# Song Paradies: Does your household have 'em? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 30, 2002, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559 "2002-05-30T16:02:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2002, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/1 "2002-05-30T16:02:56Z")
We do this at home _all_ the time. It’s probably because our family belongs on The WB and not in Brooklyn— No one can sing in my house without somebody butting in with stupid, made-up lyrics. Here’s one my daughter made up when she was in the 4th grade. The original lyrics to the kiddie song went something like this: > [@](#): > > \*If all the raindrops were candy canes and gum drops > Oh how happy we would beeeeee - My daughter’s version: > [@](#): > > \*If all the raindrops were razor blades and gunshots > Oh how bloody it would beeeeee - She’s got a lotta nerve, considering the love she developed for Britny and Nsync. Here’s one I love to sing really loudly while Nsync is playing. > [@](#): > > \*I’m goin’ to the loo > I really got to poo > And I’m not lyin’ > Crap’s got me cryin’ > > When finally > I take a seat, guess what > it’s only pee-pee - One for **Houseman** who likes to make believe he’s above the insanity, but I caught him singing to our son > [@](#): > > \*Don’t you know that you are a stupid star. . . - So please, reassure me that my family and I won’t be the only ones at the therapist’s office and post your own made up song paradies. Please! ---
**Author:** ![dragongirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b38774/32.png) [@dragongirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragongirl)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2002, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/2 "2002-05-30T16:51:10Z")
Yep, we got 'em. To the tune of “I want it that Way” By the Backstreet Boys" > [@](#): > > Tell me why > Wasn’t nothing but the pork and beans > Tell me why > Just a little bit of broccoli > Tell me why > I don’t ever want to hear you say > I farted yesterday See, this is what a nine year old boy can do. ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2002, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/3 "2002-05-30T16:55:33Z")
This one’s been forming slowly in my head for a couple’a days now… Who’s the black Jedi Knight with a purple sword of light? _MACE!_ You damn right! Who’s the badass Jedi Master who’ll save us from disaster? _MACE!_ Can ya dig it? This Jedi won’t cop out when there’s danger all about. _MACE!_ Right on! That Mace Windu is one bad mutha– _Shut yo mouth!_ I’m just talkin’ 'bout Mace! _We can dig it!_ He’s a complicated man but no one understands him like Yoda… _Mace Windu!_ ---
**Author:** ![lauramarlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a5b964/32.png) [@lauramarlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lauramarlane)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2002, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/4 "2002-05-30T17:14:43Z")
Our version of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer: Rudolph the red haired reindeer had a very bad dye job. And if you ever saw it You’d say he should get his money back. All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names (like Bozo the clown) they never let poor Rudolph play in any reindeer games (like strip poker) Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say, “Rudolph with your hair so bright, won’t you get it cut tonight” Then all the reindeer loved him and they shouted out with glee, “Rudolph the red haired reindeer you should sell hair products on QVC!” Yeah, we’re a sick bunch. ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2002, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/5 "2002-05-30T18:07:49Z")
Any song is rendered instantly hilarious by replacing “you” with “Lou” (our cat’s name is Lou) and changing many random words to “kitten.” Really. Try it some time. "Lou never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your kittens, There’s no tenderness like before in your kitten-tips. Lou’s trying hard not to show it (_Kitten_ . . .) but Louie, Louie I know it! Lou’s lost that kitten feeling! Who-oh, that kitten feeling! Lou lost that kitten feeling now it’s gone, gone, gone. . . " I’m sure the cat wonders why all the songs on the radio are about her. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2002, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/6 "2002-05-30T18:10:20Z")
To the tune of “All-Star” by Smashmouth: Hey now, you’re an asshole pack your shit up go away ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2002, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/7 "2002-05-30T21:11:10Z")
Mr. Kat sings “It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine…” as “It’s the end of the world, have a donut, jelly-filled.” ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/8 "2002-05-31T02:35:31Z")
Well, there was a time a couple of years ago when I would start off the chorus to Led Zeppelin’s “Over the Hills and Far Away” as: > [@](#): > > “Many have I mooned…” Of course, the chorus really starts out with: > [@](#): > > “Many have I loved…” My brother likes to add or substitute the word “booty” in many of the songs he sings that come on the radio. That, or he’ll go off on some tangent about how farts smell stinky, or something. Keep in mind, he’s **20** years old! _sigh_ F\_X ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/9 "2002-05-31T06:29:08Z")
For Supergrass’s “Alright”, just substitute every line with: _We have teeth, we have teeth, we have teeth, we have teeth…_ ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/10 "2002-05-31T08:29:16Z")
Here are a couple of parodies I wrote in about 1972 when I was in college (I was 30, but I got a late start). CRAM-A-LOT (Sung to the tune of “Camelot”) You’ve been attending classes since September, But studies occupied the second slot. Important notes from class you can’t remember, So you Cram-a-lot. You slept in class right up until the bell rang, And friends said “here” for you when you were not. But friends won’t study for you, such a swell gang, So you Cram-a-lot. Cram-a-lot, Cram-a-lot, Till you can pass the test, and then… If you Cram-a-lot, Cram-a-lot, You’ll do it all again. If your teeth ever had a skin upon them, By summer they assuredly will not. If you resolve today, To study hard, _then_ play, By next term’s finals week you will not have to Cram-a-lot! * * * CRAM (Sung to the tune of “Mame”) Exam week’s here and what do you do? Cram! You missed class notes because of the “flu,” Cram! You’ve been pro-cras-ti-nating, And putting off your study till the last. Now your heart’s pal-pi-tating, ‘Cause Western Civ’s tomorrow, and you’re gassed! The loss of sleep is making you sick. Cram! If you pass this time, it’s a good trick. Cram! It’s just like last semester, Ac-ti-vi-ties kept getting in the way. If you get through it this time you’ll Work hard next term and breeze right through. But now you must continue to CRAM! * * * I probably spent more time on stuff like this than I did studying. ---
**Author:** ![nineiron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e56c9b/32.png) [@nineiron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nineiron)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/11 "2002-05-31T10:37:26Z")
Ours are generally fragments of songs, not entire songs. For example: “The Underpants Song.” This basically consists of the word “Underpants” being sung to the tune of “Hooray for Hollywood,” with filler syllables in between: “Underpants! Da-da-da-da-da-da-da…Underpants!” Repeat as needed. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/12 "2002-05-31T10:47:34Z")
For some reason, Kylie videos seem to inspire parodic reactions from the spouse and myself. Hence: _Spinning Around_: “Hey! Look at my butt! It’s hanging out! I shrunk my shorts down at the laun-dro-mat…” and _Can’t Get You Out of My Head_: “Well I just keep falling out of my clothes But it means that my sales keep going up…” ---
**Author:** ![Merlot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3e96dc/32.png) [@Merlot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merlot)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/13 "2002-05-31T15:56:09Z")
My _lewd_ husband likes to modify Christmas tunes… \*\*Giddy-yap giddy-yap giddy-yap it’s grand \*\* **Just holding your _gland_** among many other. Needless to say, a holiday season does not conclude without a beverage coming out of my nose and/or a need for the Heimlich maneuver. ---
**Author:** ![Politzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3ab097/32.png) [@Politzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Politzania)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/14 "2002-05-31T16:04:22Z")
Most parodies revolve around the Spooner-dog… SmashMouth - All Star \*\* Hey now, you’re a pup-dog Out in the yard - you play! Hey now, you’re a pup-dog Don’t do nothin’ all day All that glitters is fuzz…\*\* “Skip to My Lou” **Raggy bone, raggy bone, ball ball ball! Raggy bone, raggy bone, ball ball ball! Raggy bone, raggy bone, ball ball ball! Driving the Spooner crazy…** That or changing lyrics to R or X rated versions… nothing comes (heh) to mind at the moment… ---
**Author:** ![booklover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@booklover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/booklover)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/15 "2002-05-31T16:18:18Z")
This is not household specific, but “Pomp and Circumstance” always results in the following: My reindeer flies sideways, Your reindeer flies upside down (there are more verses here I can’t remember) My reindeer is lilac, Yours is a pea-green, My reindeer’s a Girl Scout; She can dig a latrine. My high school best friend always referred to Sinéad O’Connor’s “Nothing Compares 2 U” as “I Have No Hair, It’s True”. ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/16 "2002-05-31T16:22:40Z")
I’m in great company. I have a ton of 70’s and 80’s R&B, the two older boys, the wife and I can modify any of these songs to fit a moment. My best was probably “Shut-up” sung to the music “Word Up” by Cameo. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/17 "2002-05-31T16:25:23Z")
My dad doesn’t exactly parody songs, he just …I can’t explain For example, back a while when _Wham_ had a record being overplayed on the radio, my dad picked up on the lyric "_guilty feet have got no rhythm_ he would wander the house singing that line over and over and over…he thought that it was the funniest song he ever heard. Then there was the _Simply Red_ song that had a line “holding me, holding me, aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh” Dad still runs around singing that only his ‘aaaaaaahhhhhhh’ sounds like a cat being strangled by a garden hose. He finds words and phrase that appeal to his bizzare ear, and then repeats them over and over. One night while my sisters and I were in high school, (late 80’s) we happened to be sitting in the kitchen with our friend, Lori trying to decide what kind of pizza to order. All of a sudden Lori starts laughing. Us sisters were baffled as to what was so funny. When Lori could talk again, she told us that our dad had popped into the kitchen and yelled “PIZZA PIZZA” (a la Little Caesar) We hadn’t even noticed because we had learned to tune him out. Now, when I call my Mom, I can hear Dad ‘singing’ in the backround. She doesn’t hear him either. Ironically, my older sister’s husband does the same thing. I think **Mr. Cynical** does it too. Who says you don’t marry your parents? ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/18 "2002-06-01T02:00:41Z")
**Howard of the Mounties (no apologies to Kenny Rogers)** "Promise me, son, that you’ll bite your woman’s buns. Wear a two-day stubble when you can. Folks won’t think you’re queer if you have another beer, Damn right you’ve got to drink to be a man! They had all referred to him as Howard of The Mounties." That happened when I heard Kenny Rogers’ two-handkerchief weeper about The Cowbell of The County about twenty times too many. I wrote to my friend in prison and told him of the new lyrics. He replied, saying rude things about my mother. He warned me never to touch George Jones’s “Two Story House.” I didn’t. ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/19 "2002-06-01T02:34:48Z")
I know a guy who actually sings pretty well at karioke, parodies this song “Dead or Alive” for like 3 minutes “I’m a drunkard and I drink when I drive, I’m wanted, D-W-I” he replaces some other phrases I think “six pack” for six gun, etc. He doesn’t do karioke as much any more. He lives in the burbs and lost his license a few months ago…anybody want to guess why? Yup. he also could do “Burning down the house” after falling asleep with a candle (and a girl and a lot of booze) and waking up to a fire that gutted his apartment two years ago. Guy has problems. He’s lucky to be alive. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/20 "2002-06-01T14:21:57Z")
When my children were younger and in the toilet-training stage, and we were spending all that time waiting around the can while they strained to do their business, so we could give them a proper wipe when it was all over, I used to sing every contempo pop song which included the word “party,” especially as a verb (and my goodness, there are a lot of them), only substituting “potty.” There’s gonna be a potty tonight A potty tonight I know… – Ukulele “It’s my potty and I’ll cry if I want to” Ike [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559.md?page=2)