# Songs about "The First Woman I Ever Boned" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** music\ **Created:** [July 10, 2017, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908 "2017-07-10T10:22:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/1 "2017-07-10T10:22:11Z")
I was listening to the radio yesterday and I heard, in rapid succession, Chilliwack’s “In the Arms of Mary” (She took the pains of boyhood and turned them into feel-good; oh how I wish I were lying in the arms of Mary) and Bob Seger’s “Night Moves” (Workin’ on mysteries without any clues; workin’ on our night moves). It made me wonder if there were enough songs about guys boning for the first time to fill up an entire concept album. The two other possible candidates I could think of were “Maggie May” by Rod Stewart (not clear if it’s the first time, but still) and “Bed of Rose’s” by The Statler Brothers (She took me in and wiped away my childhood). Any other ideas? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/2 "2017-07-10T10:38:00Z")
_“December, 1963 (Oh, What A Night)”_ presumably counts, since he realizes he was never gonna be the same and ruefully laments that it ended much too soon. ---
**Author:** ![chrisk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@chrisk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chrisk)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/3 "2017-07-10T10:43:31Z")
There must be a lot in country… Garth Brooks’ “That Summer” seems to fit for a start. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/4 "2017-07-10T10:54:17Z")
Billy Joel made it with a red-haired girl in a Chevrolet. ---
**Author:** ![Covfefe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ee7513/32.png) [@Covfefe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covfefe)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/5 "2017-07-10T11:04:08Z")
Summer (The First Time) by Bobby Goldsboro. Detailed account of 17 year old getting with a 31 year old woman. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/6 "2017-07-10T11:46:50Z")
Harry Chapin had a song called “Babysitter”, in which the narrator happily recounts how, as a 12 year old, he had his first sexual encounter with his 16-year-old babysitter. ---
**Author:** ![Gus\_Gusterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@Gus\_Gusterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gus_Gusterson)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/7 "2017-07-10T12:17:11Z")
“Raspberry Beret” by Prince They say the first time ain’t the greatest But I tell ya If I had the chance to do it all again I wouldn’t change a stroke 'Cause baby I’m the most With a girl as fine as she was then ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/8 "2017-07-10T12:54:37Z")
Paul Simon, “Duncan” _Just later on the very same night I crept to her tent with a flashlight And my long years of innocence ended Well, she took me to the woods Saying here comes something and it feels so good And just like a dog I was befriended_ ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/9 "2017-07-10T13:11:58Z")
Maybe it’s just me, but I didn’t think “Arms of Mary” was about a girl at all. Marijuana, I assumed. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/10 "2017-07-10T13:19:18Z")
_Come on Eileen_, Dexy’s Midnight Runners. Not sure if it counts, but \*House of Fun \*by Madness is about buying a condom for first time sex. _Lola_, by the Kinks. Only not exactly. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/11 "2017-07-10T13:32:26Z")
Gary Puckett and the Union Gap’s This Girl is a Women Now. One of the ickiest songs ever. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/12 "2017-07-10T13:49:15Z")
Boned? ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/13 "2017-07-10T14:19:24Z")
Paradise by the Dashboard Lights? ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/14 "2017-07-10T14:22:07Z")
[Desirée, by Neil Diamond](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwHMtqcP6nQ) ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/15 "2017-07-10T14:31:55Z")
> [@yezlles](#): > > Summer (The First Time) by Bobby Goldsboro. Detailed account of 17 year old getting with a 31 year old woman. Almost the same scenario in “Wendy” by Odds. When I first heard it I had to prevent myself from singing the chorus out loud in public since it very tenderly drops the F-bomb. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/16 "2017-07-10T14:46:26Z")
How about a song about the First Man a female singer ever boned? [Strawberry Wine](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strawberry_Wine_(Deana_Carter_song)) by Deanna Carter. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/17 "2017-07-10T14:59:47Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Maybe it’s just me, but I didn’t think “Arms of Mary” was about a girl at all. > > Marijuana, I assumed. Only in the sense that you can take almost any given song and make it about drugs, if you try hard enough. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/18 "2017-07-10T15:19:13Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Gary Puckett and the Union Gap’s This Girl is a Women Now. One of the ickiest songs ever. But an essential part of the Puckett “Circle of sex life” song cycle which includes: Young Girl Lady Willpower This Girl is a Woman Now Don’t Give In Woman Woman Over You As a woman friend of mine has repeatedly stated over the years, “Gary Puckett was a pig.” ---
**Author:** ![TCMF-2L](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tcmf-2l/32/16553_2.png) [@TCMF-2L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TCMF-2L)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/19 "2017-07-10T15:23:23Z")
Another saucy babysitter is the subject of the **Finn Brothers** song **Angel’s Heap**. The song does not have an especially clear narrative but supposedly is inspired by a trip out in the babysitter’s titular wreck of a car when the older Finn brother (Tim) had relations with ‘Angel’ herself. Unreliable accounts (from the brothers themselves) suggest Neil was only 6 which would make Tim about 12. TCMF-2L ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/20 "2017-07-10T15:43:22Z")
Undercover Angel Midnight fantasy I never had a dream that made sweet love to me [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908.md?page=2)