# Something creepy happened to my daugther at Target today **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 22, 2004, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-creepy-happened-to-my-daugther-at-target-today/281221 "2004-12-22T21:14:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-creepy-happened-to-my-daugther-at-target-today/281221/41 "2004-12-23T21:19:06Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > What?! How do you get someone’s attention when you want to tell them that their glove has fallen out of their pocket, and “Excuse me, ma’am” has failed? Two days in a row people have dropped things and I’ve picked them up (a shoe and a hat). I just said scuse me while trying to get in front of them. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-creepy-happened-to-my-daugther-at-target-today/281221/42 "2004-12-23T21:47:15Z")
Okay, not to excuse the creep’s behavior in any way, shape or form, but, **Ivylass** , is it possible that the creep didn’t realize how young _Ivygirl_ is? I repeat, even if she were 30, him patting her ass is inexcusable, but not as perverted as if he knew she was only 12. I ask because my middle daughter is 13, and she gets hit on by older guys all the time, who totally don’t realize how young she is! She looks at them gravely, and says “Excuse me, but did you know I’m 13?” and they run far, far away. She does carry pepper spray, though. ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-creepy-happened-to-my-daugther-at-target-today/281221/43 "2004-12-23T22:38:53Z")
My littlest sister is already smoking hot. The waist length red hair and blue eyes on top of her current development draw a lot of attention. And the guys who notice can escape death by having the appropriate reaction when they learn she’s 14. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-creepy-happened-to-my-daugther-at-target-today/281221/44 "2004-12-24T15:26:29Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > Okay, not to excuse the creep’s behavior in any way, shape or form, but, **Ivylass** , is it possible that the creep didn’t realize how young _Ivygirl_ is? I repeat, even if she were 30, him patting her ass is inexcusable, but not as perverted as if he knew she was only 12. I ask because my middle daughter is 13, and she gets hit on by older guys all the time, who totally don’t realize how young she is! She looks at them gravely, and says “Excuse me, but did you know I’m 13?” and they run far, far away. > > She does carry pepper spray, though. She is getting a bit developed on top, but not _that_ much. There’s no way anyone would confuse her for an 18 or 19 year old. 13 or 14 maybe. ---
**Author:** ![Iceland\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@Iceland\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iceland_Blue)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-creepy-happened-to-my-daugther-at-target-today/281221/45 "2004-12-24T15:48:20Z")
Not wishing to create a mob chasing after me,but am I the only one who can’t see any problem here?Either it was unintentional and the guy just wanted to get through-he may not even have realize he upset her as he went past(I speak from experience…) or it was intentional.If it was and she’s happy with it,no problem.If she’s not,then all she has to do is say. I’d only get annoyed if she’d already said no and told him to go away and he kept pestering her. YMMV ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-creepy-happened-to-my-daugther-at-target-today/281221/46 "2004-12-24T17:56:22Z")
> [@Iceland\_Blue](#): > > Not wishing to create a mob chasing after me,but am I the only one who can’t see any problem here?Either it was unintentional and the guy just wanted to get through-he may not even have realize he upset her as he went past(I speak from experience…) or it was intentional.If it was and she’s happy with it,no problem.If she’s not,then all she has to do is say. > I’d only get annoyed if she’d already said no and told him to go away and he kept pestering her. > > YMMV Well, the further description her mother got from her tends to make it look as if it was intentional… and as for the “problem” is it was _uninvited_, and in the society in which it happened men just DO NOT go up to and touch the asses of 12-year-old strangers. Heck we do not just go up to and touch the asses of anyone above [insert appropriate legal age for your state] unless they are _already_ on friendly terms with us. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-creepy-happened-to-my-daugther-at-target-today/281221/47 "2004-12-24T18:33:06Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > What?! How do you get someone’s attention when you want to tell them that their glove has fallen out of their pocket, and “Excuse me, ma’am” has failed? Very easily. Unless you are a mute person ( and, okay fine, all of the mute Dopers - feel free to flame the hell out of me over in the Pit, ok?? ) you raise your voice incredibly loudly and say, " Excuse me, ma’am, you’ve dropped your gloves ! " It works. A few days ago, I found a woman’s wallet in the Post Office. Yelling out " Anyone lose a wallet in here? " brought the desired results. A woman walked up, I said, ( not being a complete moron ) "What’s your name? ", and since her name matched the ID I had seen, I handed it over. What I did not do is grab her buttocks and say, " Hey hot stuff, this wallet yours? " I know, **Matt** , I know- you’re not adovcating anything of the sort. But you see my point, yes? One uses one’s voice. Not one’s hands. I see a person walking in front of a bus, talking on their cel phone? You betcherass I grab them as hard as I can. There’s polite, politically correct, and then there’s urgency. A dropped pair of gloves doesn’t equal touching a stranger in my book. YMMV. 🙂 Besides, were you to be an adult, touching an adult’s arm to try to gain their attentions, they might or might not become enraged- rightfully so- that you touched them at all. Even to return said black leather gloves lined with real rabbit fur. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-creepy-happened-to-my-daugther-at-target-today/281221/48 "2004-12-24T18:50:30Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > MHO: The Salvation Army needs to look at its methodology. Many times I’ve been tempted to pay the bellringer $20 just to stop ringing while I’m walking to and from the store. Sounds like it’s working just fine to me. ---
**Author:** ![Iceland\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@Iceland\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iceland_Blue)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-creepy-happened-to-my-daugther-at-target-today/281221/49 "2004-12-24T19:28:38Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > Well, the further description her mother got from her tends to make it look as if it was intentional… and as for the “problem” is it was _uninvited_, and in the society in which it happened men just DO NOT go up to and touch the asses of 12-year-old strangers. Heck we do not just go up to and touch the asses of anyone above [insert appropriate legal age for your state] unless they are _already_ on friendly terms with us. I see the point you’re making.As with some of the other posters descriptions of touching people,I’ve sat down next to people and they’ve complained later than I’ve been too close or they didn’t want me putting my hands on their shoulders when I have to get past. People who know me now know that if I might not realize-if you’re unhappy with it,say and I’ll shift.If not,then I know that you’re OK with me there(even if I’m perched on your lap).Then we all know where we are. Could it have been a mistaken identity-he thought she was someone he knew and then realized she wasn’t when it was too late and panicked as to what to do? ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-creepy-happened-to-my-daugther-at-target-today/281221/50 "2004-12-24T21:47:38Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > A dropped pair of gloves doesn’t equal touching a stranger in my book. YMMV. 🙂 Besides, were you to be an adult, touching an adult’s arm to try to gain their attentions, they might or might not become enraged- rightfully so- that you touched them at all. Even to return said black leather gloves lined with real rabbit fur. I have to say, I’ve never seen that kind of a reaction to an attention-eliciting tap on the shoulder. Besides, there are some public places (such as the metro) where you don’t want to be bellowing at people. ---
**Author:** ![Chotii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@Chotii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chotii)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-creepy-happened-to-my-daugther-at-target-today/281221/51 "2004-12-25T00:53:32Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > Now, as to public contact? I gotta tell ya, touching a shoulder is **totally unacceptable**. Unless I saw a young woman, or woman of any age at all in physical danger and unaware, I would never ever touch them. Not shoulder, arm, nothing. It is out of line now, to me it has always been out of line. Oddly enough, I have taught my children very specifically that if they must get someone’s attention, they may touch an arm or a shoulder. Nothing else. Of course, being children, they may not realistically be able to get an adult’s attention without touching them - after all, to many adults, children are invisible. But I would rather touch an arm or shoulder than yell loud enough to not only get the attention of the person I want, but everyone else within earshot. And I have never had anyone be upset with me for a touch on arm or shoulder when I had a good reason - as they immediately saw I did. Rather, they have been glad, and grateful. I understand your position, and respect it. But I teach my children differently: if you must touch a stranger, _only_ arm or shoulder are acceptable, and you must always have a reason they will understand immediately. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/something-creepy-happened-to-my-daugther-at-target-today/281221.md?page=2)