-you-do/749876/22 "2016-03-23T16:05:23Z")
The email could be from anybody. Ex spouses, coworkers, friends with a grudge against the person in the photo. Or it might be someone trying to warn a parent that their teen is sexting and posting inappropriate material. The modern, crazy tech obsessed world. 😉 Polaroids got people in trouble thirty years ago. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-anonymously-emails-you-amateur-porn-featuring-a-family-member-what-do-you-do/749876/23 "2016-03-23T16:38:09Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I’m from Pennsylvania. Around here, we don’t send hardcore pictures or videos of ourselves to our relatives. Must be a regional thing. You personally might not be so inclined. But if you went looking I’m pretty sure you’d be surprised how wrong you are about your fellow Pennsylvanians. In the pre-internet era I did IT support for a bunch of clients in my city. One of whom was a nationally advertised hard-core phone sex company. Their customer files included damn near every zip code in America. I checked. The Bible belt was heavily over-represented relative to their population. But Puritan New England was a close runner up. Libertine California was under-represented. As the OP says: once a pic exists in this modern world it has a tendency to get away from the people shown. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-anonymously-emails-you-amateur-porn-featuring-a-family-member-what-do-you-do/749876/24 "2016-03-23T16:54:51Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > You personally might not be so inclined. But if you went looking I’m pretty sure you’d be surprised how wrong you are about your fellow Pennsylvanians. Oh, I totally understand. I was just dissing the south… ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-anonymously-emails-you-amateur-porn-featuring-a-family-member-what-do-you-do/749876/25 "2016-03-23T17:00:53Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > As the OP says: once a pic exists in this modern world it has a tendency to get away from the people shown. I think I’ve mentioned this before. When my son was in grade-school, he came to me with his phone. He looked embarrassed. He told me a girl in his class sent him a picture. I looked at his phone and was shocked to see a young girl’s breasts. I remained calm. I explained that although curiosity was normal, and there was nothing wrong with sex, blah, blah, blah. I explained that we should delete the picture and maybe I should talk to the girl’s parents. I even wondered about talking to my attorney preemptively. At that point my son could no longer control his laughter. I’d been pranked. The picture was a chubby boy in his class showing his boy-boobs for the camera.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-anonymously-emails-you-amateur-porn-featuring-a-family-member-what-do-you-do/749876/26 "2016-03-23T17:41:31Z")
Depends entirely on which family member and, to a lesser extent, what is in the pic. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-anonymously-emails-you-amateur-porn-featuring-a-family-member-what-do-you-do/749876/27 "2016-03-23T18:45:39Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Oh, I totally understand. I was just dissing the south… They certainly deserve it. 🙂 The explosion in Trump bumper stickers & yard signs since \*after \*our primary is scary. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-anonymously-emails-you-amateur-porn-featuring-a-family-member-what-do-you-do/749876/28 "2016-03-23T19:56:32Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > taking a sausage for the team. Who is this “team” that your relative is taking the sausage for? > [@Chronos](#): > > The teacher, meanwhile, absolutely and unambiguously committed one firable offense, and may well have committed others. What firable offense? The teacher said it was part of her job to monitor the hall when the classes are changing. Or are you taking what the kids who do this type of thing to their teachers word over hers? ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-anonymously-emails-you-amateur-porn-featuring-a-family-member-what-do-you-do/749876/29 "2016-03-23T20:28:55Z")
I’d call the police and try to figure out who it is ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-anonymously-emails-you-amateur-porn-featuring-a-family-member-what-do-you-do/749876/30 "2016-03-23T20:43:54Z")
> [@YogSothoth](#): > > I’d call the police and try to figure out who it is And Officer Friendly is going to what, exactly? (Other than sharing it with the squad) ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-anonymously-emails-you-amateur-porn-featuring-a-family-member-what-do-you-do/749876/31 "2016-03-23T20:54:13Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Who is this “team” that your relative is taking the sausage for? The Cleveland Browns. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-anonymously-emails-you-amateur-porn-featuring-a-family-member-what-do-you-do/749876/32 "2016-03-23T21:29:25Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > … What firable offense? The teacher said it was part of her job to monitor the hall when the classes are changing. Or are you taking what the kids who do this type of thing to their teachers word over hers? Not that I agree with the teacher getting in any kind of trouble but … The original article made it clear the issue is that the district had a policy that staff could not possess pornography at work. My Fortune 500 employer has a similar restriction although we sure aren’t a school and have tens of thousands of employees [del]beavering away[/del] _working_ in secure areas with zero public access, child or grown-up. Any “dirty” pictures on your phone, tablet, etc. are such possession. Just as would be a physical picture in your wallet or purse. If management finds out about it is a certified BFD at my place. You might survive it happening once. Not twice though. How they (any “they”) distinguishes between files deliberately placed in a device’s local storage, files in its browser cache from off-work viewing sessions, and (given an active internet connection) the device’s untrammeled ability to view about 1 trillion hours of non-locally stored porn is beyond me. But differentiate they do. ISTM every kids’ phone has infinite porn on it. All one has to do is open the screen, click the browser, and type a few words into google. Assuming of course one doesn’t already know any porn warehouses’ urls. So why aren’t we jailing all these kids for possession? How much more “possessed” is something one can see with 2 clicks \*here \*versus 2 clicks _there_? ---
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-anonymously-emails-you-amateur-porn-featuring-a-family-member-what-do-you-do/749876/33 "2016-03-23T23:43:33Z")
I think you have to tell the relative, because they have a big problem on their hands. The pics themselves are no big deal, but the fact that someone has them and is sending them around to people is a pretty big problem, and they need to be aware of it and ready to deal with it. > [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > What firable offense? She brought nude pics of herself to school (which might be a firing offense on its own) and left them unattended and unsecured in a roomful of kids. I’m honestly amazed at how many people have no problem with a teacher giving kids access to nude photos of the teacher in class. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2016, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-anonymously-emails-you-amateur-porn-featuring-a-family-member-what-do-you-do/749876/34 "2016-03-24T00:36:58Z")
IMO “giving access” is a bit of an exaggeration for “having the kids rummage through her purse while her back was turned, then dig through her phone as well.” Having them as the screen-saver on the desktop PC built into the room’s teacher’s station would be “giving access.” This being a big deal is simply the Victorian moral panic about teachers having sex evar. Updated to 2016 tech but still with the same tired 1880s morals as were applied to the mandatorily-unmarried-but-chaperoned schoolmarms of the Old Frontier. ---
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2016, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-anonymously-emails-you-amateur-porn-featuring-a-family-member-what-do-you-do/749876/35 "2016-03-24T02:33:17Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > IMO “giving access” is a bit of an exaggeration for “having the kids rummage through her purse while her back was turned, then dig through her phone as well.” They didn’t rummage through her purse, and I would expect a teacher who kept printed nudes of herself in her purse to get fired if it was found out too, even if the kids did have to ‘rummage’ to find it. She left her phone unlocked and unattended in a classroom of kids, she either should have left it locked, kept it on her, or not put ‘firing offense’ pictures on it. > [@](#): > > This being a big deal is simply the Victorian moral panic about teachers having sex evar. Teachers giving kids nudes of themselves to kids is not ‘Victorian moral panic’. And putting a damn lock on the phone that you use to store nudes of yourself in a school building is not some huge, onerous burden. I really can’t believe that anyone is defending a teacher who is grossly sexually irresponsible with her students. ---
**Author:** ![JustinC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justinc/32/8083_2.png) [@JustinC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustinC)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2016, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-anonymously-emails-you-amateur-porn-featuring-a-family-member-what-do-you-do/749876/36 "2016-03-24T13:38:08Z")
I’d delete the photo and try to forget about it, Photoshop can do some amazing things now so telling the family member might be a bigger surprise (and disappointment) for them than I’d expect. As to the teacher topic; she did a very foolish thing but sacking seems too much. She’d probably want to move away anyway as the embarrassment in school would be enormous, sacking her seems to send the school’s students and staff (and future staff) a threatening message that it’s prioritised the students over the teachers. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2016, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-anonymously-emails-you-amateur-porn-featuring-a-family-member-what-do-you-do/749876/37 "2016-03-24T14:57:53Z")
At least my mom’s not on the cover of Crack Whore Magazine! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2016, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-anonymously-emails-you-amateur-porn-featuring-a-family-member-what-do-you-do/749876/38 "2016-03-24T15:02:36Z")
I checked “delete the photo” and “inform the person featured in the photo.” You left out a third option - “be seriously skeeved out.” ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2016, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-anonymously-emails-you-amateur-porn-featuring-a-family-member-what-do-you-do/749876/39 "2016-03-24T15:10:23Z")
> [@Pantastic](#): > > They didn’t rummage through her purse, and I would expect a teacher who kept printed nudes of herself in her purse to get fired if it was found out too, even if the kids did have to ‘rummage’ to find it. She left her phone unlocked and unattended in a classroom of kids, she either should have left it locked, kept it on her, or not put ‘firing offense’ pictures on it. > > Teachers giving kids nudes of themselves to kids is not ‘Victorian moral panic’. And putting a damn lock on the phone that you use to store nudes of yourself in a school building is not some huge, onerous burden. I really can’t believe that anyone is defending a teacher who is grossly sexually irresponsible with her students. Raises hand. I see the teacher as only a victim here, and don’t think she did anything wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Go\_Arachnid\_Laser\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b2d939/32.png) [@Go\_Arachnid\_Laser\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_Arachnid_Laser_1)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2016, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-anonymously-emails-you-amateur-porn-featuring-a-family-member-what-do-you-do/749876/40 "2016-03-24T15:26:31Z")
I would delete it, inform my family member about it, kick some ass alongside them if necessary once we find out who send it, and, if I’m close enough to said family member, mock them incessantly about it from that point on. You know, to defuse tension. Also, because I’m a monster. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-anonymously-emails-you-amateur-porn-featuring-a-family-member-what-do-you-do/749876.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-anonymously-emails-you-amateur-porn-featuring-a-family-member-what-do-you-do/749876.md?page=3)