# Somewhere there must be a worst actress **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 11, 2008, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773 "2008-12-11T21:49:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/21 "2008-12-11T23:14:21Z")
> [@Tortuga](#): > > Andie MacDowell. So. wooden. I never understood why she would be cast as a love interest in these great comedies and then she would be in there, dully, like something brown and sticky. There you have it. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/22 "2008-12-11T23:16:00Z")
Demi Moore? ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/23 "2008-12-11T23:17:43Z")
> [@Morbo](#): > > How about Jessica Alba? Listed in the first response to the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/24 "2008-12-11T23:18:50Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > Listed in the first response to the OP. I hate that. When it happens to me. ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/25 "2008-12-11T23:20:20Z")
> [@Tortuga](#): > > Andie MacDowell. So. wooden. I never understood why she would be cast as a love interest in these great comedies and then she would be in there, dully, like something brown and sticky. Ooh I forgot about her. I once read that “Andie McDowell couldn’t act like she was falling if you shoved her off a cliff”. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/26 "2008-12-11T23:21:19Z")
> [@Morbo](#): > > I hate that. When it happens to me. Andie?! ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/27 "2008-12-11T23:22:51Z")
> [@Morbo](#): > > I hate that. When it happens to me. The news monster hates something. How surprising. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![LVBoPeep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/858c86/32.png) [@LVBoPeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LVBoPeep)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/28 "2008-12-11T23:38:09Z")
I thought Naomi Watts was good in_The Painted Veil_, but agree with Sofia Coppola (RUINED Godfather III, and it was already in trouble) and Demi Moore. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/29 "2008-12-11T23:44:02Z")
Andie MacDowell is so freaking bad that they had to dub her every line in [Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087365/fullcredits#cast) with Glenn Close’s voice. Can’t. Stand. That. Woman. I also second Melanie Griffith. ::shudder:: ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/30 "2008-12-11T23:47:45Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > Melanie Griffith. Absolutely appalling. Even worse than her mother. Seconded. Horrible. _HORRIBLE!!!_ ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/31 "2008-12-11T23:48:49Z")
Rebecca Pidgeon Game.Set.Match. ---
**Author:** ![Interrobang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/interrobang/32/17463_2.png) [@Interrobang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interrobang)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/32 "2008-12-12T00:49:12Z")
Melanie Griffith has done at least one great performance: Lulu/Audrey in _Something Wild_. Jessica Alba and Andie MacDowell, on the other hand … ugh. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/33 "2008-12-12T00:51:33Z")
Nope, Andie Dowell-Rod is it - what could be more wooden than that? Ruined two otherwise excellent moves, **Green Card** and **Four Weddings and a Funeral**. I’ve said this here before, but when I’ve made my first billion I’m blowing half of it on remaking those two movies identically as they were except with Julia Roberts, as The Universe intended. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/34 "2008-12-12T00:56:17Z")
I watched Vfor Vendetta recently. I can honestly say that I’ve never seen a more wooden performance than Natalie Portman gave. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/35 "2008-12-12T01:00:20Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > Rebecca Pidgeon > > Game.Set.Match. Game, set, match, tournament, entire history of sport. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/36 "2008-12-12T01:02:06Z")
> [@Interrobang](#): > > Melanie Griffith has done at least one great performance: Lulu/Audrey in _Something Wild_. > > Jessica Alba and Andie MacDowell, on the other hand … ugh. Melanie Griffith has more raw talent as an actress than 98% of the actresses working today. She just has an obnoxious personality IRL and chooses mostly bad roles. When she’s good, though, she’s great. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/37 "2008-12-12T01:03:20Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Demi Moore? It is hard to tell because she picks terrible movies to do. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/38 "2008-12-12T01:10:35Z")
> [@5-HT](#): > > Michelle Rodriguez. She’s the only actor ever to cause me to abandon a TV series. Okay, I would have stopped watching Lost anyway, but she’s like knives on a chalkboard. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/39 "2008-12-12T01:13:18Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > I watched Vfor Vendetta recently. I can honestly say that I’ve never seen a more wooden performance than Natalie Portman gave. To be honest, she’s always acted that way. Which was good when portraying an emotionnaly disconnected orphan tagging along her hitman buddy, but less so when portraying a PTSD trainwreck tagging along her anarchist buddy 😕 I nominate Keira “Parted Lips” Knightley. I swear to Og you could scour the intertubes for days without finding a single picture or movie screencap of hers with her mouth firmly shut. It’s equal parts skeevy and creepy. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/40 "2008-12-12T01:40:26Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > I nominate Keira “Parted Lips” Knightley. I swear to Og you could scour the intertubes for days without finding a single picture or movie screencap of hers with her mouth firmly shut. It’s equal parts skeevy and creepy. Yes, she has a strange look, but I think she’s a better actor than many in this thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773.md?page=3)