# Someone Offered to Impregnate Me Today **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 19, 2008, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-offered-to-impregnate-me-today/460538 "2008-08-19T10:10:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DellieM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@DellieM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DellieM)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-offered-to-impregnate-me-today/460538/1 "2008-08-19T10:10:51Z")
And it wasn’t my husband. Every now and again we have a spate of weird people come in with strange queries and conspiracy theories. We affectionately refer to it as ‘who put the sandwich board again’ (the mythical sandwich board offers magical help for all complaints). There is a particular piece of legislation that is about to go before the Parliament, and it relates to changing the laws regarding abortion. This is the sort of thing that brings in the strongly opinionated (either way), the religious and the end-of-days sort of people. We listen, we take down the notes and promise to pass it to the boss, and to keep them informed of the parliamentary process and when the bill passes and any amendments etc. We are good at keeping emotional people happy. However, today a visitor to our office threw me a curveball. About three feet high, balding, and barely a tooth in his head he proceeded to lecture me about the evils of abortion and weren’t we meant to be increasing our population, and he was prepared to do his bit and start with me. Me: Pardon? :eek: Him: Yep, I’ll do it for Australia. Me: Well, I’m about to go to lunch so you’ll have to reschedule. With that, the obliging little patriot waddled out. Bizarre. ---
**Author:** ![Staggerlee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/staggerlee/32/3134_2.png) [@Staggerlee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Staggerlee)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-offered-to-impregnate-me-today/460538/2 "2008-08-19T10:30:22Z")
[QUOTE=DellieM] About three feet high, balding, and barely a tooth in his head… [/QUOTE] Are you sure he didn’t phrase it “Do it for Australia I will”? ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-offered-to-impregnate-me-today/460538/3 "2008-08-19T10:42:34Z")
You know, you’re supposed to have one for you and one for him BEFORE you have one for Peter Costello^H^H^H the country 😉 ---
**Author:** ![DellieM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@DellieM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DellieM)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-offered-to-impregnate-me-today/460538/4 "2008-08-19T11:55:48Z")
[QUOTE=Aspidistra] You know, you’re supposed to have one for you and one for him BEFORE you have one for Peter Costello^H^H^H the country 😉 [/QUOTE] Crikey! I hope he doesn’t dig that quote up as his ‘cite?’! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-offered-to-impregnate-me-today/460538/5 "2008-08-19T12:14:14Z")
Ah yes, those gentle folk. I know them well. I spent a quarter-hour on the phone with one last night, a nice gentleman with some off-the-wall theories about global warming who was deaf enough that he couldn’t hear my increasingly loud and desperate but polite attempts to break through his stream of consciousness and get off the phone. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-offered-to-impregnate-me-today/460538/6 "2008-08-19T12:44:42Z")
[QUOTE=Staggerlee] Are you sure he didn’t phrase it “Do it for Australia I will”? [/QUOTE] Or “Goo goo gah gah”? ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-offered-to-impregnate-me-today/460538/7 "2008-08-19T14:27:19Z")
[QUOTE=Staggerlee] Are you sure he didn’t phrase it “Do it for Australia I will”? [/QUOTE] I can’t not read that with an English accent. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-offered-to-impregnate-me-today/460538/8 "2008-08-19T15:22:42Z")
Three feet tall? I bet he’s good down under. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-offered-to-impregnate-me-today/460538/9 "2008-08-19T15:26:24Z")
[QUOTE=Mtgman] Three feet tall? I bet he’s good down under. Enjoy, Steven [/QUOTE] I would have such an awesome joke if the OP’s name was Barbie. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-offered-to-impregnate-me-today/460538/10 "2008-08-19T15:33:04Z")
[QUOTE=DellieM] About three feet high… [/QUOTE] Ahhh… so some people like sex with [one nightstand](http://www.foamorder.com/graphics/nightstand_with_drawer.jpg). Now I get it. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-offered-to-impregnate-me-today/460538/11 "2008-08-19T15:35:43Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] I would have such an awesome joke if the OP’s name was Barbie. [/QUOTE] Put another shrimp in the Barbie? Australians are so good natured. I would have decked the guy. (if I were British, I would have blasted him with some withering riposte along the lines of not sure his gene pool was up to the challenge or some such. Ah, cultural differences–the spice of life). ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-offered-to-impregnate-me-today/460538/12 "2008-08-19T15:47:43Z")
Those bloody Leprechauns, they get everywhere. Y’know if you had allowed him to “do it” he was obliged to grant you 3 wishes ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-offered-to-impregnate-me-today/460538/13 "2008-08-19T16:01:55Z")
In case this happens again, you should arm yourself with the appropriate child support guidelines table. Where I live, you’ll find plenty of women who would jump at such an offer. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-offered-to-impregnate-me-today/460538/14 "2008-08-19T16:28:30Z")
[QUOTE=DellieM] Me: Well, I’m about to go to lunch so you’ll have to reschedule. [/QUOTE] I got a healthy chuckly out of that line. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-offered-to-impregnate-me-today/460538/15 "2008-08-19T16:33:37Z")
[QUOTE=chowder] Y’know if you had allowed him to “do it” he was obliged to grant you 3 wishes [/QUOTE] Shite, don’t tell me that one of us got you to fall for that one. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-offered-to-impregnate-me-today/460538/16 "2008-08-19T17:55:05Z")
[QUOTE=DellieM] About three feet high, balding, and barely a tooth in his head… [/QUOTE] I shall call him Mini-me. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Call\_Me\_Shirley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Don\_t\_Call\_Me\_Shirley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Call_Me_Shirley)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-offered-to-impregnate-me-today/460538/17 "2008-08-19T19:07:42Z")
[QUOTE=Jackknifed Juggernaut] In case this happens again, you should arm yourself with the appropriate child support guidelines table. Where I live, you’ll find plenty of women who would jump at such an offer. [/QUOTE] Nah, the anti-abortion folks don’t care about supporting children once they’re born. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-offered-to-impregnate-me-today/460538/18 "2008-08-19T19:11:58Z")
Hell, _ **I’d** _ do it for Australia, and I’m a 'Merkin! That’s how much love I have for you guys. ---
**Author:** ![DellieM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@DellieM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DellieM)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-offered-to-impregnate-me-today/460538/19 "2008-08-19T23:42:13Z")
You are all quite mad. (sigh … I love it here …) ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2008, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-offered-to-impregnate-me-today/460538/20 "2008-08-20T00:14:58Z")
Somebody gave me a free pen today. I suppose that’s not really in the same league as an offer of impregnation. But still… hey, free pen. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-offered-to-impregnate-me-today/460538.md?page=2)