# Songs about "The First Woman I Ever Boned" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** music\ **Created:** [July 10, 2017, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908 "2017-07-10T10:22:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2019, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/61 "2019-07-22T13:24:58Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > Foreigner’s “It Feels Like the First Time”? > > ok maybe not > > “Like a Virgin”? :o > [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > No, that’s a metaphor for big dicks. ok then how about Ric Okasek’s incredibly skeevy “I don’t wanna hold her down, don’t wanna break her crown” in _Let’s Go_? or “You were the first/You’ll be the last” from Cheap Trick’s _The Flame_? ok maybe I’m not too good at this. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2021, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/62 "2021-08-09T13:22:11Z")
I thought of this thread again after watching the Office episode “Dinner Party”: You took me by the hand Made me a man That one night You made everything all right > [@Ludovic](#): > > Almost the same scenario in “Wendy” by Odds. When I first heard it I had to prevent myself from singing the chorus out loud in public since it very tenderly drops the F-bomb. I didn’t even know they had a song other than “It Falls Apart”. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2021, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/63 "2021-08-09T13:34:46Z")
Proclaimers, “Jean”: _I’d never been lucky with girls I confess_ _Don’t know who to blame for my lack of success_ _'Cause even with ones up the back of a bus_ _There was always the risk of a slap in the puss_ _But Jean, Oh Jean, You let me get lucky with you_ _Oh Jean, Oh Jean, You let me get lucky with you_ ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2021, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/64 "2021-08-09T14:26:34Z")
The Divine Comedy, “To Die A Virgin” [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/JewL1SXIaHc/maxresdefault.jpg "To Die a Virgin (2020 Remaster)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JewL1SXIaHc) ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2021, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/65 "2021-08-09T15:02:05Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > Blue Oyster Cult’s “Dominance and Submission” I know this is four years old, but this song isn’t about losing ones virginity. It’s about the impact of the Beatles on music. Specifically on New Yeart’s Eve 1963. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2021, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/66 "2021-08-09T21:04:14Z")
Does this count? [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/XYiZY3qC8IQ/maxresdefault.jpg "Read About Love") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYiZY3qC8IQ) ---
**Author:** ![E-DUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/e-dub/32/403_2.png) [@E-DUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-DUB)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2021, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/67 "2021-08-09T21:07:37Z")
I had a Subaru Brat. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2021, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/68 "2021-11-10T14:28:46Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > _War is Hell on the Home Front Too_ is a particularly disgusting country song about some mope delivery boy getting deflowered by some slut whose husband is off fighting WWII. Don’t care to look up the singer, but the drool in his voice while singing it made it extra creepy. Wow, that song makes “That Summer” seem like a work of heart-breaking genius. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2021, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/69 "2021-11-10T14:46:47Z")
“Next” by Jacques Brel is about someone losing their virginity in a mobile army whorehouse and the whole traumatic experience scarring him for life. _Me, I really would have liked_ _A little bit of tenderness_ _Maybe a word, a smile_ _An hour of happiness_ _Oh, it wasn’t so tragic_ _The high heavens didn’t fall_ _But how much of that time_ _I hated being there at all_ ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2021, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908/70 "2021-11-10T18:59:01Z")
> [@Claude\_Remains](#): > > Wonder who’s first time it is here… Who’s on first? 🤨 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-first-woman-i-ever-boned/790908.md?page=3)