# Something about you that's TMI. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 7, 2004, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496 "2004-12-07T04:20:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/161 "2004-12-08T22:56:39Z")
> [@pokey](#): > > Well I can’t stop crying. I cry once a day at least. It’s been going on since summer when I broke up for good with the most evil person ever born to woman. And I have not had sex since that time and sometimes when I masturbate I think about cigarettes because I quit smoking about 8 months ago and I guess deep down psychologically it is less painful to miss cigarettes than it is to miss human contact. I’m not even sure. Some kind of wire is crossed. It’s also possible that it’s the smoking I miss and not the evil person. All I know is I will wake up before the alarm all excited about a dream where someone was smoking and I will sort of still be able to smell imaginary cigarette smoke and it’s amazing. I know this guy who looks like Horatio Sanz from SNL, and he smokes, and sometimes I fantasize about fucking him while he smokes, or that he is forcing me to smoke, and sometimes I fantasize that I am forcing someone else to smoke, or else I just fantasize about buying a pack of menthols and taking it to the garbage area, and I can’t even really go on describing that because it gets me really aroused. I think if I could start smoking again, I could stop crying. But the other part thinks that if I start smoking again, then all that crying was for nothing. Complicated. I don’t talk to anyone about it because it’s TMI. Everyone I know is either a non-smoker, or a male, so no one will understand. > > I also have dandruff and I can’t get rid of it no matter what I do. Am I the only one who thinks this is oddly moving, funny, disturbing _and_ beautiful at the same time? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/162 "2004-12-08T23:04:08Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > And yes, it’s possible to get two-in-one. No, it doesn’t hurt. It’s like fisting. You must work your way up slowly. Hey, congratulations! You just made me reevaluate every three-way scenario I’ve participated in as timid, plain-vanilla affairs. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/163 "2004-12-09T00:08:59Z")
Wow. Can I just say how much I love the SDMB? Ok. Confession time. Once I was drunk, at home alone, clad in nothing but a bathrobe, and went to take a piss standing up. I was very relaxed. Very, very relaxed. A gooey turd plopped out and plunged down onto the bathroom rug. Luckily, it didn’t touch the robe on the way down. Nothing like this had ever happened to me, before or since, and it was kind of horrifying–confronted with cleaning one’s own feces, you know. Not fun. That rug received the most thorough cleaning any object I’ve ever owned has ever received. I swore no one would ever know, but now I’m telling you all. :eek: I had sex (really, really good sex) on the shore of Snow Lake (near Paradise) at Mount Rainier National Park. Got caught, too. 😃 Sex with a woman during her period is no big deal. I cannot believe people are squeamish about that. A fluffy towel works well. One has to be careful, though. It seems like semen gives the usual bloody goo an enhanced ability to soak into things. Nevertheless, no biggy. Of course, having to clean hotel sheets and towels in the bathroom after such activities because she is embarrassed about, well, you know…that’s less fun. But I wonder. Hotel staff must need to handle stuff like that all the time. What do they do? ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/164 "2004-12-09T00:26:33Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > It seems like semen gives the usual bloody goo an enhanced ability to soak into things. Nevertheless, no biggy. Of course, having to clean hotel sheets and towels in the bathroom after such activities because she is embarrassed about, well, you know…that’s less fun. But I wonder. Hotel staff must need to handle stuff like that all the time. What do they do? Pray for death? Curse the fact that they didn’t go to college? Reconsider that job at Arby’s? ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/165 "2004-12-09T00:40:02Z")
> [@dearissues](#): > > Or a garbage bag - you can just throw it away. Ya kinda slide around all funny… but it \*can \* be fun! Wouldn’t you stick to the garbage bag like you stick to a vinyl car seat? Because I can’t see that being very sexy… (Not that I thought the Carrie White’s Prom Night look was very sexy, but I guess I’m just uptight.) An ex really wanted (well, really wants… oh well) to try the threesome thing, although I’m not sure where I’d find a guy who wouldn’t mind the other guy around. Personally I just think it would be _distracting_. Maybe I’m simple or something but I get distracted with 69 even - I’d rather just focus on one thing or another. And dosen’t it involve semicomplicated choreography, more “No, turn over… to the left…” than normal sex? I suspect I wouldn’t be able to relax and enjoy it. And I never could get into anal sex. Perhaps if I got really really drunk first. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/166 "2004-12-09T00:46:21Z")
> [@chaoticdonkey](#): > > How DOES one masturbate with a grasshopper? 😕 . . . beats me, but I heard about this kid who masterbated with a cricket. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/167 "2004-12-09T00:50:14Z")
14 guys on one girl? 😕 What do they do, take turns and wait in a line? I was watching a video downloaded from [consumptionjunction.com](http://consumptionjunction.com). The sound didn’t work, and I assumed it was a gang bang contest to see which of 3 women could have sex with the most men in X hours. Most of the guys were just kind of standing around, wearing no pants and beating off until it was their turn. This one guy gets to humping, and they pan the camera to reveal that he is wearing a _garbage bag_ over his head (to conceal his identity, I guess) with a pie-plate smiley face over that 😕 For some reason I was absolutely fascinated by this masked humping man. ---
**Author:** ![DWToml815](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DWToml815](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DWToml815)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/168 "2004-12-09T01:37:55Z")
Okay…I got one…I just watched my exhibitionist neighbors have sex. My wife told me that she went outside to smoke at 5:30 this morning and saw them with the lights on, blinds open, going at it. Well I told her she was seeing something different, and that she was full of shit. I had to apologize to her, cause I saw it and they were definitely doing the deed…with the windows open and the lights on…I mean if they didn’t know someone was watching, why would they wait till they are done, then shut the blinds. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/169 "2004-12-09T01:43:11Z")
> [@wiggumpuppy](#): > > . . . beats me, but I heard about this kid who masterbated with a cricket. Grr, either way. ---
**Author:** ![Okaybear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9fc348/32.png) [@Okaybear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Okaybear)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/170 "2004-12-09T03:30:36Z")
Wow, this is totally weird. My first post in about a year, and it’s on THIS thread. Ok, a couple of TMI’s that haven’t been mentioned yet. 1. I’ve spent 3 weeks as a patient in a psych ward. AND I hid from my doctors in the closet in the room. AND I still regard that as the sanest thing I’ve ever done. 2. I have a third nipple. (I can’t suck it though :D) It’s not a “full-sized” nipple, per se, but a nubbin kind of thing that sits on the underside of my left boob. I used to be totally embarrassed by it, but now I think it’s kind of cute. 3. Speaking of boobs, I’ve named mine. “Butch” is the left one and “Femme” is the right. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/171 "2004-12-09T03:52:04Z")
> [@Anastasaeon](#): > > I can suck my own nipples. > > But I don’t do it unless it’s requested, since it does nothing for me. Unless requested. I hope you’re a female. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/172 "2004-12-09T04:48:44Z")
> [@Okaybear](#): > > 1. I have a third nipple. (I can’t suck it though :D) It’s not a “full-sized” nipple, per se, but a nubbin kind of thing that sits on the underside of my left boob. I used to be totally embarrassed by it, but now I think it’s kind of cute. Whatever you do, _don’t_ get it removed. It may turn out the be the source of all your powers. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/173 "2004-12-09T05:22:46Z")
I can pee standing up. * * * I am SO going to print out this entire thread. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/174 "2004-12-09T13:35:12Z")
Don’t! Incriminating evidence! ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/175 "2004-12-09T13:43:38Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > I can pee standing up. > > * * * Can’t we all?? How 'bout accuracy? TMI, not really much 'cept I got the third nipple thingy too, small but noticeable, and FOOT FUNGUS on my right foots big toe-nail. Yucky. nothing in the sex department except I picked up a girl in a club in Jamaica and she enlisted the help of a third stranger (a guy) for a round of threesome that night in my hotel room.Then the two of us (the girl and me) had unprotected sex for three days straight, I might have a Jamaican child out there some where.She was not on the pill.That was actually my third threesome encounter. ---
**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/176 "2004-12-09T15:26:50Z")
> [@chaoticdonkey](#): > > How DOES one masturbate with a grasshopper? 😕 It’s a secret of the [Shaolin Temple](http://www.imdb.com/gallery/hh/0672673/grasshopbig72dpi.jpg)… ---
**Author:** ![Cerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@Cerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerri)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/177 "2004-12-09T15:44:30Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > Two guys is pretty damn fun. Yes. Yes it is. It’s even more fun if you add a second girl to the mix. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/178 "2004-12-09T16:55:29Z")
> [@chaoticdonkey](#): > > Grr, either way. I believe **wiggumpuppy** was poking fun at you, since your question was asked and answered on page 3. ---
**Author:** ![Iceland\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@Iceland\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iceland_Blue)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/179 "2004-12-09T17:38:11Z")
I can safely declare my fetish for boils,pimples and zits.I feel that to be much healthier than my crush on Holly Wells. I nominate this thread for Thread of the Year 😃 ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496/180 "2004-12-09T18:35:10Z")
> [@](#): > > **Cerri** said: > Yes. Yes it is. It’s even more fun if you add a second girl to the mix. Haven’t found that to be true. I have found that having another girl there is a turn off for me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-about-you-thats-tmi/278496.md?page=10)