# Songs about "The First Woman I Ever Boned" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** music\ **Created:** [July 10, 2017, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908 "2017-07-10T10:22:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/21 "2017-07-10T15:47:45Z")
Here’s one [QUOTE=Steve Tyler (and then Run-DMC)] High school loser, never made it with a lady… Then my next door neighbor had a daughter with a favor [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/22 "2017-07-10T15:51:33Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Gary Puckett and the Union Gap’s This Girl is a Women Now. One of the ickiest songs ever. At least twice as icky as it’s prequel **Young Girl** , which is saying a lot. But a nitpick- it isn’t about a guy getting “boned” for the first time, it’s a paternalistic creep telling us about having bestowed (or inflicted) his bone upon a possibly underage virgin. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/23 "2017-07-10T18:57:30Z")
It doesn’t explicitly say it’s his first time, but Confederate Railroad’s “Queen of Memphis” includes the line, _A boy became a man that night in the arms of the Memphis Queen._ ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/24 "2017-07-10T19:16:11Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Gary Puckett and the Union Gap’s This Girl is a Women Now. One of the ickiest songs ever. _Any_ of GPUG’s songs are the ickiest songs ever. And I thought so at 16 when I was the archetypal horny teen boy. _Edit:_ What **kunilou** said. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/25 "2017-07-10T20:54:45Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > This Girl is a Women Now. Huh? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![GESancMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gesancman/32/2923_2.png) [@GESancMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GESancMan)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/26 "2017-07-10T21:41:25Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > Billy Joel made it with a red-haired girl in a Chevrolet. Which also brings Night Ranger’s “When You Close Your Eyes” to mind. “I remember we learned about love in the back of a Chevrolet…” ---
**Author:** ![JohnGalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johngalt/32/184_2.png) [@JohnGalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnGalt)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/27 "2017-07-10T23:02:17Z")
Starbuck’s _Moonlight Feels Right_ seems to fit the bill; it might be his first time, hard to tell: The wind blew some luck in my direction I caught it in my hands today I finally made a tricky french connection You winked and gave me your o.k. … ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/28 "2017-07-10T23:08:37Z")
_[Mystery Dance](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0MNf2Rztn8)_ by Elvis Costello. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/29 "2017-07-10T23:18:49Z")
**Night Moves** , Bob Seger > [@](#): > > I was a little too tall > Could’ve used a few pounds > Tight pants points hardly reknown > She was a black-haired beauty with big dark eyes > And points all her own sitting way up high > Way up firm and high > > Out past the cornfields where the woods got heavy > Out in the back seat of my ‘60 Chevy > Workin’ on mysteries without any clues > Workin’ on our night moves > Tryin’ to make some front page drive-in news Seems like a Chevy was the vehicle to have; no wonder I couldn’t get laid. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/30 "2017-07-10T23:26:51Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > **Night Moves** , Bob Seger > > Seems like a Chevy was the vehicle to have; no wonder I couldn’t get laid. Another Harry Chapin song, “Taxi”, has the line, “We learned about love in the back of the Dodge”. So you had more than one option. You weren’t a – gasp! – Ford man, were you? ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/31 "2017-07-10T23:53:13Z")
More from the woman’s POV: He walked right up and told me that he liked my style, I noticed something different in the way he smiled. He said, “You’re quite a lady, And I know a place that’s shady, Would you care to come and lie with me a while?” And deep in my soul, I could feel a quiver When he went down and found that sweet old river,[sup]\*[/sup] And he showed me the way to find Love in the afternoon. – Evie Sands [Love in the Afternoon](http://doorbell.net/sounds/love_in_the_afternoon.mp3) You know you used to drive me crazy In the back of your Chevrolet. And every Friday night, if you were feelin’ right, You’d take a girl all the way. You had a terrible reputation, The one and only 4F kid. They threw you out of school for breakin’ every rule, But the one good thing you did: You brought the woman out of me. You taught me everything I’ll ever need to know. You left a mark upon my life, And I can never pay you back the debt I owe, You brought the woman out of me. – Evie Sands [You brought the woman out of me](http://doorbell.net/sounds/you_brought_the_woman_outa_me.mp3) [sup]\*[/sup]Yes, that means what you think it means. Thanks, Evie! ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/32 "2017-07-11T00:12:51Z")
> [@Bayard](#): > > Another Harry Chapin song, “Taxi”, has the line, “We learned about love in the back of the Dodge”. So you had more than one option. You weren’t a – gasp! – Ford man, were you? I drove a 1960 Rambler. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/33 "2017-07-11T00:32:35Z")
Here’s another one about a guy’s first time. Lou Christie’s [Rhapsody in the Rain.](https://play.google.com/music/preview/Tyipx6cgkrgebmpl3cdobtas4qq?lyrics=1&utm_source=google&utm_medium=search&utm_campaign=lyrics&pcampaignid=kp-lyrics) You probably haven’t heard it because few radio stations would play it, thanks to lyrics like this > [@](#): > > Baby the raindrops play for me > A lonely rhapsody ‘cause on our first date > We were makin’ out in the rain > > And in this car our love went much too far > It was exciting as thunder > Tonight I wonder where you are The guy got laid, then dumped. ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/34 "2017-07-11T01:33:51Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I drove a 1960 Rambler. ☹ We know all about those Ramblers! [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/enqNl7tdLR4/maxresdefault.jpg "BEEP BEEP ~ THE LITTLE NASH RAMBLER ~ The PLAYMATES ~ ANIMATION") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enqNl7tdLR4) ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/35 "2017-07-11T02:10:37Z")
Another possible woman’s view, sorta: Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![Claude\_Remains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@Claude\_Remains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claude_Remains)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/36 "2017-07-11T02:35:40Z")
Mrs. Henry. Cheap Trick. [- YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5IUTuACVTo) ---
**Author:** ![Claude\_Remains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@Claude\_Remains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claude_Remains)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/37 "2017-07-11T02:57:57Z")
Stop that thief. Cheap Trick. [Cheap Trick - Stop That Thief (Previously unreleased in the U S ) - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7qdv2zaxac) ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/38 "2017-07-11T02:59:55Z")
Thanks for the suggestions. I thought of “Paradise By The Dashboard Light”, but most of these are new to me. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/39 "2017-07-11T03:02:01Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I drove a 1960 Rambler. ☹ My first car was a 1967 Rambler! The four door American. Man, I loved that car. Never got laid in it, though. Shoulda went for a Chevy I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Claude\_Remains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@Claude\_Remains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claude_Remains)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/40 "2017-07-11T03:42:25Z")
Wonder who’s first time it is here… Benny or her? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908.md?page=3)