# Songs about "The First Woman I Ever Boned" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** music\ **Created:** [July 10, 2017, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908 "2017-07-10T10:22:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Asympotically\_fat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e47c2d/32.png) [@Asympotically\_fat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asympotically_fat)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/41 "2017-07-11T04:07:55Z")
[_Maggie May_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxtCqs2WFZE) - Rod Stewart [_Bed of Roses_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dae8Bt3xl0s) - The Statler Brothers ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/42 "2017-07-11T05:55:07Z")
> [@DesertDog](#): > > _Any_ of GPUG’s songs are the ickiest songs ever. And I thought so at 16 when I was the archetypal horny teen boy. I was 17 when it was new, and I remember a lot of us thinking his jailbait songs were creepy. > [@terentii](#): > > Huh? 😕 **This Girl Is A _Woman_ Now**. ---
**Author:** ![CaptMurdock](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/captmurdock/32/11736_2.png) [@CaptMurdock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaptMurdock)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/43 "2017-07-11T17:43:35Z")
> [@AncientHumanoid](#): > > Undercover Angel > Midnight fantasy > I never had a dream that made sweet love to me I think that one’s about, uh, _practicing_ for your first boning. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/44 "2017-07-11T18:12:51Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > _Come on Eileen_, Dexy’s Midnight Runners. How? > [@Slash1972](#): > > Paradise by the Dashboard Lights? No confirmation of virginity being lost in the song. Sounds like the young guy has been around. > [@AncientHumanoid](#): > > Undercover Angel > Midnight fantasy > I never had a dream that made sweet love to me A dream…not a woman. > [@Biggirl](#): > > Another possible woman’s view, sorta: Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow. A woman can wonder about that and not be a virgin. Also, this thread is about the guy losing his virginity. > [@Asympotically\_fat](#): > > [_Maggie May_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxtCqs2WFZE) - Rod Stewart Mentioned in the OP that it’s not clear that it’s his first time. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/45 "2017-07-11T19:31:02Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > _Come on Eileen_, Dexy’s Midnight Runners. > [@x-ray\_vision](#): > > How? Come on Eileen oh I swear (what he means) Ah come on lets, take off everything That pretty red dress, Eileen (tell him yes) Ah come on lets, ah come on Eileen That pretty red dress, Eileen (tell him yes) … Now you’re full grown Now you have shown Oh, Eileen ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2017, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/46 "2017-07-11T21:14:55Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > Come on Eileen oh I swear (what he means) > Ah come on lets, take off everything > That pretty red dress, Eileen (tell him yes) > Ah come on lets, ah come on Eileen > That pretty red dress, Eileen (tell him yes) > … > Now you’re full grown > Now you have shown > Oh, Eileen Are you asserting that “now you’re full grown” means that she complied and had sex? I don’t think so. Earlier in the song is: _You’re grown (so grown up) So grown (so grown up) now I must say more than ever_ And after: _Now you’re full grown Now you have shown Oh, Eileen_ the singer is still singing about how turned on he is with her in that dress, in a way that implies his wishes have not been answered - he’s still talking about her **in** the dress and asking her to “come on.” The two times it’s mentioned that she’s now full grown seems to imply that she’s older and really filling out that dress. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2017, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/47 "2017-07-12T12:58:55Z")
> [@x-ray\_vision](#): > > How? > > A dream…not a woman. > . Finish the song. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2017, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/48 "2017-07-12T13:31:28Z")
For the first time for a woman, no song is more explicit than Rod Stewart’s Tonight’s the Night. Any more explicit, and it would have not been played on the radio back then. ---
**Author:** ![74westy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/74westy/32/3950_2.png) [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2017, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/49 "2017-07-12T17:09:09Z")
> [@x-ray\_vision](#): > > > [@AncientHumanoid](#): > > > > Undercover Angel > > Midnight fantasy > > I never had a dream that made sweet love to me > > A dream…not a woman. Are you thinking of Imaginary Lover? That one was definitely about “practicing.” ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2017, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/50 "2017-07-13T14:52:17Z")
David Bowie’s “Young Americans”: _They pulled in just behind the bridge He lays her down, he frowns “Gee my life’s a funny thing, am I still too young?” He kissed her then and there She took his ring, took his babies It took him minutes, took her nowhere Heaven knows, she’d have taken anything, but All night She wants the young American_ Well, it’s a third-person narrator, so it may not technically fit your topic. But it certainly seems to describe the first time for both participants. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2017, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/51 "2017-07-13T15:23:22Z")
Cher, _Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves_ Picked up a boy just south of Mobile, Gave him a ride, filled him with a hot meal; I was sixteen, he was twenty-one. Rode with us to Memphis, And Papa woulda shot him if he knew what he’d done… ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2017, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/52 "2017-07-13T16:39:34Z")
Queen, “Fat Bottomed Girls”. “I was just a skinny lad, Never knew no good from bad, But I knew love before I left my nursery. Left alone with big fat Fanny, She was such a naughty nanny, Heap big woman, you made a bad boy out of me.” ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2017, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/53 "2017-07-13T17:09:05Z")
> [@Wheelz](#): > > David Bowie’s “Young Americans”: > > _They pulled in just behind the bridge > He lays her down, he frowns > “Gee my life’s a funny thing, am I still too young?” > He kissed her then and there > She took his ring, took his babies > It took him minutes, took her nowhere > Heaven knows, she’d have taken anything, but > All night > She wants the young American_ > > Well, it’s a third-person narrator, so it may not technically fit your topic. But it certainly seems to describe the first time for both participants. “Am I still too young” suggests it’s his first time, but “she’d have taken anything” doesn’t _certainly_ seem to describe her first time. > [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Cher, _Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves_ > > Picked up a boy just south of Mobile, > Gave him a ride, filled him with a hot meal; > I was sixteen, he was twenty-one. > Rode with us to Memphis, > And Papa woulda shot him if he knew what he’d done… Not seeing it with this song, either. Also, to nitpick, these songs aren’t _about_ a guy’s first time. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2017, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/54 "2017-07-14T13:28:20Z")
Blue Oyster Cult’s “Dominance and Submission” ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2019, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/55 "2019-07-21T04:59:42Z")
> [@chrisk](#): > > There must be a lot in country… Garth Brooks’ “That Summer” seems to fit for a start. I heard this song on the radio the other day and I thought of this thread. Actually, the first thing I thought was “Ew”. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2019, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/56 "2019-07-21T22:36:48Z")
Foreigner’s “It Feels Like the First Time”? ok maybe not “Like a Virgin”? :o ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2019, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/57 "2019-07-21T22:53:07Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > “Like a Virgin”? :o No, that’s a metaphor for big dicks. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2019, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/58 "2019-07-21T22:59:36Z")
Harry Chapin’s “I Wanna Learn a Love Song” _…It took another man’s wife in the real world life To make this boy a man …_ Does anyone else feel this dirty reading this thread? ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2019, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/59 "2019-07-21T23:05:35Z")
Going back to the OP, gotta say, we need to get ourselves some writers and producers and come up with the actual song _“The First Woman I Ever Boned”._ And write it already in Rock, HipHop, and Country versions to shop it around. It’ll make _someone’s_ career… ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2019, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/60 "2019-07-22T00:39:15Z")
_War is Hell on the Home Front Too_ is a particularly disgusting country song about some mope delivery boy getting deflowered by some slut whose husband is off fighting WWII. Don’t care to look up the singer, but the drool in his voice while singing it made it extra creepy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908.md?page=4)