# Someone's breaking into your house with intent to do you and your family harm. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 14, 2015, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someones-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-you-and-your-family-harm/715014 "2015-03-14T23:41:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2015, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someones-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-you-and-your-family-harm/715014/1 "2015-03-14T23:41:27Z")
What do you have to stop them? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2015, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someones-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-you-and-your-family-harm/715014/2 "2015-03-14T23:48:00Z")
They die in a myriad of nasty ways. I don’t think there is anywhere in the house where I am more than 6 feet away from a deadly weapon I am trained to use. The thing that would take the longest would be deciding which weapon would be best - shotgun, one of the pistols, battle axe, various swords, pissed-off cat, etc. The default would be a pistol. If they came through the door right now it would be the .44 Special in the drawer behind me, loaded with Safety Slugs because I like my neighbors. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2015, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someones-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-you-and-your-family-harm/715014/3 "2015-03-14T23:56:15Z")
One protective dog, one dog that would run up and lick them to death and/or trip them because he’s trying to get pets, assorted firearms, several large knives, a baseball bat, hockey stick, casts iron cookware. If hand to hand combat, I have within reach half a dozen very sharp pencils and a couple pair of knitting needles. They can’t do much with no eyes left. And there is currently a hatchet sitting on the dining room table. I should really finish cleaning that. ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2015, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someones-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-you-and-your-family-harm/715014/4 "2015-03-15T00:05:22Z")
As long as they can wait a couple minutes for me to get the gun safe open…I hope the intruder isn’t between me and my keys! Once the safe’s open they are in BIG trouble! Otherwise, I could try to shoot them in the eye with an airsoft gun. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2015, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someones-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-you-and-your-family-harm/715014/5 "2015-03-15T00:36:37Z")
my turf, in the dark, city slicker coming in, knife. I like those odds ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2015, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someones-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-you-and-your-family-harm/715014/6 "2015-03-15T00:37:44Z")
A 60 lb. dog who doesn’t like strangers. An adult daughter who fights dirty. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2015, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someones-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-you-and-your-family-harm/715014/7 "2015-03-15T00:40:07Z")
A deaf, aggressive cat who is likely to think the intruder has food. My money’s on the cat. Seriously, though, I don’t think we have anything in the house that I’d call a traditional weapon of any sort. I used to have baseball bats inside, but not anymore. I suspect, however, that I could do a lot of damage, if pressed, with some normal household items. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2015, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someones-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-you-and-your-family-harm/715014/8 "2015-03-15T00:47:29Z")
A vacuum cleaner with extra suction, a collection of scary stuffed animals, fifty or so potted Euphorbias with really long nasty spines… and Mrs. Jackmannii. :eek::eek::eek: ---
**Author:** ![bubba001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f17d59/32.png) [@bubba001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubba001)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2015, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someones-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-you-and-your-family-harm/715014/9 "2015-03-15T00:54:08Z")
2 large dogs, both can be aggressive. 3 cats, who might be a trip hazard. A 12 gage Mossberg, close to hand next to the bed. But the 6 '1" polock wife is the scariest thing in the house… Trust me on this…🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2015, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someones-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-you-and-your-family-harm/715014/10 "2015-03-15T00:56:42Z")
Hmm, multiple options to stop the threat here, but it’d mainly come down to do I choose between the shotgun with #4 or 000 Buck, or the AR-15 with the 30 round mag? Don’t want to come down with a case of lead poisoning? Then don’t break into Casa Del MacTech, Maine is a Stand Your Ground/Castle Doctrine state. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2015, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someones-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-you-and-your-family-harm/715014/11 "2015-03-15T00:59:01Z")
I’m screwed unless I can retreat to the bathroom fast enough. Then it’s doorknob, hair dryer, stripped wiring, water, and Mac Gyver time bitches. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2015, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someones-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-you-and-your-family-harm/715014/12 "2015-03-15T01:12:38Z")
1. a Remington 870 12-gauge shotgun 2. the rest aren’t important, it’s the shotgun I’m going for. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2015, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someones-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-you-and-your-family-harm/715014/13 "2015-03-15T01:15:19Z")
Lego all over the floor. ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2015, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someones-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-you-and-your-family-harm/715014/14 "2015-03-15T01:37:15Z")
I have a very aggressive Betta and if the intruder stuck his finger in the tank and then held it there for a minute, boy he’d get a surprising nip! ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2015, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someones-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-you-and-your-family-harm/715014/15 "2015-03-15T01:38:01Z")
I’d offer him a cup of Orange Pekoe tea and attempt to reason with the rascal. If that didn’t work, I’d throw my daughter’s guinea pig at him. Mr. Snickers has been known to bite people he doesn’t like rather hard! I’m pretty sure the intruder would surrender without struggle at that point. If not, then it’s time for the “big gun”; I’d release our schnoodle dog, Daisy, to go pee on his leg! You don’t mess with the Tibby family. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2015, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someones-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-you-and-your-family-harm/715014/16 "2015-03-15T02:00:42Z")
I have just about no useful weapons in my house. No gun, no knives that would be useful for self-defense. I’d probably kick, punch, shove, and also make a loud racket - I live in a crowded apartment complex. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2015, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someones-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-you-and-your-family-harm/715014/17 "2015-03-15T02:05:36Z")
A phone (to call the police with.) ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2015, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someones-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-you-and-your-family-harm/715014/18 "2015-03-15T02:18:38Z")
A stern expression. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2015, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someones-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-you-and-your-family-harm/715014/19 "2015-03-15T02:36:59Z")
I have a trio of effective weapons, each more powerful than the one before, that I would unleash in sequence. Take that: My powers of persuasion. Prayer. Begging. ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2015, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someones-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-you-and-your-family-harm/715014/20 "2015-03-15T02:45:28Z")
A blood-curdling little girl scream. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/someones-breaking-into-your-house-with-intent-to-do-you-and-your-family-harm/715014.md?page=2)