# Songs about the Oldest Profession **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 2, 2013, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312 "2013-05-02T15:07:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/41 "2013-05-02T18:05:13Z")
No one has mentioned the best one. “Sweet Cream Ladies” by the Boxtops. In school we had a music teacher who always treated us like little children. One day she asked us to bring the words to our favorite songs to share with the class, as a way for her to bond with our generation. Julia brought “Sweet Cream Ladies” and read the words. The teacher never tried to bond with us again. Of all of the moments that I wish I had a video of, I wish I could go back to that moment. We were in the 7th grade, 12 and 13 years old. I guess we were little children at the time, but not in our heads or hearts. Here you go, from 1969: [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/EGR9I-s1BYg/hqdefault.jpg "Sweet Cream Ladies, Forward March - The Boxtops (1969)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGR9I-s1BYg) ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/42 "2013-05-02T18:12:22Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > “Fancy” by Reba McIntyre. That’s a cover of the original by Bobbie Gentry. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/43 "2013-05-02T18:35:20Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Candle in the Wind Movie Star is the oldest profession? I don’t want to quibble if you’re trying to imply something profound about MM and the arc of her life, but I think the thread is really about the more straightforward practitioners. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/44 "2013-05-02T18:38:42Z")
[“Big Spender”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG3VfKlfDEk) from **Sweet Charity** ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/45 "2013-05-02T19:55:12Z")
Private Dancer - Tina Turner ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/46 "2013-05-02T19:57:49Z")
Songs from Broadway shows about whores? What about the Best Little Whorehouse in Texas?? And Tom Paxton’s [Cindy’s Crying/Hooker](http://www.whosdatedwho.com/tpx_91115/tom-paxton/tpx_21525928) ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/47 "2013-05-02T20:02:00Z")
[Easy Money](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Crs13JJ87gA)– Nick Cave ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/48 "2013-05-02T20:09:10Z")
Tom Waits’ “Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis”. I cry every time. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/49 "2013-05-02T20:10:57Z")
“Black Diamond” by Kiss “Mama” by Genesis (or so Phil Collins says) “Lovely Ladies” from\*\*\* Les Miserables\*\*\* “Lend Your Love to Me Tonight” by Emerson, Lake & Palmer ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/50 "2013-05-02T20:27:37Z")
In addition to “Lovely Ladies” and “My Body”, there’s Les Mis’s sister show, _Miss Saigon_. One of the main characters is a pimp and about half the show is set in Saigon and Bangkok brothels. A few choice songs: _The Heat is on in Saigon_ _The Movie in my Mind_ _Why God?_ _What a Waste_ From the musical _Jeckyll & Hyde_ there’s “Here’s to the Night” (among other numbers). _The Life_ has “The Hooker’s Ball” in addition to the already mentioned “My Body”. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/51 "2013-05-02T20:40:03Z")
Another musicals one, from Chess: [One Night in Bangkok](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9mwELXPGbA) Tea girls, warm and sweet, warm, sweet Some are set up in the Somerset Maugham Suite “Get Thai’d”, you’re talking to a tourist Whose every move’s among the purest I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine ---
**Author:** ![jerseymule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jerseymule/32/3155_2.png) [@jerseymule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jerseymule)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/52 "2013-05-02T20:42:35Z")
**Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves** by Cher ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/53 "2013-05-02T20:49:14Z")
Rainbow tour from Evita has Eva Person enraged because people call her a whore. The idea of whether Eva Peron was a prostitute or not has been debated _ad naseum_. She likely traded sex for work as an actress, or negotiated things “between the sheets,” as was popular during the time. But if she traded sex for money isn’t clear. Some claim the “rooming house” her mother ran was really a brothel, and she got the underaged Eva into the business (shades of Pretty Baby). She should get into her head She should not get out of bed She should know that she’s not paid To be loud but to be laid Slut! Dangerous Jade ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/54 "2013-05-02T20:59:59Z")
The musical Man of La Mancha has _Aldonza_ and _It’s All The Same_. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/55 "2013-05-02T21:32:30Z")
Two pages and no one’s mentioned _She Works Hard For the Money_ by Donna Summer? ETA - Just looked at Wikipedia about the song and apparently it _isn’t_ about prostitution. Who knew? StG ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/56 "2013-05-02T21:47:30Z")
These songs are about magicians? mmm ---
**Author:** ![Accidental\_Martyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce7236/32.png) [@Accidental\_Martyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Accidental_Martyr)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/57 "2013-05-02T22:07:46Z")
Ani DiFranco-“Letter to a John” ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/58 "2013-05-02T22:24:38Z")
> [@jerseymule](#): > > **Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves** by Cher [Different sort of dancing.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=El7mQR14tc4) ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/59 "2013-05-02T22:27:41Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Rainbow tour from Evita has Eva Person enraged because people call her a whore. The idea of whether Eva Peron was a prostitute or not has been debated _ad naseum_. She likely traded sex for work as an actress, or negotiated things “between the sheets,” as was popular during the time. But if she traded sex for money isn’t clear. Some claim the “rooming house” her mother ran was really a brothel, and she got the underaged Eva into the business (shades of Pretty Baby). > > She should get into her head > She should not get out of bed > She should know that she’s not paid > To be loud but to be laid > Slut! Dangerous Jade I especially like the admiral trying to smooth things over: Evita: Did you hear that? They called me a whore! They actually called me a whore! [Italian admiral:] But Signora Peron it’s an easy mistake I’m still called an admiral Yet I gave up the sea long ago ---
**Author:** ![\_3Bill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/b9e5f3/32.png) [@\_3Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_3Bill)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-about-the-oldest-profession/657312/60 "2013-05-02T22:42:10Z")
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