# Somewhere there must be a worst actress **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 11, 2008, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773 "2008-12-11T21:49:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/41 "2008-12-12T01:45:51Z")
Shannon Doherty. Not hot, not talented and ill-tempered. The suckiness trifecta. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/42 "2008-12-12T01:48:36Z")
i really like Andie MacDowell. Oh, c’mon, wassname, used to married to Charlie Sheen, was in Starship Troopers & one of the Brosnan Bond films. BAD. ---
**Author:** ![Minnie\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Minnie\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minnie_Luna)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/43 "2008-12-12T02:03:36Z")
**foolsguinea** Denise Richards How dare they cast her as a physicist in _The World is Not Enough_. Real physicists have shits smarter than her. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/44 "2008-12-12T02:07:56Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > Melanie Griffith has more raw talent as an actress than 98% of the actresses working today. She just has an obnoxious personality IRL and chooses mostly bad roles. When she’s good, though, she’s great. Just saw her in Cherry 2000 and she gave her lines like a gum-snapping hairdresser reading the day’s schedule. No expression, no attempt WHATSOEVER to be anything like her character, a badass in a post-apocalyptic desert. Okay, a bad choice of roles, but a girl needs to eat and there are only so many roles for gum-snapping hairdressers who lack any acting range. Oh, BTW, that preposterous 98% claim might explain why so many people Pit you. Crank it down a notch and you’ll have less trouble like that. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/45 "2008-12-12T02:33:34Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > Rebecca Pidgeon I came in to say her. You win. Rebecca Pidgeon is not just the worst actress in movie history (counting only actresses who’ve appeared in a reasonable number of actual movies) she’s FAR AND AWAY the worst. Andie MacDowell is ten times the actress Rebecca Pidgeon is. Jessica Alba is twenty times better. Rebecca Pidgeon is a much, much worse actress than Vivica Fox. Melanie Griffith is like Bette Davis if you compare her to Rebecca Pidgeon. Next to Rebecca Pidgeon, Michelle Rodriguez is an actress of unlimited range. Sofia Coppola was pathetically bad, but Rebeca Pidgeon is worse. I know it’s hard to believe. It’s true. Let me put it to you this way; **Rebecca Pidgeon is a worse actress than Madonna**. Not just a little worse, but a LOT worse. Not-even-close worse. Madonna, an actress of legitimately excruciating awfulness, is closer in acting talent to Kate Winslet than she is to Rebecca Pidgeon. Rebecca Pidgeon is as bad as actors can get. It’s not possible, under the physical rules that govern this universe, to be worse. She’s a worse actor than people who aren’t even really actors but who got into movies anyway, like Brian Bosworth or Dennis Rodman. She’s a worse actor than anyone, ever, in anything. In fact, Rebecca Pidgeon might not just be the worst actor ever; she might be the worst person ever in any job. She’s a worse actress than Joe Hazelwood was a sea captain. Go ahead. Rent her movies, if you dare. Halfway through “Heist” you’ll want to kill either her or yourself. “The Spanish Prisoner” is a decent flick when she’s not on screen and later waterboarding when she is. I dare you to try watching all her films. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/46 "2008-12-12T02:39:20Z")
I’ll see your Andie McDowell and raise you a Mary Steenburgen. Hell, they might be the same person. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/47 "2008-12-12T02:55:34Z")
> [@Tortuga](#): > > …and then she would be in there, dully, like something brown and sticky. A stick? > [@Antinor01](#): > > I don’t know if she is the worst, but Zooey Deschanel has consistently underwhelmed me. Her hotness makes up for it, though. ---
**Author:** ![vison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e47774/32.png) [@vison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vison)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/48 "2008-12-12T03:11:23Z")
So, **RickJay** , you think Rebecca Pidgeon isn’t, you know, a very good actress? That seems to be what you implied. You ought to be more assertive, a person could tell what you think if you were more assertive. There is, after all, no harm in expressing your opinion on the internet - we shall never know who RickJay is and therefore we will not be able to, you know, point out in person how your diffidence impairs the sense of your posts. Rebecca Pidgeon, eh? Where did she do her best work, RickJay, in your opinion? ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/49 "2008-12-12T03:41:36Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Rebecca Pidgeon is as bad as actors can get. It’s not possible, under the physical rules that govern this universe, to be worse…In fact, Rebecca Pidgeon might not just be the worst actor ever; she might be the worst person ever in any job. I take it you’re not a big fan of her [recording career](http://www.musicaldiscoveries.com/reviews/rpidgeon.htm) either. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/50 "2008-12-12T03:46:06Z")
Who the heck is Rebecca Pidgeon? ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/51 "2008-12-12T03:49:59Z")
The irony is that **RickJay** always reminds me of [Ricky Jay](http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0419633/), an actor (and magician) who has nine joint appearances with Rebecca Pidgeon. (Both appear frequently in David Mamet projects.) ---
**Author:** ![vison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e47774/32.png) [@vison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vison)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/52 "2008-12-12T04:01:47Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > The irony is that **RickJay** always reminds me of [Ricky Jay](http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0419633/), an actor (and magician) who has nine joint appearances with Rebecca Pidgeon. (Both appear frequently in David Mamet projects.) _woo woo woo woo Twilight Zone music_ What if RickJay IS Ricky Jay? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/53 "2008-12-12T04:05:41Z")
That would be very cool, because Ricky Jay is a freakin’ awesome magician, and has been in cool movies like _Mystery Men_ in addition to his work with Mamet; but also kinda sad to speak so ill of someone he’s worked closely with. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/54 "2008-12-12T04:08:21Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Rebecca Pidgeon is not just the worst actress in movie history (counting only actresses who’ve appeared in a reasonable number of actual movies) she’s FAR AND AWAY the worst. Andie MacDowell is ten times the actress Rebecca Pidgeon is. Jessica Alba is twenty times better. Rebecca Pidgeon is a much, much worse actress than Vivica Fox. Melanie Griffith is like Bette Davis if you compare her to Rebecca Pidgeon. Next to Rebecca Pidgeon, Michelle Rodriguez is an actress of unlimited range. Sofia Coppola was pathetically bad, but Rebeca Pidgeon is worse. I know it’s hard to believe. It’s true. It’s not true. Almost all of her appearances have been in David Mamet movies. Mamet insists on a kind of stilted, stylized affect from some of his actors, so you’re seeing her do as she’s told. She showed more naturalism in her small part on The Shield. Enough, at any rate, to indicate that her Mamet-style performances were a creative choice, not a limitation. ---
**Author:** ![Apocalypso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Apocalypso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apocalypso)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/55 "2008-12-12T04:19:34Z")
Adding another vote for Andie MacDowell. There’s probably worse out there, but she’s been in a LOT of movies, and was horribly bad in all of them, so I suspect she’ll win. I liked Multiplicity, Groundhog day, and a few other movies she’s been in, but in spite of her “acting”, not because of it. And she’s not even that hot, so you can’t even go “yeah but at least she’s really hot”. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/56 "2008-12-12T04:37:14Z")
Interrupting the Andie hate for just a moment, to commit a bit of heresy: I nominate . . . **Audrey Tautou**. I dislike two things intensely: (1) that smirking elfin mug of hers, and (2) her atrocious acting whenever the role calls for anything other than a smirking elf. I noticed that in _A Very Long Engagement_, scenes that called for her to express sadness or despair were all accomplished by her _wailing offscreen_. (OK, one scene that I remember, but I found it noteable.) ---
**Author:** ![GilaB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@GilaB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GilaB)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/57 "2008-12-12T04:42:36Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > It’s not true. > > Almost all of her appearances have been in David Mamet movies. Mamet insists on a kind of stilted, stylized affect from some of his actors, so you’re seeing her do as she’s told. She showed more naturalism in her small part on The Shield. Enough, at any rate, to indicate that her Mamet-style performances were a creative choice, not a limitation. There’s a reason she’s in so many Mamet movies - she’s his wife. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/58 "2008-12-12T04:47:36Z")
All I know is that Steven Soderbergh must be a great director. He’s gotten great performances out of Andie MacDowell, Jennifer Lopez, and Julia Roberts. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/59 "2008-12-12T04:48:25Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > Almost all of her appearances have been in David Mamet movies. Mamet insists on a kind of stilted, stylized affect from some of his actors, so you’re seeing her do as she’s told. She showed more naturalism in her small part on The Shield. Enough, at any rate, to indicate that her Mamet-style performances were a creative choice, not a limitation. I wish I could believe you. The problem with that theory is that _there were other actors in those movies, too._ And she was a child among adults, an ant among elephants. Watching Rebecca Pidgeon act with Gene Hackman was like having to listen to a duet between Aretha Franklin and William Hung. Actually, that understates the case; William was funny, at least. Even given the particular feel of a David Mamet film, none of the thespians who shared the screen with her were less than one trillion times better. And of course, she’s been in lots of things not directed by David Mamet. Even in small roles, she’s terrible. You don’t even necessarily notice it’s her right away - her looks are pretty generic - but then she begins trying to act, and you know you’re being Pidgeoned. And no, I’m not Ricky Jay. I’m David Mamet!\* - = This is, technically, a lie. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773/60 "2008-12-12T05:07:14Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > Oh, BTW, that preposterous 98% claim might explain why so many people Pit you. Crank it down a notch and you’ll have less trouble like that. If he asked for advice, I’m sure you would have been (somewhat) justified in taking a Cafe Society personal. But he didn’t and you weren’t, so please remember that Cafe Society is meant for the discussion at-hand, and not for what you feel are others’ shortcomings. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/somewhere-there-must-be-a-worst-actress/476773.md?page=4)