# Songs about self-pleasure **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 19, 1999, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403 "1999-11-19T19:39:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![putrid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e5b9ba/32.png) [@putrid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/putrid)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 1999, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/41 "1999-11-21T00:13:00Z")
Jonathan King’s “Jerk Rhythm”. It was left off the American version of his “Pandora’s Box” album because it was so naughty. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 1999, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/42 "1999-11-21T05:48:00Z")
Tennhippie: I agree, but “Running on Empty” is an exception. It’s the only JB album I own, but it’s a classic. Hey, I can’t believe no one mentioned, “Blinded by the Light” by The Boss. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 1999, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/43 "1999-11-21T08:56:00Z")
Can’t recall the artists, for some pathetic reason… “Undercover Angel” Possibly this referred only to nocturnal emission during sleep, but I count it anyway. “Dream Lover” Same _caveat_. In Weird Al Yankovich’s “One More Minute,” he laments to his ex, _I guess I might seem kinda bitter. You got me feelin’ down in the dumps. 'Cause I’m stranded by myself in the gas station of love And I have to use the self-service pumps._ Of course, it’s more of a breakup song than anything else, but that verse should get it an honorable mention. ---
**Author:** ![putrid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e5b9ba/32.png) [@putrid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/putrid)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/44 "1999-11-22T01:09:00Z")
Tina Peel’s “Wang It” covers a related topic (involving a partner.) Suzie Seacell’s “Me and My Vibrator” was an old Demented tune. Billy and the Boys’ “Life Size Rubber Doll” fills the bill. Scream’s “Spankin’ the Monkey” is a heartfelt exploration of this string’s ethos. “Friggin’ in the Riggin’” was a classic folk tune which Oscar Brand recorded. The Sex Pistols turned it into a rock number. ---
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/45 "1999-11-22T02:45:00Z")
_Medium Pace,_ by Adam Sandler It was with some other MP3’s I was downloading. Horrible. Horrible. Horrible. Hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![jane\_says](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jane\_says](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jane_says)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/46 "1999-11-22T03:32:00Z")
“Girls of Porn” by Mr. Bungle. A little sample: “My hand gets tired and my dick gets sore But the girls of porn want more…” ---
**Author:** ![LordDenning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LordDenning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LordDenning)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/47 "1999-11-22T03:41:00Z")
Madonna - “Into the Groove” …Only when I’m dancing can I feel this free / At night I lock the doors, where no one else can see / I’m tired of dancing here all by myself / Tonight I wanna dance with someone else… ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/48 "1999-11-22T04:25:00Z")
“He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands” (traditional) Okay, for a serious one “Darling Nikki” by The Artist Who At That Time Was Still Known As Prince. ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/49 "1999-11-22T06:46:00Z")
Well, digging waaaaay back in the vaults, I come up with the Everly Brothers’ “(All I Have to Do is) Dream”, to wit: I can make you mine Taste your lips of wine Anytime, night or day Only trouble is Gee whiz I’m dreamin’ my life away… Masturbation songs are more interesting when you can’t actually mention masturbation… * * * “That’s entertainment!” —Vlad the Impaler ---
**Author:** ![putrid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e5b9ba/32.png) [@putrid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/putrid)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/50 "1999-11-22T07:13:00Z")
If “references to self-abuse in popular music” include band names, I’d suggest Circle Jerks, Wackers, and Slammin’ Watusis. ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/51 "1999-11-22T15:42:00Z")
Mirror in the Bathroom was by the Specials Darling Nikki by Prince “I saw her in a hotel lobby masturbating with a magazine” * * * You want brilliance BEFORE I’ve had my coffee!!! ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/52 "1999-11-22T17:57:00Z")
I can_not_ believe no one has yet mentioned “My Sharona.” ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 1999, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403/53 "1999-11-23T00:05:00Z")
_ **I** _ find it hard to believe no one has mentioned “Touch Yourself” by Barnes & Barnes. Am I the only Dr. Demento fan among the Teeming Millions?? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-self-pleasure/11403.md?page=2)