# Song Paradies: Does your household have 'em? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 30, 2002, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559 "2002-05-30T16:02:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/21 "2002-06-01T15:39:26Z")
Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote a show called The Beautiful Game, which was about Irish football (socceer). I first heard it during the 2000 Subway Series, and the title song VIVA THE BEAUTIFUL GAME, became VIVA THE YANKEES AND METS! I still have the lyrics. If any Doper wants them, you can e-mail me. But I ain’t waiting by the computer. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/22 "2002-06-01T18:21:18Z")
Latest to Kylie’s “Can’t Get You Outta My Head.” Can’t get you offa my face, your penis is all I need right now, I just can’t get you offa my face, protein is in my diet any how. ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2002, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/23 "2002-06-03T07:53:11Z")
One time, while in the bathroom (where I have all of my most profound thoughts), I came up with a parody of Simon & Garfunkel’s “Cecilia”: Cecilia, you’re making me fart, You’re giving me flatulence daily. Cecilia, I’m down on my knees, I’m begging you please for Bean-O. Eating beans in the afternoon, With Cecilia, in my dining room. I got up to cut the cheese, When I come back to eat, she has taken my beans… I think it should be obvious by now that I was about 9 or 10 when I came up with that… ---
**Author:** ![TelcontarStorm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3ab097/32.png) [@TelcontarStorm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TelcontarStorm)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2002, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/24 "2002-06-03T12:45:22Z")
A little musical ditty come up with in the mid-80’s by the masters in my Family, has fallen to classic standards. I can’t even sing it right anymore! Apoplogies to the **Rolling Stones** Good by Boobie Ruby Who could hang a bra on you? Your tits change with every new day Still you’re stuffing tissues ! Again Apologies to **Fleetwood Mac** Lick my thighs lick my sweet little thighs ( Lick my, lick my thighs) Oh no no, you can’t discuise… Your need to lick my thighs! Even worse:eek: But no Apoplogies as we \* just know\* he wouldn’t care. An obsure **Frank Zappa** bit. (deticated to my buddie Lee after getting busted in the act by his brother) Sir Lee pump-a-Banner.Tales of a demented bed boffer (you Zappa fans out there. Did you think it possible to improve on the original for weirdness?) I used to know a ton of one liners. “Born to Cum”…“Freeloading” etc… but be damned if I can remember right now. Too early… not enough caffine…:wally ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2002, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/25 "2002-06-03T15:08:48Z")
_I Second That Emotion_ by Smokey Robinson is much funnier if you corrupt the chorus to: Well if you feel like giving me A lifetime of servility I second that emotion ---
**Author:** ![Politzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3ab097/32.png) [@Politzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Politzania)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2002, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/26 "2002-06-03T17:19:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TelcontarStorm \* > Again Apologies to **Fleetwood Mac** > Lick my thighs > lick my sweet little thighs > ( Lick my, lick my thighs) > Oh no no, you can’t discuise… > Your need to lick my thighs! > \*\* My take on the same song: “Feed me flies, feed me sweet little flies (Feed me flies, feed me, feed me flies) Oh no no, you can’t disguise Those sweet little flies” But wait, there’s more… “I Get Weak” (Belinda Carlisle?) “I get hives when you’re next to me Hives rom your touch I just sneeze when I look in your eyes” However - my best effort was an (incomplete) tribute to Mystery Science Theater 3000 ala “American Pie” \*\*A long, long time ago I can still remember how MST began to make us smile Joel Robinson worked in a lab For Dr. F who was a crab and needed someone to torture for a while… So he sent Joel up into space The SOL became his base Bad movies on the doorstep Joel kept his cool, he’s no schlep He built some friends, the robot Crow Cambot, Gypsy and Tom Servo Off to the theater they would go When they got movie sign… But now we’re singin’ Bye-bye Best Brains girls and guys Ten great seasons left us grievin’ when you said your goodbyes We laughed so hard, the tears would fall from our eyes Thanks to Comedy Central and to Sci Fi KTMA, CC and to Sci Fi \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2002, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/27 "2002-06-07T01:54:53Z")
Its potty time Time to get you outta my colon… Okay I am sick I admit it. ---
**Author:** ![madcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@madcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madcat)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2002, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559/28 "2002-06-07T10:23:01Z")
You’ll probably never hear the Beach Boys sing my updated version of **I Get Around** Verse 1: I’m gettin’ bugged walkin’ up and down. Depends always drip. I got a bad toupee And a re-place-ment hip. My buddies and me Are gettin’ so damn old. About half of us are dead In the ground growin’ cold. refrain: They’re in the ground. And that’s where I’m bound. Ain’t got a tooth in my head. I can’t even chew bread. Verse2: We always take my car. Oldsmobiles are so neat. And we’re called ‘Sir’ or ‘Grandpa’ By the girls we meet. None of the guys walk steady. We’re all losing our sight. My best girl died in a nursing home Last Saturday night. repeat refrain [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-paradies-does-your-household-have-em/111559.md?page=1)