# Songs about the Oldest Profession **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 2, 2013, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312 "2013-05-02T15:07:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/21 "2013-05-02T15:46:50Z")
Got another one! [53rd and 3rd the Ramones](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qcMjKxt-dE) It’s about male hooking ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/22 "2013-05-02T15:49:22Z")
Lou Reed’s Walk on the Wild Side ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/23 "2013-05-02T15:49:40Z")
Similarly, [The Old Main Drag](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xTsShIUx1Q) by the Pogues. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/24 "2013-05-02T15:55:33Z")
and Elton John’s “Sweet Painted Lady” and Leonard Cohen’s “Sisters of Mercy” and Tina Turner’s “Private Dancer” ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/25 "2013-05-02T15:57:14Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Candle in the Wind ?? ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/26 "2013-05-02T15:58:43Z")
Probably not in the way you mean it, but: The Pop Group - We Are All Prostitutes Cheap Trick - He’s A Whore ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/27 "2013-05-02T15:58:57Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Candle in the Wind Marilyn Monroe was a hooker? ETA: I see **Rick** had the same thought. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/28 "2013-05-02T16:01:36Z")
O.C. Smith’s _The Son of Hickory Hollow’s Tramp_ ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/29 "2013-05-02T16:02:39Z")
_Cross-eyed Mary_, Jethro Tull. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/30 "2013-05-02T16:15:43Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > ?? > [@Leaffan](#): > > Marilyn Monroe was a hooker? > > ETA: I see **Rick** had the same thought. I was thinking more of Diana, but I recall now the song was written for Marilyn. Either way it was this or a Yoko joke. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/31 "2013-05-02T16:17:31Z")
(part of) “Wild Thing” (the Tone Loc song) ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/32 "2013-05-02T16:33:13Z")
These songs are about begging? ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/33 "2013-05-02T16:39:51Z")
Cab Calloway’s “Minnie the Moocher”. ---
**Author:** ![Accidental\_Martyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce7236/32.png) [@Accidental\_Martyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Accidental_Martyr)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/34 "2013-05-02T16:50:23Z")
Pixies-“Hey” ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/35 "2013-05-02T16:59:26Z")
The Who: “Trick of the Light”\* Frank Zappa: “Teenage Prostitute” Caravan: “Waterloo Lily” Caravan: “Pros and Cons” Caravan: “Give Me More” (what is it with these guys?) Matching Mole: “Nan True’s Hole” \*And for a twist, one by the same songwriter about a lady who’s _not_ a prostitute: John Entwistle: “I Was Just Being Friendly” ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/36 "2013-05-02T17:00:47Z")
A couple more classics: “A Bird in a Gilded Cage” - “her beauty was sold for an old man’s gold” and a gay version of it, “Palace of Stone” by the Five Red Caps - “I’m a poor little boy with an old moneybags / Silk on my back while my heart is in rags” ---
**Author:** ![Philliam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/philliam/32/3011_2.png) [@Philliam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philliam)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/37 "2013-05-02T17:17:33Z")
Kurt Weill - “Alabama Song” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/38 "2013-05-02T17:24:00Z")
“Maggie Lou’s Massage Parlor Blues” by Larry Gatlin “Hands” by Ian Whitcomb ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/39 "2013-05-02T17:24:40Z")
Jack Johnson - Taylor Sweetest Girl - Wyclef Jean (“Pimpin’ got harder cause, hoes got smarter…”) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/40 "2013-05-02T17:41:25Z")
Well, since there’s “Bird in a Gilded Cage”, let’s add “She’s More To Be Pitied Than Censured” by William B. Gray. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312.md?page=3)