# Song parodies from your youth **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 29, 2000, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-parodies-from-your-youth/35071 "2000-09-29T22:02:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-parodies-from-your-youth/35071/1 "2000-09-29T22:02:07Z")
The “What do you use instead of T.P.” thread reminded me of a parody of the theme song from the old western “Branded”. This got me thinking of song parodies I used to sing as a kid. Being a good mom, I have taught my children all of the parodies I know and I need more. So post what you remember! Here are 2 more to start you off. I can’t get no Big erection I can’t get no Big erection Well I try and I try and I try and I try I CANT GET NO No no no. McDonald’s is my kind of place They serve you rattlesnakes French fries between your toes Hamburgers up you nose The last time I went there They stole my underwear McDonald’s is my kind of place! ---
**Author:** ![Tigreye007](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b782af/32.png) [@Tigreye007](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tigreye007)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-parodies-from-your-youth/35071/2 "2000-09-29T22:17:56Z")
Why are you teaching your kids about erections? Anyways, here’s one I _just_ remembered: “My old friend he had some plastic guy, **G-I-G-I-Jooooe** And with a magnifying glass he fried (a), **G-I-G-I-Jooooe** With a torso here, and a finger there, Here a head, There an arm, Everywhere some dead parts, My old friend he had a plastic guy **G-I-G-I-Jooooe** ” ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-parodies-from-your-youth/35071/3 "2000-09-29T22:57:13Z")
This reminds me of something I was thinking about…has anyone ever tried to trace the origin of those goofy songs we sing as little kids? Here’s parts of a couple I remember… I saw \ floating down the Delaware Riding with a polar bear Chewing on his underwear …something something something… Poor little baby died. Then there was that one… Glory glory hallelujah Teacher hit me with a ruler We tied up all the janitors and flushed them down the stool Our truth goes marching on I wonder if whoever made these up originally realized how far they would spread, and how long kids would keep on singing them. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-parodies-from-your-youth/35071/4 "2000-09-29T23:08:05Z")
I still remember a little of _Mad_ magazine’s Coke song parody: I’d like to catch a bus one day Where I don’t lose my mind To wait forever 'til it comes With seven more behind I’d like a rear seat in a car Built for a family With leg-room that will fit a kid Who’s more than four-foot-three But most of all I’d like a song That doesn’t have to be Just another free plug for Some soft-drink company. I don’t remember how it started out. Maybe someone has that issue? ---
**Author:** ![relic\_11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/50afbb/32.png) [@relic\_11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/relic_11)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-parodies-from-your-youth/35071/5 "2000-09-30T00:07:44Z")
Comet! It makes your mouth turn green. Comet! It tastes like listerine. Comet, it’ll make you vomit, So take some Commet, and vomit, todaaaaay! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-parodies-from-your-youth/35071/6 "2000-09-30T00:20:44Z")
Leprosy! All my skin is falling off of me! And I’m not half the man I used to be Oh Leprosy came suddenly. Why My Leg fell off, I don’t know, it wouldn’t stay. I ate something wrong, now I’m in a colony for Leprosy! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-parodies-from-your-youth/35071/7 "2000-09-30T01:32:24Z")
Caviar comes from virgin sturgeon Virgin sturgeon is a very rare fish Virgin sturgeon need no urgin’ That’s why caviar’s a very rare dish. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-parodies-from-your-youth/35071/8 "2000-09-30T04:22:49Z")
ahhh, youth There’s a place in France Where the naked ladies dance But the men don’t care cause they chew their underwear Jesus Christ, superstar Got a way with a stolen car Cops were there, I don’t care Cause I got bulletproof underwear When I die, bury me But hang my balls on a cherry tree When they’re ripe, take a bite But don’t blame me if you barf all night two parodies of “On top of old Smokey”: On top of spaghetti All covered with cheese I lost my poor meatball 'cause somebody sneezed On top of old smokey all covered with blood I shot my poor teacher With a submachine gun I shot her with glory I shot her with pride I couldn’t have missed her She’s thirty feet wide I went to her funeral I went to her grave Some people threw flower I threw hand grenades I looked in her coffin She wasn’t quite dead So I took my bazooka And blew off her head Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school We have tortured every teacher we have broken every rule (??? ??? leads into the “glory glory hallelujah/teacher hit me with a ruler” song) there’s a boy scout camp song to the tune of “yellow submarine” whose words I never knew, but whose refrain is “We all live in a flooded latrine” -There’s a song I used to think was about as clever as could be in 4th grade whose chorus is either “it’s a rupture” or “it’s erection” (I was never quite sure), in which the verses are always improvised, ie: person A: When you’re running to the party, and you let out a big farty, it’s a rupture, it’s a rupture person B: When you get to the door and you slip on the floor, it’s a rupture, it’s a rupture person A: When you go in to the teepee and you have to make some peepee, … (and so forth) And finally, for your listening pleasure, every verse I can remember of the Camp Oljato version of “Mary had a little lamb” (which is _not_, oddly enough, sung to the tune of “Mary had a little lamb”) (also oddly, "shouting out the battle cry of free-ee-dom keeps being inserted in the middle of verses, although it’s not sung to the tune of _Battle Hymn of the Republic_, either) Verse: Mary had a little lamb She kept it in the closet And every time she let it out It left a little deposit Chorus: Hurrah for the Mary Hurrah for the Lamb Hurrah for the Teacher, who wouldn’t give a particle If all the lambs in region twelve went marching off to school, hey! Shouting out the battle cry of free-ee-dom Verses: Mary had a little lamb She fed it castor oil And every time she let it out It fertilized the soil Mary had a little lamb She kept it by the heater And every time it turned around It burned its little feeter Mary had a little lamb The doctors were astounded And everywhere that Mary went Gynecoligists surrounded (on a similar note) Mary had a little lmab The doctors were surprised But when old macdonald had a farm You should have scene their eyes Mary had a little lamb, She also had a duck She put them on the table To see if they would fall off Mary had a little car And it was painted red And everywhere that Mary went The cops picked up the dead Mary had a little lamb, She also had a bear Now often I have seen her lamb But I’ve never seen her bare Mary had a bathing suit And it was very airy It didn’t help her much to swim But it showed a lot of Mary (and the traditional final verse) Mary had a little lamb Her father shot it dead So now she takes that lamb to school Between two hunks of bread My goodness I’m wasting a lot of brain space on this nonsense 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Eo\_Echo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ebca7d/32.png) [@Eo\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eo_Echo)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-parodies-from-your-youth/35071/9 "2000-09-30T06:12:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MaxTheVool \* > \*\*-There’s a song I used to think was about as clever as could be in 4th grade whose chorus is either “it’s a rupture” or “it’s erection” (I was never quite sure), in which the verses are always improvised, ie: > > person A: When you’re running to the party, and you let out a big farty, it’s a rupture, it’s a rupture > > person B: When you get to the door and you slip on the floor, it’s a rupture, it’s a rupture > > person A: When you go in to the teepee and you have to make some peepee, … > > (and so forth)\*\* I heard those as well, but the chorus was, "Diarrhea cha-cha-cha, diarrhea cha-cha-cha (later made famous by Beavis and Butt-head). To that I’ll add: I was walking down the hall and I felt something fall… I was driving in my Chevy and I felt something heavy… Some people think it’s funny but it’s really wet and runny… Some people think it’s gross but it’s pretty good on toast… I was sliding into third when I felt something burn… ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-parodies-from-your-youth/35071/10 "2000-09-30T13:36:01Z")
There used to be an animated TV series called _Hercules_ (mid-70s), and I can’t believe I remember the first two lines of the spoof, but not the title song itself… “Hercules–he’s a female phoney, Hercules–he’s made of cheese and baloney…” Kickstart any memories, anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Malarky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Malarky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malarky)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-parodies-from-your-youth/35071/11 "2000-09-30T14:47:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JBirdman12 \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by MaxTheVool \* > > \*\*-There’s a song I used to think was about as clever as could be in 4th grade whose chorus is either “it’s a rupture” or “it’s erection” (I was never quite sure), in which the verses are always improvised, ie: > > > > person A: When you’re running to the party, and you let out a big farty, it’s a rupture, it’s a rupture > > > > person B: When you get to the door and you slip on the floor, it’s a rupture, it’s a rupture > > > > person A: When you go in to the teepee and you have to make some peepee, … > > > > (and so forth)\*\* > > I heard those as well, but the chorus was, "Diarrhea cha-cha-cha, diarrhea cha-cha-cha (later made famous by Beavis and Butt-head). > > To that I’ll add: I was walking down the hall and I felt something fall… > > I was driving in my Chevy and I felt something heavy… > > Some people think it’s funny but it’s really wet and runny… > > Some people think it’s gross but it’s pretty good on toast… > > I was sliding into third when I felt something burn… \*\* When you’re sitting on the john and the toilet paper’s gone, diarrhea cha-cha-cha diarrhea cha-cha-cha so you take it like a man and you wipe it w/your hand diarrhea cha-cha-cha diarrhea cha-cha-cha 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-parodies-from-your-youth/35071/12 "2000-09-30T16:06:38Z")
More diarrhea verses: Gotta run real fast 'cause it’s dripping out your ass (diarrhia cha-cha-cha) No strain no pain just let it drain (diarrhia cha-cha-cha) And Tigerye, my kids are 14 years old. Do you think the talk about anything _but_ erections? ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-parodies-from-your-youth/35071/13 "2000-09-30T16:10:32Z")
_To the tune of the “Battle Hymn of the Republic”_ I wear my silk pajamas in the summer when it’s hot And I wear my flannel PJs in the winter when it’s not And sometimes in the summer And sometimes in the fall I just right in between the sheets with nothing on at all! Glory glory hallejuah Balmy breeze is blowing through ya Glory glory hallejuah I jump right in between the sheets with nothing on at all! ---
**Author:** ![pantom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/34f0e0/32.png) [@pantom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pantom)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2000, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-parodies-from-your-youth/35071/14 "2000-10-01T03:57:06Z")
From **MAD** magazine, to the tune of Maria: Picasso, I just bought an oil by Picasso. And suddenly I’m told, This painting I’ve been sold Ain’t real! For the NYers among you 40 and older, we have this one (to the tune of Frere Jacques): Marijuana, marijuana LSD, LSD Rockefeller makes it! Mayor Lindsay takes it! Why can’t we? Why can’t we? ---
**Author:** ![Gabz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/838e76/32.png) [@Gabz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gabz)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2000, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-parodies-from-your-youth/35071/15 "2000-10-01T15:10:45Z")
All the girls in France Do a hula hula dance And they way they shake Is enough to kill a snake When the snake is dead They put roses in its head When the roses die They put tulips in its eye When the tulips die They make orange pumpkin pie. (So we were weird as kids!!!) I think someone else alluded to this one: (to the tune of That’s Amore) When your b\*\*\*\* hit the floor Like a b-54 that’s a rupture when your d\*\*\* stands up straight Like the empire State That’s a boner. (like I said - we were weird kids) ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2000, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-parodies-from-your-youth/35071/16 "2000-10-01T15:18:44Z")
Joy to the world! The school burned down, With all the teachers inside! We’re looking for the principal He’s hanging on the flagpole With a rope around his neck With a rope around his neck With a rooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-oooo-ooope Around his neck! ---
**Author:** ![AM\_PM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@AM\_PM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AM_PM)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2000, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-parodies-from-your-youth/35071/17 "2000-10-01T16:15:07Z")
There’s one I picked up lately from my brother’s collection, so it was probably playing when I was little. Homer & Jethro - The Battle Of Kookamonga Sounds like an oldie the Battle Of New Orleans “In 1814 we took a little trip, along with Colnel Jackson down the mighty Mississip” In Kookamonga, though, the boys’ camp is sneaking down on the girls’ camp, and gets into poison ivy and such. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2000, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-parodies-from-your-youth/35071/18 "2000-10-01T20:41:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JBirdman12 \* > > I heard those as well, but the chorus was, "Diarrhea cha-cha-cha, diarrhea cha-cha-cha (later made famous by Beavis and Butt-head). > > To that I’ll add: I was walking down the hall and I felt something fall… > > I was driving in my Chevy and I felt something heavy… > > Some people think it’s funny but it’s really wet and runny… > > Some people think it’s gross but it’s pretty good on toast… > > I was sliding into third when I felt something burn… \*\* I’ll add a few more: When you’re climbing up a ladder and you hear something spatter… When you’re playing in the dirt and you hear something squirt… When you’re far from home, and your pants are full of foam… There’s another great song I know, but I don’t know the final line: Stick your buttocks against the window and I’ll know that you’re home The view from the sidewalk is a vision all it’s own There’s no need to turn out the light Just stick your buns against the window and today and tonight ??? ---
**Author:** ![Jman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jman/32/4416_2.png) [@Jman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jman)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2000, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-parodies-from-your-youth/35071/19 "2000-10-02T03:42:33Z")
Deck the Halls with gasoline, Fa la la la la la la la la. Light a match and watch it gleam. Fa la la la la la la la la. Watch the school burn down to ashes Fa la la la la la la la la. This is why we play with matches Fa la la la la la la la la. The last line might be wrong…I can’t remember. Jman ---
**Author:** ![Eo\_Echo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ebca7d/32.png) [@Eo\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eo_Echo)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2000, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-parodies-from-your-youth/35071/20 "2000-10-02T05:37:06Z")
I heard it as “aren’t you glad you played with matches…” I’m so glad I’m not the only one who found diarrhea so entertaining as a kid 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/song-parodies-from-your-youth/35071.md?page=2)