# Songs about masturbation. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 10, 2005, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation/303202 "2005-05-10T11:13:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation/303202/41 "2005-05-10T22:56:25Z")
Along with Longview from Green Day, there is the extra track on Dookie. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation/303202/42 "2005-05-10T23:14:31Z")
_The Stroke_ by Billy Squier. If it isn’t about spanking it, I don’t know what it’s about. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation/303202/43 "2005-05-10T23:15:11Z")
“Oops (Oh My)” by Tweet “Touch of my Hand” by Britney Spears ---
**Author:** ![sqweels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f19dbf/32.png) [@sqweels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sqweels)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation/303202/44 "2005-05-10T23:23:13Z")
**In My Room** by Billy Thorpe ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation/303202/45 "2005-05-10T23:29:18Z")
For anyone who may remember the **Michael Stanley Band** , they had a song (the title of which escapes me now) that started out with the lyrics: “With sixteen lovers I hid beneath the covers Got staples in my hands for my time” or something like that… ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation/303202/46 "2005-05-11T00:17:26Z")
> [@Superdude](#): > > Yep, I had a thread a while back about this. Let me see if I can dig it up. > > [Here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=198642) Wow, **Superdude**! You must have implanted subliminal messages in my head to make me think of this whole idea in the first place! Can’t say I remember the thread per say; but hey, it had to come from somewhere. Thanks. (I’ll give you partial credit when the time comes. So if an angry, deprived man comes pounding down your door don’t say I didn’t warn you. (Kidding) Anyway thanks for all the responses so far guys. There are WAY more songs out there than I originaly thought. Jeez, what do these musicians do all day when there not writting music?? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![buns3000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c89c15/32.png) [@buns3000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buns3000)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation/303202/47 "2005-05-11T01:58:51Z")
**Smut** by Australian band Skyhooks. Its a little obscure but should definitely be on the OP’s CD. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation/303202/48 "2005-05-11T04:03:05Z")
… to be the first to mention **Billy Joel** ’s ‘Captain Jack’. ---
**Author:** ![TheInterruptingCow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9c0ed/32.png) [@TheInterruptingCow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheInterruptingCow)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation/303202/49 "2005-05-11T04:49:16Z")
> [@devilsknew](#): > > Rodney Carrington’s [_Dear Penis_](http://www.rodneycarrington.com/dearpenis.php) God, I love that song… “You used to watch me shave, now you just stare at the floor…” “Used to be just you and me, a paper towel and a dirty magazine…” “If we could just get a grip on our man-to-hand relationship…” ---
**Author:** ![Meeko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Meeko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meeko)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation/303202/50 "2005-05-11T06:07:23Z")
There is some 80s song “Relax” … thought that had to do with calling down for mayo. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation/303202/51 "2005-05-11T06:23:39Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > Oops. I meant “Donald and Lydia” Damn!!! I thought for sure that no one would know about this one. Good call… you beat me to it. "She read romance magazine up in her room, and felt just like Sunday on Saturday afternoon. \ But when they were finished there was nothing to say, 'Cause mostly they made love from ten miles away." ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation/303202/52 "2005-05-11T06:35:46Z")
Stones - Start Me Up. ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation/303202/53 "2005-05-11T06:37:53Z")
[http://www.masturbateforpeace.com/lyrics.html](http://www.masturbateforpeace.com/lyrics.html) ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation/303202/54 "2005-05-11T09:29:09Z")
“Lo Yo Yo Stuff” by Captain Beefheart and his Magic Band ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation/303202/55 "2005-05-11T09:33:40Z")
> [@betenoir](#): > > Nobody’s mentioned “Orgasm Addict”? (Ok, there’s mention of non-masturbator sex, but I’d still say it counts.) > Also “Pump it Up” -Elvis Costello I recall Elvis saying in an interview “Pump It Up” was about taking drugs (most likely speed) while on tour. I’ll add “Uncontrollable Urge” by Devo. I also think “All I Have To Do Is Dream” by The Everly Brothers is about masturbation, but no one seems to agree with me. ---
**Author:** ![Kitchen\_Wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f08c70/32.png) [@Kitchen\_Wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kitchen_Wench)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation/303202/56 "2005-05-11T10:03:25Z")
I don’t know if the song is about masturbation, but \*Moving in Stereo \*from the Cars always makes me think of a certain scene in Fast Times At Ridgemont High… Excellent hypnotic beat, too. ---
**Author:** ![zagloba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/977dab/32.png) [@zagloba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zagloba)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation/303202/57 "2005-05-11T12:18:44Z")
_Nights in White Satin_ by the Moody Blues – but not everyone interprets it that way. ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation/303202/58 "2005-05-11T12:52:19Z")
> [@](#): > > “She bop” Cindy lauper Seriously? ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation/303202/59 "2005-05-11T13:16:12Z")
> [@John Mace](#): > > Damn!!! I thought for sure that no one would know about this one. Good call… you beat me to it. > > "She read romance magazine up in her room, > and felt just like Sunday on Saturday afternoon. > > \ > > But when they were finished there was nothing to say, > 'Cause mostly they made love from ten miles away." “Donald and Lydia” stands out on this list as the only song without a “smirk, smirk” attitude – it’s both sweet and sad. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation/303202/60 "2005-05-11T16:42:40Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > I also think “All I Have To Do Is Dream” by The Everly Brothers is about masturbation, but no one seems to agree with me. I agree with you, and came back to this thread to mention it. \*I can make you mine Taste your lips of wine Anytime Night or day Only trouble is Gee whiz I’m “dreamin’” my life away\* (wink, wink) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-masturbation/303202.md?page=2)