# Songs about self-pleasure **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 19, 1999, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403 "1999-11-19T19:39:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ursa\_Major](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/a88e57/32.png) [@Ursa\_Major](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ursa_Major)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 1999, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/21 "1999-11-20T00:54:00Z")
“If Stuart Could Talk” by the Dickies: > [@](#): > > My purpose is procreation, > Not facilitating in your sink Back in the early '80s I saw them perform this song live. The lead singer used a felt penis shaped muppet (with googly eyes) when singing Stewy’s lines. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 1999, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/22 "1999-11-20T02:03:00Z")
The “Strokin” song that I am thinking of is not the Billy Squire song. It goes something like this. Strokin to east Strokin to the west Strokin for the girl That I love best It may not be exactly like that but it is pretty close. The words I wrote were mild compared to the rest of the song. I wish I could remember it. . . . * * * \>^,^\< KITTEN Please tell your pants it’s not polite to point. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 1999, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/23 "1999-11-20T02:20:00Z")
“Rosie” by Jackson Browne ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 1999, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/24 "1999-11-20T03:31:00Z")
_Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter…_ The song’s about sex, though, not about masturbation. Most of the lyrics make that ABUNDANTLY clear. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 1999, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/25 "1999-11-20T04:08:00Z")
Not to brag or anything and getting off the subject a bit - I proudly know all the words to “Rodeo” and I can swing dance as I sing it! Yeee Haaa! * * * \>^,^\< KITTEN Please tell your pants it’s not polite to point. ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 1999, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/26 "1999-11-20T04:11:00Z")
“My Ding-A-Ling.” Chuck Berry. circa.1970 * * * This space for rent. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 1999, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/27 "1999-11-20T05:56:00Z")
How about Jackyl’s “Lumberjack Song”? It concludes with “I ain’t jacked my lumber, baby, since my chain saw you.” ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 1999, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/28 "1999-11-20T13:58:00Z")
“She’s Vibrator Dependent” by Mojo Nixon. * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 1999, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/29 "1999-11-20T14:21:00Z")
Jeez Tennhippie, have you been listening to my record collection again? “Rosie” by Jackson Browne, is a lovely lyrical ode to his hand. Rosie you’re all right (you wear my ring) When you hold me tight (Rosie that’s my thing) When I turn out the light (I’ve got to hand it to me) Looks like it’s me and you again tonight, Rosie. From “Running on Empty”, one of the best live albums ever recorded. And before Tennhippie mentions it, let’s not forget “Donald and Lydia”, by John Prine. ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 1999, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/30 "1999-11-20T16:14:00Z")
“I Touch Myself”, by was-her-name from TLC. “Burritos” By Sublime mentions self loving. * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 1999, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/31 "1999-11-20T16:40:00Z")
Aerosmith’s “Walkin’ the Dog” ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 1999, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/32 "1999-11-20T19:22:00Z")
In reference to Clarence Carter’s _Strokin’_–it’s a Beach Music classic, but the lyrics are suggestive enough that it is rarely played on the radio. One station I regularly listened once had an “All-time Beach Music Top Hits Countdown”, and this song came in at #1. The humerous part was that this was the only time I ever heard this station actually play the song–normally it was considered too risqué. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 1999, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/33 "1999-11-20T20:12:00Z")
Two obscure ones: “Mirror in the Bathroom”, by a group I can’t quite get into focus - ?Blancmange? Flock of Seagulls? - or maybe a couple of years earlier… “Mother Fist and her Five Daughters”, off a Marc Almond album ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 1999, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/34 "1999-11-20T20:26:00Z")
FTR, I am **not** a _Jackson Browne_ fan. He’s not bad-- he pushes mediocrity to its limits. _John Prine_, OTOH, is pure poetic genius. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 1999, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/35 "1999-11-20T22:15:00Z")
The Beat - I knew i’d get it eventually… ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 1999, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/36 "1999-11-20T22:45:00Z")
Even country music has extolled auto-eroticism, with **Rodney Clark’s** [Dear Penis](http://www.meckcom.net/~rodneyclark/wavs/penismo.wav) * * * TT “Believe those who seek the truth. Doubt those who find it.” --Andre Gide ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 1999, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/37 "1999-11-20T22:59:00Z")
“Shuckin’ Da Cob” by Da Yoopers They have lots of similar songs about sexual situation’s, just no others on self-pleasure. * * * I’m only your wildest fear, from the corners of your darkest thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![meek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce73a5/32.png) [@meek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meek)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 1999, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/38 "1999-11-20T23:19:00Z")
“Beat It” by Michael Jackson (Ugh!) * * * If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 1999, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/39 "1999-11-20T23:35:00Z")
“Orgasm Addict” by The Buzzcocks, one of the best early punk singles around… * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 1999, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/40 "1999-11-21T00:03:00Z")
## “In My Room” The Beach Boys “My hovercraft is full of eels.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403.md?page=3)