# Someone tell me if this is fair **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 6, 2001, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-tell-me-if-this-is-fair/48676 "2001-01-06T02:11:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-tell-me-if-this-is-fair/48676/21 "2001-01-06T16:35:36Z")
Yep, this is definitely unfair, and I think you could get that dean in a whole lot of trouble over this. But perhaps you should give the idiot a chance first, by getting your parents involved, as **dewt** suggests. I haven’t read many of your other threads, but even if you aren’t on the best of terms with your parents (is this why **dewt** fled ?), they would not be happy about Shabat not being observed. And if that avenue doesn’t work, then I also think the ACLU would be a good idea. (And People magazine sounds cool too!) But seriously, standing up for yourself and having a positive outcome to this (and I don’t see how you could lose) may someday look good on a resume or college application (under civic involvement?). ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-tell-me-if-this-is-fair/48676/22 "2001-01-06T18:09:44Z")
> [@](#): > > I try to tell him that I can’t serve it for religious reasons. My parents keep shabat and do not drive at all on Saturday. When I told him that, \*\* he told me that I should find another school because of that \*\* . - (bolding mine) \* WHAT??? He told you that you should find another school because of your religion??? I cannot believe that!! What a bigot! What an asshole! Screw giving this jerk another chance. Go to the ACLU, stat. This kind of behavior should not be tolerated. If your parents call him and make a stink, he might wiggle out of it, but what about the next kid? He’s not going to be more tolerant in the future, I’m sure. He should be disciplined by the board. He didn’t have to suspend you, either. He could have insisted that you stay after school for x amount of days instead of on Saturday. You don’t need something like this on your permanent record, and I think you should inist it be expunged. ---
**Author:** ![hypergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/49beb7/32.png) [@hypergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hypergirl)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-tell-me-if-this-is-fair/48676/23 "2001-01-06T19:46:41Z")
All these suggestions would be gteat, but for one thing. There was no one there when he told me that, therefore I have no proof that he did. Anything that I tried to push against this would be my word against his, and in that scenario, no one in their right mind would actually believe me. ---
**Author:** ![Mundo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bc8723/32.png) [@Mundo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundo)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-tell-me-if-this-is-fair/48676/24 "2001-01-06T20:00:18Z")
I’m confused. What’s so terrible about putting your head down on your desk? It has just recently become a rule in my school that you can’t sleep in study halls but that doesn’t mean you can’t rest your head. (somebody died of a drug overdose and they thought he was just asleep.) ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-tell-me-if-this-is-fair/48676/25 "2001-01-06T20:01:52Z")
But you won’t know that until you _try,_ hypergirl. It’s entirely possible that he’s said this type of thing to other students, and that other students have been afraid to speak out. His telling you that you need to find another school because your parents observe the Sabbath is, IMHO, a blatantly discriminatory statement, and I don’t think you should let it ride. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-tell-me-if-this-is-fair/48676/26 "2001-01-06T20:02:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ssskuggiii \* > \*\*Well, paddy, since you asked, we do have this honor code thing that is signed by both students and faculty. There is a special section of it that says you are violating the honor code if you do something against someone or judge them publicly because of ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, etc. \*\* So, then, “But then I get called in last period and he tells me that I am suspended for two days for “gross disrespect” and “refusal to serve Saturday detention.”” is patently against the rules you’ve just listed. Jess, IMNSHO, “he told me that I should find another school because of that” was probably more to scare you than anything else. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-tell-me-if-this-is-fair/48676/27 "2001-01-06T20:40:22Z")
Good lord, what a jackass. Definitely get your folks involved. Sheesh, what a moron! ---
**Author:** ![Spookyblack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Spookyblack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spookyblack)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-tell-me-if-this-is-fair/48676/28 "2001-01-06T21:14:32Z")
Holy crap, that is one strict school you go to! You got in trouble for putting your head down in class, and then suspended for refusing to go to a saturday detention because of religious beliefs?? Thats crazy. I say raise some hell, and then change schools. ---
**Author:** ![Upham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Upham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Upham)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-tell-me-if-this-is-fair/48676/29 "2001-01-06T21:26:52Z")
**hypergirl** What the hell kind of Nazi backed, jack ass powered, chicken headed school are you going to anyway?! Shouldn’t this guy be an a WW2 movie getting blown up by his own granade? Ya know, i know some pretty big guys, and if this fella was to meet with, you know, a little bit of an “_accident_” on his way out to his car… well think about it anyway. Upham ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-tell-me-if-this-is-fair/48676/30 "2001-01-06T21:45:28Z")
Even if there were no witnesses, if you have an articulate transcript of the entire event from your own point of view, it can be of immense benefit. If the dean is called upon to detail his conduct in the situation and there are enormous discrepancies between what you have listed and what he has, it will increase your credibility. What you need to do is to create this document immediately and then get it filed in some official protest. That way, you have volunteered your version first and the dean will be forced to either unfairly refute you or admit to what you say. If you allow the dean to file his report first, then you will lose some validity to your arguments. You need to fire the first shot here. One of the biggest problems is that you may be able to amelliorate some of the difficulty by talking with the dean first. You will probably want to come armed with your version of things and be ready to file it on the spot if your meeting with the dean does not pan out well. ---
**Author:** ![dewt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9dc877/32.png) [@dewt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dewt)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-tell-me-if-this-is-fair/48676/31 "2001-01-06T22:29:54Z")
I went to a (primarily Jewish) private school where we were not allowed to put our heads on our desks. We were not allowed to even put our elbows on the desk and rest our heads on our hands. It was considered a sign of disrespect to the teacher and an unacceptable lack of self discipline. When we addressed our teachers, it was with Monsieur, or Madame. Detentions were handed out liberally for infractions involving a lack of respect for authority. Tone of voice was an important consideration. You could get a detention for being disrespectful even if the words you used were not. I don’t even know the name of your school, so I certainly don’t know how strict they are. I would ask you, however, if your tone of voice betrayed your obvious disrespect for this man. That might be the root of your problem - as opposed to your religious practices (or, more appropriately those of your parents). That being said, it is profoundly discouraging to hear of cases involving discrimination of any kind. That sort of thing is unacceptable and I think we all bear a responsibility to meet it head on and fight it to our last breath. ---
**Author:** ![Kaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaz)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-tell-me-if-this-is-fair/48676/32 "2001-01-06T22:45:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by zigaretten \* > \*\* My two cents - don’t sweat the small stuff. I mean, when you’re lying on your death bed looking back over your life do you really think that you will even remember this? Hell, enjoy your two days off, you probably deserve them. \*\* The only problem with this is that anything more then a one day In-school suspension goes on your permanent record, or at least that is the way it is in Michigan. Therefore, this would go on her permanent record, and colleges will look at that, and look down on that. Most colleges ask you if you have ever been suspended, and that’s a major loss of points to them. ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-tell-me-if-this-is-fair/48676/33 "2001-01-06T23:05:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > IANAL. > > AFAIK, > > IMNSHO, _ **WHAT???** _ ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-tell-me-if-this-is-fair/48676/34 "2001-01-06T23:11:10Z")
I Am Not A Lawyer. As Far As I Know. In My Not-So-Honest Opinion. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someone-tell-me-if-this-is-fair/48676.md?page=1)