# Something about you that's TMI. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 7, 2004, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496 "2004-12-07T04:20:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![dearissues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/919ad9/32.png) [@dearissues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dearissues)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/121 "2004-12-08T04:49:42Z")
> [@chaoticdonkey](#): > > Lol… don’t know how old you are, but try being 18 and having the same problem. 😛 I turn 21 in a month, but I’ve had the problem since about that age. You would think they’d be excited to have a younger woman after 'em. But I guess some men have trouble overlooking the age and just seeing the person. Balls. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/122 "2004-12-08T04:51:24Z")
> [@fetus](#): > > You’re really telling me it’s difficult to get 40-year-old men as an 18-year-old woman? I can only hope I’ll know 18-year-olds like you when I’m 40! Whoops. Forgot to mention. I’m a guy. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/123 "2004-12-08T10:57:01Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > My wife and I are trying to get pregnant. We’ve only been “pill-free” for about a month, and, being a little Type-A, we’re rather impatient to just get the bun in the oven and start cooking. Obviously, we’re looking out sharp for ovulation. She peed on the stick, saw the little blue stripe or whatever it is this morning, and, yep, it’s time. > > For a late lunch today I ate a big ole’ salad with chili all over the top; a kind of taco salad. That effing salad did _not_ agree with me. I now have the shits, unbelievable gas, and I’m cramping like a son-of-a-bitch. Oh, and I’m really supposed to have sex. Tonight. Meaning now. > > The plan is, the wife will go sleep for a while in the other bedroom while I befoul ours, occasionally dashing to the can to void. Once that’s done with, whenever it is, I’m gonna take a shower, go look at internet porn in a last-ditch effort to achieve arousal, and then hopefully boink one past the goalie at what will probably be about three in the morning. > > There, you happy? Be sure to print this off and include it in Loopybaby’s scrap book. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/124 "2004-12-08T11:32:48Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > Well, I’ve always wondered what burning human flesh smells like, so I’m totally with you on that. To me? It smells like pig roast BBQ with an extra helping of hair. Given how burning human tends to come about in our world, there is also frequently a gas or diesel note, or a whiff of burning plastic as extra-special sauce/ Huh… maybe that qualifies as my TMI? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/125 "2004-12-08T11:46:07Z")
Naw… not nearly TMI enough. OK - well, when having a really bad sneezing allergy attack I sometimes just take my shirt off, sit in the bathroom and sneeze away. When the fit is done, I wipe off the walls and me, then go shower to get the rest of the snot off. ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/126 "2004-12-08T12:07:52Z")
> [@Jackknifed Juggernaut](#): > > Here’s some off the top of my head: > > 1. I was circumcised at age 25. **WINNER!!** ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/127 "2004-12-08T12:13:32Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > My wife and I are trying to get pregnant.The plan is, the wife will go sleep for a while in the other bedroom while I befoul ours, occasionally dashing to the can to void. Once that’s done with, whenever it is, I’m gonna take a shower, go look at internet porn in a last-ditch effort to achieve arousal, and then hopefully boink one past the goalie at what will probably be about three in the morning. > > There, you happy? Nope. That’s embarrassing with you and your spouse. We found out we have to bring in the medical establishment. Takes a little out of the idea of having a child through love and commitment when you have doctors and nurses collecting all sorts of bodily fluids and such from you in plastic containers. But fuck it, we want a child. And for TMI on this? I hate the fact there will be not one, but TWO men playing around with my wife’s vagina. (Yes I know they’re doctors, but they’re still men. I’ll feel weird if I want to.) :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/128 "2004-12-08T14:41:22Z")
My ex knew a kid who masturbated with a cricket. (this might be number 11 in weirdness). ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/129 "2004-12-08T14:49:03Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > My ex knew a kid who masturbated with a cricket. Am I the only one trying to figure out how one would do that? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/130 "2004-12-08T15:12:05Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > Am I the only one trying to figure out how one would do that? :dubious: I’ll never tell! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![pokey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ebca7d/32.png) [@pokey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pokey)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/131 "2004-12-08T15:53:59Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > Am I the only one trying to figure out how one would do that? :dubious: Am I the only one who can totally understand it? ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/132 "2004-12-08T15:54:49Z")
Cricket masturbation? It’s a cinch: First, if you were the kid in question, you’d be developmentally disabled and in a long-term care facility. Then, you’d put a cricket in a jar, place the jar over your…er…area …and let the cricket hop around a lot. Cricket masturbation! ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/133 "2004-12-08T16:03:22Z")
Finally, I get around to something that’s TMI. I have been waiting all day to masturbate, something not helped by the fact that I lust after my organic chem professor. Will commence soon. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/134 "2004-12-08T17:26:34Z")
Y’know, when I read the first post on masturbating with a cricket, I figured it meant taking a live cricket, smushing it to bits, and then using the resulting mess of cricket guts and cricket parts as lube. I figured you’d probably want to remove the legs beforehand though, because they’ve got those little hooks on them which probably wouldn’t feel very pleasant. Glad I was wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/135 "2004-12-08T17:55:46Z")
> [@fetus](#): > > Guess this is God’s way of telling me to spill more guts. I used to be way into DP porn. And I mean _way_ into it. Once I started having sex, though, I began to realize how rough the male participants were on the females in those particular movie clips, and I can’t bring myself to watch stuff like that anymore unless they’re taking a special effort to be considerate, which seems pretty rare. > > I’ve always wanted to try it, but I have enough trouble getting girls to get out of the box even to the extent of having anal sex. Although I haven’t had a relationship of any kind since I realized that I have the “you can put something in mine if I can put something in yours” card at hand. I intend to use it (the aforementioned card, that is) when and where necessary. > > And how _you_ doin? 😉 Oh! Another DP aficionado! Well I think it’s fun to watch, but I have never tried it with two actual guys, but have done it with a guy and a dildo (wow that is the most TMI I have ever written, you have inspired me.) It wasn’t bad at all! I think it could work just fine if you’re gentle. But I do think it woud be really hard to find myself in that scenario, that is, having two guys (who aren’t porn starts) who were willing to do that. I mean, because not many straight guys are comfortable with having their penis and testicles that close to another guy’s. And also, apparently the guy can feel the other guy through the wall between the vagina and the rectum. That might freak some guys out. (Additional TMI: on the aforementioned DP video, that actually have a scene where both guys are in her ass at the same time. I mean, DAMN! I just don’t know how they did that one, that is really over-the-top, and probably not very safe/healthy for the woman!) ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/136 "2004-12-08T17:58:40Z")
> [@duffer](#): > > **WINNER!!** Good eye! ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/137 "2004-12-08T18:22:27Z")
> [@nyctea scandiaca](#): > > Oh! Another DP aficionado! Well I think it’s fun to watch, but I have never tried it with two actual guys, but have done it with a guy and a dildo (wow that is the most TMI I have ever written, you have inspired me.) It wasn’t bad at all! I think it could work just fine if you’re gentle. But I do think it woud be really hard to find myself in that scenario, that is, having two guys (who aren’t porn starts) who were willing to do that. I mean, because not many straight guys are comfortable with having their penis and testicles that close to another guy’s. And also, apparently the guy can feel the other guy through the wall between the vagina and the rectum. That might freak some guys out. > > (Additional TMI: on the aforementioned DP video, that actually have a scene where both guys are in her ass at the same time. I mean, DAMN! I just don’t know how they did that one, that is really over-the-top, and probably not very safe/healthy for the woman!) gawd I luv this place ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/138 "2004-12-08T18:52:02Z")
Another TMI: I’m a red-blooded straight male, and yet I have a really hard time getting and maintaining an erection around women in sexual situations. When I first actually had sex, it took a really long time for me to get an erection, and even then, it wasn’t 100%. When we had intercourse, the woman had really strong pelvic muscles, and her her vagina managed to ‘squeeze’ the erection out of me :smack: Later, I wound up getting a really good erection going when I was spooning with her, but when I gave her a bit of a nudge to suggest some more fun, she was already fast alseep. ☹ However, leave me alone in a room for 5 minutes, and I can get a raging hardon. The same goes for waking up in the morning, long car rides, and waiting on the bus, waiting for my turn to perform in a piano recital (the erection was not part of the act 😉 ). But being naked in front of a naked woman, nothing seems to want to cooperate “WAKE UP DAMN IT!” :mad: ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/139 "2004-12-08T19:05:41Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > But being naked in front of a naked woman, nothing seems to want to cooperate Have you tried a naked man? Perhaps a wild animal? Inanimate object? Zombie? It is a TMI thread 😉 ---
**Author:** ![kittenlm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ce7236/32.png) [@kittenlm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenlm)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/140 "2004-12-08T19:13:06Z")
> [@duffer](#): > > Nope. That’s embarrassing with you and your spouse. We found out we have to bring in the medical establishment. > > Takes a little out of the idea of having a child through love and commitment when you have doctors and nurses collecting all sorts of bodily fluids and such from you in plastic containers. But fuck it, we want a child. > > And for TMI on this? I hate the fact there will be not one, but TWO men playing around with my wife’s vagina. (Yes I know they’re doctors, but they’re still men. I’ll feel weird if I want to.) :dubious: I have to agree here. One month of trying (with _other_ problems or not) is nothing. Wait until you are over one year, or 18 months, or 2 years. Sex becomes VERY scheduled. Every month you have some guy poking and proding you in your nether-regions. Or go through the surgery I just had where they put a camera through my belly button and another one up my whoo-ha to see what’s wrong. After fixing my bi-cornuate problem, I had a balloon / cathedar up my whoo-ha for a frickin’ week so that my uterus could heal. Try having a bag of blood hanging out of your crotch for 5 days. Yep, that’s fun and not at all embarassing. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496.md?page=8)