# Songs About Masturbation {Male and Female} **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 22, 2005, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation-male-and-female/286066 "2005-01-22T10:57:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Elysian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@Elysian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysian)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation-male-and-female/286066/61 "2005-01-24T02:12:50Z")
Damn, I think I’m the only one who listens to Lords of Acid. Pretty much every song on their _Our Little Secret_ cd is about sex. Deep Sexy Space Chorale starts out with the lead singer singing about “playing with [her]self…” [http://shopping.yahoo.com/p:Our%20Little%20Secret:1921243203:page=tracks](http://shopping.yahoo.com/p:Our%20Little%20Secret:1921243203:page=tracks) Undoubtedly about masturbation, although that’s not the kinkiest song on the cd. ---
**Author:** ![Mbossa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@Mbossa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mbossa)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation-male-and-female/286066/62 "2005-01-24T03:19:41Z")
Radiohead’s _Thinking About You_ mentions it: > [@](#): > > Been thinking about you > And there’s no rest > Should I still love you > Still see you in bed > But I’m playing with myself > And what do you care > When the other men are far, far better? I’m not sure if many people outside of NZ have heard of this band, but Fur Patrol’s _[Man In A Box](http://www.muzic.net.nz/artists/10/lyrics1046.html)_ seems to fit the bill: > [@](#): > > I keep a man inside a box under my bed > My father says I laugh too hard > I take the man out and let him oscillate my head > He does not think my love is good > I watch my father walking silent past my doorway > I hide the man behind my back > And all the while he’s blowing kisses down my spine > > I’m not the only one who loves to feel the woman in me > Just no-one sees the other fingers > I’m not the only one who disagrees with everything ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation-male-and-female/286066/63 "2005-01-24T03:51:50Z")
_Beat My Meat_ by Pig Vomit. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation-male-and-female/286066/64 "2005-01-24T03:52:21Z")
A Bruce oldie, **Blinded by the Light** I don’t remember all the lyrics, but I remember \* The adolescent pumps his way into his hat \* Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation-male-and-female/286066/65 "2005-01-24T03:55:12Z")
Oh, and while not a commercial release, our dorm fight song, sung to the tune of Finiculi Finicula, had the chorus - Smash it bash it, ram it through the door, Smite it, bite it, hit it on the floor, I have some friends who seem to think that intercourse is simply grand, But for overall enjoyment I prefer it by the hand \* The rest of the song is even worse. ---
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation-male-and-female/286066/66 "2005-01-24T04:20:24Z")
How’d you all miss Alice Cooper’s Muscle Of Love?! _I close the door to the bathroom now I just can’t get caught in here…"_ Alice’s Dirty Dreams probably falls in there too and of course there’s always Cold Ethel. Nurse Rozetta involves a little onesided action. _I’m suddenly twice my size My pants are all wet inside"_ Yeah, I listen to _waaay_ too much Alice… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation-male-and-female/286066/67 "2005-01-24T08:48:19Z")
> [@The Sonoran Lizard King](#): > > Well, perhaps, but the advice works equally well or better when with a partner. > (or two, or more…) Well, yeah, I suppose its more about sex in general, rather than just masturbation. > [@](#): > > Now, “I’m too Sexy” by Right Said Fred, there’s some narcisicistic love song for you, guy’s too sexy for everything but himself, apparently. And his hand? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Othersider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/cab0a1/32.png) [@Othersider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Othersider)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation-male-and-female/286066/68 "2005-01-24T10:33:56Z")
> [@Angua](#): > > And his hand? 😉 _I’m Too sexy for my hand Too sexy for my hand Don’t you all understand?_ ---
**Author:** ![electrozion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/85f322/32.png) [@electrozion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/electrozion)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation-male-and-female/286066/69 "2005-01-24T14:41:24Z")
The High & Mighty: “Hands On Experience” “…Right named Palmer, left hand Wristina…” ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation-male-and-female/286066/70 "2005-01-24T14:53:52Z")
Beat me daddy, eight to the bar. Little Willie, Willie won’t, go home. ---
**Author:** ![Eurograff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/df705f/32.png) [@Eurograff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eurograff)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation-male-and-female/286066/71 "2005-01-24T15:14:05Z")
Ah, there are so many nice songs about masturbation, especially from the eighties. One of the most obvious new ones is Britney Spears’ Touch of My Hand from her In the Zone album. Quite a pretty song actually. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation-male-and-female/286066/72 "2005-01-24T15:51:07Z")
Tom Waits makes numerous references to masturbation. In the opening to _Nighthawks at the Diner_ for instance there is a long description including: > [@](#): > > Well, usually about 2.30 in the morning you’ve ended up taking advantage of yourself and… there ain’t no way around that, you know. Yeah, making the scene with a magazine, there ain’t no way around… I’ll confess, you know, I’m no different, you know. I’m not weird about it or anything. I don’t tie myself up first, I just… you know. I just kind of… spend a little time with myself. ---
**Author:** ![yellowval](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/919ad9/32.png) [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation-male-and-female/286066/73 "2005-01-24T16:33:58Z")
There’s this recent one, [“Oops, Oh My”](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/tweet/oopsohmy.html) by Tweet. I think she is a protege of Missy Elliott or something like that. Made me blush when I heard it! ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation-male-and-female/286066/74 "2005-01-24T18:41:33Z")
[“Roll Yer Own”](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/jethrotull/rollyerown.html) by Jethro Tull. ---
**Author:** ![ussentinel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ce7236/32.png) [@ussentinel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ussentinel)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation-male-and-female/286066/75 "2005-01-24T19:53:10Z")
How about “The Stroke” by Billy Squier? What’s that about? ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation-male-and-female/286066/76 "2005-01-25T10:10:43Z")
> [@ussentinel](#): > > How about “The Stroke” by Billy Squier? What’s that about? Actually I think that’s about ego stroking. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation-male-and-female/286066.md?page=3)