# Songs featuring Christmas Trees?? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 16, 2010, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-featuring-christmas-trees/564417 "2010-12-16T20:29:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-featuring-christmas-trees/564417/1 "2010-12-16T20:29:36Z")
OK, there’s O Tannenbaum / O Christmas Tree then there’s Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree Others? I need to be able to parody a variety of songs (substituting “microwave” for “Christmas Tree”… it’s a long story ). Maybe the Charlie Brown “Hark The Herald Angels Sing” with “booop booop booop” instead of “looo looo loooo…”. ---
**Author:** ![Ichbin\_Dubist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/51bf81/32.png) [@Ichbin\_Dubist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichbin_Dubist)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-featuring-christmas-trees/564417/2 "2010-12-16T20:36:28Z")
Magnetic Fields to the rescue! [Everything Is One Big Christmas Tree](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8R9QTv6rngc). As a benefit, it also has the phrase “screw them” and a verse in German. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-featuring-christmas-trees/564417/3 "2010-12-16T21:04:19Z")
So, yesterday I was in the hardware store, and they had a Christmas tree. Instead of ornaments, it was hung with products, including those scented trees you hang off the rear view mirror of your car. That seemed a little silly, hanging a fake tree on a bigger (fake) tree, but there are a lot of ornaments that feature Christmas trees, so maybe it’s simply surreal… Sufjan Stevens “Put The Lights On The Tree” Cardinal & Eric Matthews “If You Believe in Christmas Trees” Bill Lloyd “Underneath the Christmas Tree” Love it or Leave It “You Me and This Christmas Tree” Mojo Nixon & The Toadliquors “Trim Yo’ Tree” Vandals “Hang Myself from the Tree” Chaston and Groditski “We Burned The Christmas Tree” (I found it at Amazon a couple of years ago) Midget Handjob “Black Christmas Tree” ("") ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-featuring-christmas-trees/564417/4 "2010-12-16T21:31:07Z")
Cool - thanks! The story, by the way: we ordered a new over-the-stove microwave. Handyman came yesterday to install it - and he couldn’t get the old one down. Referred us to an appliance place he knows, and they haven’t showed up. The new oven is still sitting in our living room - right where we need to put the Christmas tree. I keep threatening to decorate the box and put the presents around it. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-featuring-christmas-trees/564417/5 "2010-12-16T21:34:22Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > So, yesterday I was in the hardware store, and they had a Christmas tree. Instead of ornaments, it was hung with products, including those scented trees you hang off the rear view mirror of your car. That seemed a little silly, hanging a fake tree on a bigger (fake) tree, but there are a lot of ornaments that feature Christmas trees, so maybe it’s simply surreal… Funny! **Typo Knig** once saw a display of stocking stuffers in a shop in NYC. The display included dreidels. Mindbending. ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-featuring-christmas-trees/564417/6 "2010-12-16T22:23:49Z")
There’s [I’m a Christmas Tree](http://www.themadmusicarchive.com/song_details.aspx?SongID=845) by Dr. Demento. It’s not really a song, more of a spoken-word piece. Here’s my version of it for your enjoyment: - I’m a microwave I’m a microwave Everyone makes me to be their slave! I’m a microwave I’m a microwave I warm up foods that people crave! Oh, handyman! Oh, handyman! Please show up if you can! He procrastinates! He’s always late! He travels all around town without a schedule! I’m a wood stove! I’m a wood stove! I got- I mean, I’m a lot like… an Amish microwave! But I’m not… \* ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-featuring-christmas-trees/564417/7 "2010-12-16T22:37:49Z")
Emerson, Lake & Palmer’s “I Believe in Father Christmas” features the line: \*I remember one Christmas morning A winters light and a distant choir And the peal of a bell and that Christmas tree smell And eyes full of tinsel and fire \* Several more traditional Xmas songs mention or allude to the tree. “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” includes the line “Please have snow and mistletoe and presents on the tree.” ---
**Author:** ![Fried\_Dough\_Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Fried\_Dough\_Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fried_Dough_Ho)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-featuring-christmas-trees/564417/8 "2010-12-16T22:49:35Z")
P.D.Q. Bach wrote a song, _Throw The Yule Log On, Uncle John._ Very funny. Full lyrics [here](http://www.schickele.com/composition/consortchristmas.htm). ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-featuring-christmas-trees/564417/9 "2010-12-16T23:47:05Z")
> [@dwc1970](#): > > There’s [I’m a Christmas Tree](http://www.themadmusicarchive.com/song_details.aspx?SongID=845) by Dr. Demento. > > It’s not really a song, more of a spoken-word piece. Here’s my version of it for your enjoyment: > > - > > I’m a microwave > I’m a microwave > Everyone makes me to be their slave! > > I’m a microwave > I’m a microwave > I warm up foods that people crave! > > Oh, handyman! > Oh, handyman! > Please show up if you can! > He procrastinates! > He’s always late! > He travels all around town without a schedule! > > I’m a wood stove! > I’m a wood stove! > I got- I mean, > I’m a lot like… > an Amish microwave! > But I’m not… > \* This reminds me…there are boxes for microwaves at Riteaid, and each states that they contain “an electronic microwave.” As opposed to what? Do they make hand-crank ones for power failures or something? ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_A.Robrin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sam_a.robrin/32/14497_2.png) [@Sam\_A.Robrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_A.Robrin)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2010, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-featuring-christmas-trees/564417/10 "2010-12-17T00:11:50Z")
Okay, I got you started by working through the complicated (if it’s deliberate) rhyme scheme of the bridge in “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town”: The kids of Mama Zappa (Unless they don’t behave) Will find some gifts to unwrap a- Bound- Ing around The microwave. Double apocopation! I outdo my customary excesses! ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2010, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-featuring-christmas-trees/564417/11 "2010-12-17T05:18:55Z")
[My Christmas Tree](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beR6drQejEo) from the _Home Alone 2_ soundtrack. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2010, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-featuring-christmas-trees/564417/12 "2010-12-17T05:34:41Z")
“Oh! Christmas Tree???” (to the tune of O Tannenbaum): \*Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree, I’m singing to a pine tree. Some malady is causing me To serenade a pine tree. Etc. \* ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2010, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-featuring-christmas-trees/564417/13 "2010-12-17T09:40:13Z")
There’s Billy Idol - [Yellin’ at the Christmas Tree](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEYVuMqZdTM&feature=youtube_gdata_player). ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2010, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-featuring-christmas-trees/564417/14 "2010-12-17T14:39:54Z")
Always glad to put a plug in for [Catols for a Cure](http://www.broadwaycares.org/store). The 1999 CD features the cast of Chicago singing O Funky Christmas Tree O Tannenbaum, O Tannenbaum is Christmas tree in German. Our Tannenbaum is bright and brassy just like Ethel Merman ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2010, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-featuring-christmas-trees/564417/15 "2010-12-17T15:45:26Z")
Also mostly spoken: [Alife the Christmas Tree](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlmjtASMZjc).