# Someone shoot me, please. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 6, 2002, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-shoot-me-please/140858 "2002-12-06T04:38:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Narile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-shoot-me-please/140858/1 "2002-12-06T04:38:57Z")
Was still joking with friends about this [idea…](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=148408) when one of them made me consider another evil… Jim Hensons Muppets of the Rings!!! Kermit, the ranger. His nephew the ringbearer. Fonzie his brave sidekick. Ms Piggy as Arwen and Eowyn. (He’s in trouble.) Oscar the Grouch as Gandalf (He has the eyebrows.) Please, someone shoot me before I twist my brain again. ---
**Author:** ![Banger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@Banger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banger)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-shoot-me-please/140858/2 "2002-12-06T05:13:13Z")
Bert and Ernie are Merry and Pippin. Grover is Gollum, just because both are really creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Banger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@Banger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banger)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-shoot-me-please/140858/3 "2002-12-06T05:14:37Z")
Oh yeah, and _BANG!_ Had to do it. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-shoot-me-please/140858/4 "2002-12-06T05:31:21Z")
Gonzo the Great as Grima Wormtongue Big Bird as Galadriel Animal as the Balrog And… The Swedish Chef… as Elrond 😉 “And then-a you takenski ring to da Mountska Doom-a, and-a ye threwn it inska da fire-a, and ya fightenska orc orc orc!” ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-shoot-me-please/140858/5 "2002-12-06T06:23:03Z")
i would say the old guys from the balcony as Gandalf and Saruman. Cookie Monster as the cave troll. Elmo as Frodo. Snuffluffagus as the Guardian in the lake at the gate to Moria. ---
**Author:** ![Narile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2002, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-shoot-me-please/140858/6 "2002-12-07T01:51:49Z")
Actually, I’d see Statler as Theodin, and Waldorf as Dethenor. They ain’t spry enough to be Istari. ---
**Author:** ![Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2002, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-shoot-me-please/140858/7 "2002-12-07T02:04:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Narile \* > **… > Fonzie his brave sidekick. > …** Arthur Fonzarelli, as portrayed by Henry Winkler, playing Samwise Gamgee to a frog’s Frodo! That’s seriously trippy! I think Snuffleupagus pretty much has to be the Oliphaunt. Grover? Creepy? He’s probably my favorite Muppet of all time. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2002, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-shoot-me-please/140858/8 "2002-12-07T02:43:26Z")
If Grover is going to be Gollum, then Gollums old hobbit chum (whom he strangles when he first finds the One Ring) has got to be that restaurant customer that’s always trying Grover-the-waiter’s patience. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2002, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-shoot-me-please/140858/9 "2002-12-07T07:46:23Z")
Kermit ought to be Frodo Bert and Ernie, as has been already mentioned, are naturals for Merry and Pippin. Sam is a bit of a stumper. Due to the blatant homoerotic nature of his relationship with Frodo, Miss Piggy was my first thought, but her attitude is better suited to Gimli. “Hiii-YA!” Gollum should be played by the Cookie Monster. The lead Nazgul and former Witch King: The Count. “…Six…Seven! Seven rings for mortal men! Ah ah ah ahhh!” Galadriel and Elrond should be played by Maria and that bald black guy, respectivly. This is a cool thread idea, **Narile** , but you ought to ask a mod to change the thread name to something more descriptive. I skipped it the first few times I saw it because I thought it was about that insipid David Spade sitcom. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2002, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-shoot-me-please/140858/10 "2002-12-07T09:06:07Z")
Wow, we’ve already done Simpsons LotR, Looney Toons LotR, and now Muppets LotR. Is “X does LotR” going to become the new “Ask the X” fad? ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2002, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-shoot-me-please/140858/11 "2002-12-07T15:29:38Z")
That Jim Henson **did** adapt the LOTR to film. It’s a wonderful film with the title _The Dark Crystal_.