# Son of Sarcastic Answers to Simple Questions **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 8, 2005, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/son-of-sarcastic-answers-to-simple-questions/334784 "2005-12-08T23:20:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![KlondikeGeoff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3e96dc/32.png) [@KlondikeGeoff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KlondikeGeoff)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/son-of-sarcastic-answers-to-simple-questions/334784/21 "2005-12-10T01:35:39Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > \*\* > **The price of Gas at the pump: Good that its going down?** > > Let me give you a general answer on this one - whenever you ask if it’s good something is going down, and it isn’t a ship or plane, the answer is yes. You guys are hilarious, been laughing my way all through this thread. However, to the above, among the exceptions are…“if it isn’t a ship or plane **or a penis** …” ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/son-of-sarcastic-answers-to-simple-questions/334784/22 "2005-12-10T01:54:46Z")
**How come no-one has thought of this?** A bit presumptuous, aren’t we? **How is this possible?** I’m just that good. **What happens to pumpkins after Thanksgiving?** They start shopping for Christmas presents. Duh. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/son-of-sarcastic-answers-to-simple-questions/334784/23 "2005-12-10T02:09:50Z")
OK, just a few more. **World’s warmest, coziest slippers?** LL Bean just introduced a new model that I like. They’re lined with live kittens. **Women, do you like testicles?** Wow, with pickup lines like that I bet you _never_ go home alone. **I won a mystery auction on eBay, should I be worried about terrorists?** No, you should be worried about your sanity. **What should out of towners see in Philly?** A travel agent who can recommend a city that’s actually worth visiting. ---
**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/son-of-sarcastic-answers-to-simple-questions/334784/24 "2005-12-10T02:31:10Z")
\*\*Magnesium chloride – downside? \*\* Okay, place it on a level surface with the “THIS END UP” visible on top. The down side is on the bottom. **Can a dentist kill with novocaine?** Yeah, but they usually get tried for murder afterwards. **How do I find out if she’s a gold digger?** Does she - have an assortment of shallow pans around the house? - constantly complain about ‘them durn claim jumpers!’ ? - own a sluice box? **How/where do butch women get their hair cut?** Usually some distance from the skin, often short. How? Usually some sort of sharpened metal device. **Can we agree on what “Homophobia” means?** [4-page thread] Apparently not. **How much did Princess Leia know?** Wanna find out, just threaten to kill a planet. She’ll spill her guts. ---
**Author:** ![chrisk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@chrisk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chrisk)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/son-of-sarcastic-answers-to-simple-questions/334784/25 "2005-12-10T13:29:30Z")
**How did my cell phone manage this trick?** I guess the person who had it before you figured out what to feed a cell phone as a reward!! **Where did the names for the low US enlisted ranks come from?** Probably somewhere in Massachussets or Essex. **Would a flare gun shot in the mouth be fatal?** Darnit… just when you REALLY NEED Ashton Kutcher for an experiment, he’s nowhere to be found. **Learn Powerpoint?** Maybe… but first learn a little grammar. ---
**Author:** ![call911mfc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@call911mfc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/call911mfc)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/son-of-sarcastic-answers-to-simple-questions/334784/26 "2005-12-10T14:08:52Z")
**How do we address wrongs of the past?** Mr. and Mrs. Wrong, may they rest in peace _or_ Mr. and Mrs. Wrong, deceased ok, ok…I know it’s bad, but it’s 9 am on a Saturday morning and I only got 4 hours of sleep and I’m bored/tired… ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/son-of-sarcastic-answers-to-simple-questions/334784/27 "2005-12-10T15:29:54Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > **The price of Gas at the pump: Good that its going down?** > > Let me give you a general answer on this one - whenever you ask if it’s good something is going down, and it isn’t a ship or plane, the answer is yes. Well, let’s make a further exception for Michael Jackson. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Loopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loopus/32/15343_2.png) [@Loopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopus)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/son-of-sarcastic-answers-to-simple-questions/334784/28 "2005-12-10T19:28:15Z")
**Chess question: Why not get a new Queen?** You should have taken better care of the old one! \*\*Returning Christmas presents \*\* Send them to 1 North Pole Ave, North Pole. ATTN: Elf Return Desk \*\*How did my cell phone manage this trick? \*\* It had the card hidden up its sleeve. **Risks of sex tourism in Thailand** Um… STDs? **Do the phones in baseball parks receive calls?** Hello, Joe Torre? Is your refrigerator running? ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/son-of-sarcastic-answers-to-simple-questions/334784/29 "2005-12-13T18:43:40Z")
**Lung embolism - why fatal?** Breathing is necessary to sustain life. **Why can’t we hear ourselves snore?** The same reason we can’t watch ourselves snore. **How to defend against a mace, or a ball-and-chain?** Small arms fire. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/son-of-sarcastic-answers-to-simple-questions/334784.md?page=1)