# Songs that are just plain wrong **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 22, 2004, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580 "2004-10-22T11:50:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/101 "2004-10-23T15:21:29Z")
> [@Peter Morris](#): > > \*I shot the sherif > But I did not shoot no deputy \* > > Well, the deputy is dead. If you didn’t shoot him, who did? The sheriff. The sheriff shot the deputy, and was then tried to kill the singer so he could pin the killing on him and get away with murder. But the singer killed the sheriff first (“I swear it was in self-defense”.) And he does say that they are after him for killing the sheriff as well (“They said it is a capital offense”), but he’s most troubled by being accused of killing the deputy because he didn’t do it. As you can tell, I’ve spent way too much time thinking about this song. I was on a bus ride from Pittsburgh to Houston, see, and… ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/102 "2004-10-23T15:32:14Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > Try seed = sperm. 🙂 …or pot? ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/103 "2004-10-23T15:53:36Z")
If we’re not talking about factually wrong songs, I’ve always wanted to do a post on all of the dysfunctional love songs out there. From the minor offenders, like in _This old heart of mine_ the line “And if you leave me, a hundred times, a hundred times I’d take you back.” or even the opening line “This old heard of mine, been broke a thousand times…” Sorry, I’d be more a three strikes and your’re out kind of person Or more serious ones where, darn, I’m blanking on specific examples, but the ones where the singer talks about how their lover can treat them bad, or treat them like sh-t and they’ll love them anyway. There are dozens of them. ---
**Author:** ![Southpaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@Southpaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southpaw)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/104 "2004-10-23T16:03:23Z")
No mention of [Wives and Lovers](http://www.webfitz.com/lyrics/Lyrics/1964/701964.html)? A song that puts the husbands fidelity all on the wife’s shoulders: > [@](#): > > Day after day > There are girls at the office > And men will always be men > Don’t send him off with your hair still in curlers > You may not see him again :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/13edae/32.png) [@Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Cheatem_Undhow)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/105 "2004-10-23T16:06:27Z")
That freakin’ Dido song about going down with the ship (don’t know the title). Her protestations to the contrary notwithstanding, you just know the singer-character’s going to eventually snap and go all _Fatal Attraction_ on the guy she’s singing about. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/106 "2004-10-23T16:10:37Z")
> [@Southpaw](#): > > No mention of [Wives and Lovers](http://www.webfitz.com/lyrics/Lyrics/1964/701964.html)? A song that puts the husbands fidelity all on the wife’s shoulders: > > > [@](#): > > > > Day after day > > There are girls at the office > > And men will always be men > > Don’t send him off with your hair still in curlers > > You may not see him again > > :rolleyes: Not only that, but “men will always be men”? That line’s pretty offensive to those of us who are guys as well. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/107 "2004-10-23T16:12:20Z")
> [@flodnak](#): > > And he does say that they are after him for killing the sheriff as well (“They said it is a capital offense”), but he’s most troubled by being accused of killing the deputy because he didn’t do it. And he says “If I am guilty I will pay.” He doesn’t object to being punished for what he actually did, even though it was self-defense. I thought "plant a seed " was just a metaphor. Plant a seed of change, try to change things, and the sherriff and the establishment kill it. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/108 "2004-10-23T16:29:44Z")
_You are an obsession You’re my obsession Who do you want me to be To make you sleep with me?_ [Bill Murray]C’mon, bark like a dog for me. Bark like a dog![/Bill Murray] ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/109 "2004-10-23T16:42:04Z")
Since we’re counting perversity, and not just factual errors: [“The Plan”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=4632578&highlight=Voidoids#post4632578) by Richard Hell & the Voidoids ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/110 "2004-10-23T16:49:43Z")
Oh, goodness, _The Plan_! Excellent, excellent addition! ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/111 "2004-10-23T19:31:44Z")
_Stand By Your Man_ By Tammy (Doormat) Wynett ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/112 "2004-10-23T19:40:19Z")
\*Raping the geek And hustling the freak Like a hunchback juice On a sentimental noose Operation filth They love to love the wealth Of an SS Whore Making scary sounds Crawl on me Sink into me Die for me Living Dead Girl \* Thing is, I really love that song… ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/113 "2004-10-23T20:13:30Z")
> [@Art Vandelay](#): > > Perhaps this isn’t quite what the OP meant, but I’ve always had a pet peeve against the song “You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman.” I can’t help thinking that it implies that Aretha Franklin is NOT a natural woman. I can’t help wondering what she was ‘before the day she met him?’ An automaton? A Stepford Wife? The robot from ‘Metropolis’? According to Carole King (who is not always in the habit of staying on ‘truth’ in interviews… The answer to that would be ‘pre-orgasmic’, Alex. So that’s what change-of-state we’re discussing. I’ll toss out one by ‘Sublime’ into the mix. ‘The Wrong Way’ is about a long discussion with a 12 year old hooker in which our hero falls in love and offers to shoot her dad but she rejects it and goes back to it. ---
**Author:** ![hlanelee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@hlanelee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hlanelee)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/114 "2004-10-23T20:22:41Z")
I want to know why Sir Elton John wants little Jeanie “to be his acrobat!” 😃 :eek: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2004, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/115 "2004-10-24T01:01:34Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Have you listened to the other words to Only the Good Die Young? > > The song is just a guy trying to get laid. Hmmm… so, rather than being wrong because his argument about only the good dieing young, though specious, was merely meant to be persuasive, then I guess we might want to point out that the song is wrong because the author is basically saying fuck your and your families values, fuck me. Peace. ---
**Author:** ![Talon\_Karrde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Talon\_Karrde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talon_Karrde)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2004, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/116 "2004-10-24T01:13:39Z")
> [@pasunejen](#): > > The Beatles’ “Run For Your Life” falls into the scary-wrong category. > > \*Well, I’d rather see you dead, little girl, > Than to be with another man. > You’d better keep your head, little girl, > Or I won’t know where I am. > > You better run for your life if you can, little girl, > Hide your head in the sand, little girl– > Catch you with another man, > That’s the end > Little girl.\* > > etc., etc. > > Okay, Mr. Lennon, cheating is bad. But threatening death? Eep! > > It’s worse because the song is bouncy and catchy and until you really sit and listen to the lyrics it registers as just another one of their innocuous early pieces. I can’t stop singing along even now, but I feel dirty every time. I always thought that was supposed to be evil in a funny way, kind of like how Morrissey implies he’s responsible for the coma in Girlfriend in a Coma ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2004, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/117 "2004-10-24T01:39:44Z")
## Happiness is a warm gun Happiness is a warm gun When I feel my finger on your trigger I know no one can do me no harm Happiness is a warm gun. There’s another by Red Peters which isn’t creepy but is still wrong in a funny way… You promised the moon But I prefer Uranus :eek: * * * As for the song El Paso by Marty Robbins, if I was in the posse and had to listen to all those never ending “last dying words”, I would have shot him again, just to shut him up 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2004, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/118 "2004-10-24T01:40:28Z")
> [@flodnak](#): > > The sheriff. The sheriff shot the deputy, and was then tried to kill the singer so he could pin the killing on him and get away with murder. But the singer killed the sheriff first (“I swear it was in self-defense”.) > > And he does say that they are after him for killing the sheriff as well (“They said it is a capital offense”), but he’s most troubled by being accused of killing the deputy because he didn’t do it. > > As you can tell, I’ve spent way too much time thinking about this song. I was on a bus ride from Pittsburgh to Houston, see, and… An interesting answer to a question I have often asked. Cool. And now for my contribution, from Todd Rundgren’s We Gotta Get You a Woman “They may be stupid but they sure are fun” That’s just wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2004, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/119 "2004-10-24T01:59:04Z")
> [@DKW](#): > > We Built This City > Aside from the obvious issue of what the freak this song is about, I have to ask…_San Francisco_ was built on rock 'n roll?? For crying out loud, at least go with something remotely plasuible! “Memphis” ring a bell? Perhaps it would make more sense if you, like Grace Slick, had been in Jefferson Airplane. There’s no denying that the song sucks, though. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2004, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/120 "2004-10-24T02:05:31Z")
> [@Dewey Cheatem Undhow](#): > > That freakin’ Dido song about going down with the ship (don’t know the title). Her protestations to the contrary notwithstanding, you just know the singer-character’s going to eventually snap and go all _Fatal Attraction_ on the guy she’s singing about. I disagree. To me, she’s saying, “Hey, look. I fucked up a lot during the relationship, and I know that we have no chance of ever making it work because of that. However, I still love you, and I probably always will.” I don’t really see the stalker-thing. Not yet, anyway. What about _Second Chance_ by .38 Special? The singer has cheated on his SO, and his justification is “I never loved her. I never needed her. **She was willing, and that’s all there is to say** ” Bolding mine. But, I remember thinking when I was a kid, and the song first came out, why was the singer willing if he cares so much for his SO? **Queen Tonya** ’s mention of Three Days Grace (“I must be running out of luck/'Cause you’re just not drunk enough to f\*\*\*”) makes me think of “Miami,” by Counting Crows. Example: “It just gets hard to believe that God sent this angel to watch over me 'Cause my angel, she don’t receive my calls Says I’m too dumb to fuck, too dumb to fight, too dumb to save” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580.md?page=7)