# Somewhat abusive PM

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhat-abusive-pm/527662>\
**Category:** About This Message Board\
**Created:** [February 4, 2010, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhat-abusive-pm/527662 "2010-02-04T10:42:11Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 8

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**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\
**Post date:** [February 5, 2010, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhat-abusive-pm/527662/8 "2010-02-05T17:41:21Z")

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> [@TubaDiva](#):
>
> Please do not publish this PM on the board – send it to us.
> 
> Send it to me.

and

> [@TubaDiva](#):
>
> Not at all, we’d just prefer not to air this sort of thing on the board.
> 
> I don’t think anything is gained by making it public. If it’s concerning send it to the staff, let us investigate.

Both of those posts, when made by someone with the word Administrator under her name, serve as little more than directives. It sounds like an order.

And yet we spent a multi-page thread not long ago coming to the conclusion that Private Messages need not be kept private, and that if the recipient chooses to share them with the Boards, then that is his or her right.

In that very thread you yourself said:

> [@twickster, what part of "private" don't you understand?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/twickster-what-part-of-private-dont-you-understand/510330/122):
>
> Please see here: [Private messages are not necessarily confidential](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=532910)

And yet now you are asking the OP not to make it public, and are putting the Board’s administrative weight behind a request to keep it private. I think that’s completely inappropriate.

All you need to say in response to the OP is something like this:

> [@](#):
>
> Private messages are subject to the same rules about not being a jerk as the rest of the board. If you would like someone to look at this PM in an official capacity, you are welcome to forward it to me or one of the other Admins or Moderators.

Why make a point of effectively prohibiting, in this case, something that the whole board (including you) has recently determined is not, in fact, prohibited?

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