# Songs that are just plain wrong **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 22, 2004, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580 "2004-10-22T11:50:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/161 "2004-10-25T08:18:56Z")
**Abba** , \*Waterloo \*: “At Waterloo, Napoleon did surrender …” Bzzzzt - wrong! He was defeated there, yes, but did not surrender for weeks afterwards. ---
**Author:** ![legion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/838e76/32.png) [@legion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legion)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/162 "2004-10-25T10:03:58Z")
Ralph McTell - Streets of London "Have you seen the old man In the closed down market Kicking up the papers with his worn out shoes In his eyes you see no pride Hands held loosely at his side Yesterday’s paper, telling yesterday’s news " Hey, Ralph, yesterday’s paper contains _the day before yesterday’s_ news! ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/163 "2004-10-25T10:41:33Z")
> [@Starving Artist](#): > > Yep. And Santa Catalina isn’t 26 miles from L.A. either. Yes it is! Unless you’re measuring from downtown…but the lyric goes, _“Twenty-six miles across the sea.”_ Which is correct. (On the other hand, _“A tropical heaven covered with trees and girls”_ is dead wrong.) Hmm…somebody already mentioned “Little Girls”, so I’ll go with a plain old incorrect, boringly non-creepy one. I’m always bugged by that line in Gerry Rafferty’s “Right Down The Line” which goes: _“You’re as constant as the Northern Star, the brightest light that shines.”_ Excuse me?! Polaris is NOT the brightest star in the northern sky, it’s like 50th brightest or something. And due to a wobble in the Earth’s rotational axis, the Northern Star will shift from Polaris to Vega in 25,000 years, so it’s not that constant either!!! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/164 "2004-10-25T13:14:36Z")
In “Take That Look Off Your Face,” Don Black has an English woman living in New York’s infamous line “He’s doing some deal up in Baltimore now…” Bernadette Peters changed it to “down” in the Broadway version. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/165 "2004-10-25T13:57:15Z")
> [@KGS](#): > > Excuse me?! Polaris is NOT the brightest star in the northern sky, it’s like 50th brightest or something. And due to a wobble in the Earth’s rotational axis, the Northern Star will shift from Polaris to Vega in 25,000 years, so it’s not that constant either!!! If a woman stays with me for 25,000 years, that’s constant enough for me. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/166 "2004-10-25T17:35:24Z")
> [@KGS](#): > > Yes it is! Unless you’re measuring from downtown…but the lyric goes, _“Twenty-six miles across the sea.”_ Which is correct. (On the other hand, _“A tropical heaven covered with trees and girls”_ is dead wrong.) Well, not to quibble over such a minor point, but I was sure I’d seen or heard one of the Four Preps at one time commenting on the fact that Catalina Island wasn’t actually twenty-six miles from the coast, but that for some reason it must have sounded more mellifluous to the songwriters so they went with that. So, I Googled it and came up with several tourist companies that run boats back and forth, as well as the Encyclopedia Brittanica, all of which show the distance to be twenty-two miles. ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/167 "2004-10-25T19:42:30Z")
> [@Starving Artist](#): > > Well, not to quibble over such a minor point, but I was sure I’d seen or heard one of the Four Preps at one time commenting on the fact that Catalina Island wasn’t actually twenty-six miles from the coast, but that for some reason it must have sounded more mellifluous to the songwriters so they went with that. So, I Googled it and came up with several tourist companies that run boats back and forth, as well as the Encyclopedia Brittanica, all of which show the distance to be twenty-two miles. I measured it on the road atlas and…umm…well, the _ferry ride_ from San Pedro to Avalon is approx. 26 miles. So I claim a tie on this one. ;j ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/168 "2004-10-25T20:49:20Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > Oh, goodness, _The Plan_! Excellent, excellent addition! And why would it be? I’m not familiar with this little ditty. ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/169 "2004-10-25T21:21:19Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > That’s a cover of a traditional blues song. I think Willie Dixon is the original author. Anyway, how dirty the song really is seems to depend on which version you look at. Blues lyrics have a habit of changing dramatically when different people do them. The versions of this one that I’m used to make it clear it’s about a younger woman, but not THAT young. And it takes on an entirely different note when _Good morning, little schoolgirl_ is sung by Jonny Lang. He was what? 17? when he recorded it? I can just see him daydreaming about a 16 or 17 year old girl in his highschool, all done up in her school uniform, and singing this song. In that case, it seems almost normal. ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/170 "2004-10-25T21:37:07Z")
> [@melondeca](#): > > …_Every Breath You Take_ would be a good example of this. I always chuckle to myself and wish people good luck when they talk about how “romantic” this song is… As is REM’s “The One I Love” > [@](#): > > …A simple prop - to occupy my time > This one goes out to the one I ‘love’ > Fireaaahh! Am I supposed to be swooning or dodging bullets? Fire! With a gun - or is this some kind of cannonball salute? ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/171 "2004-10-25T21:49:11Z")
> [@DKW](#): > > YMCA > Through the roughly 500 billion times I’ve heard this song played, I’ve always wondered…has hooking up with gay guys at the local YMCA _ever_ been common practice, let alone now? Well, not anymore it ain’t. But in the pre-Stonewall era, yeah, YMCA’s in some large metropolitan areas DID have the reputation of being gay cruising areas. The YMCA provided single-occupancy rooms for young men who ostensibly had no famlilial connections to fall back on (guys new to the city) and forbade women as guests in rooms, but did allow male visitors. They were employed by gay guys as places to “trick” (have quickee sex), and not a few of those young out-of-town guys were gays looking to escape being “doomed” to a life of passing-as-hetero. (One legendary “gay” YMCA on 23rd street in Manhattan has recently been changed into a ‘David Barton’ gym with a heavly gay clientele.) So, yeah, the song is factually right. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/172 "2004-10-25T21:49:32Z")
> [@Sample\_the\_Dog](#): > > Maybe Bill Withers could tell her: Or Kylie Minogue could respond with her profound philosophical dissertation that goes a little something like this: na na na, na na na na na, na na na, na na na na na, na na na, na na na na naa, na na na, na na na na na ---
**Author:** ![kevja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/aeb1de/32.png) [@kevja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevja)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/173 "2004-10-25T22:15:02Z")
[QUOTE= YMCA Through the roughly 500 billion times I’ve heard this song played, I’ve always wondered…has hooking up with gay guys at the local YMCA _ever_ been common practice, let alone now? [/QUOTE] I can’t speak for all YMCAs, bit the downtown San Francisco YMCA has quite a reputation for hook ups. Yes even now. AIDS has been with us for over 20 years. And remember, safe sex does not spread AIDS. Unprotected sex can. And it’s not an orgy in the steam room. There is a certain amount of discretion. Often it’s an excahange of phone numbers with someone you met while working out. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Death](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecccb3/32.png) [@Evil\_Death](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Death)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/174 "2004-10-25T22:41:47Z")
> [@kevja](#): > > I can’t speak for all YMCAs, bit the downtown San Francisco YMCA has quite a reputation for hook ups. There’s a bar in San Francisco called The Tongue and Groove. Why the hell do they need to hook up at the Y? ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/175 "2004-10-25T22:44:52Z")
For “just plain wrong”, howsabout Johnny Rotten belting out “We’re so pretty, oh, so pretty!” Or Michael Jackson’s macho posturing… “I’m bad!” Then again, to pick up a previous theme on this thread, that song also contains the lines “Your butt is mine… You’re not a man.” ::Puts on flak helmet, ducks into foxhole:: ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/176 "2004-10-25T23:07:03Z")
> [@Sample\_the\_Dog](#): > > For “just plain wrong”, howsabout Johnny Rotten belting out “We’re so pretty, oh, so pretty!” > > Or Michael Jackson’s macho posturing… “I’m bad!” > > Then again, to pick up a previous theme on this thread, that song also contains the lines “Your butt is mine… You’re not a man.” > > ::Puts on flak helmet, ducks into foxhole:: Prince was supposedly asked to appear in the video instead of Wesley Snipes, and tersely declined. Reportedly the idea of being opposite The King of Pop while he lipsynched “your butt is mine” was, to His Royal Badness, something of a disincentive. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/177 "2004-10-25T23:16:37Z")
Boy George singing the line, “I’m a man who doesn’t know how to sell a contradiction” from “Karma Chameleon”. Uh, Boy? (may I call you Boy?) Have you looked in a mirror lately? ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/178 "2004-10-26T00:19:09Z")
> [@KGS](#): > > I measured it on the road atlas and…umm…well, the _ferry ride_ from San Pedro to Avalon is approx. 26 miles. So I claim a tie on this one. ;j I think I may have discovered the reason for the discrepancy. There are 5,280 feet in a land mile, and 6,076.1155 feet in a nautical mile. This works out to roughly 26 land miles, or 22 nautical miles. Perhaps the songwriters were going by land miles and the encyclopedia and tourist companies were measuring by nautical miles. So, you’re correct, it’s a tie; we’re both right. 🙂 Yay, us. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/179 "2004-10-26T00:31:47Z")
> [@Evil Death](#): > > There’s a bar in San Francisco called The Tongue and Groove. Why the hell do they need to hook up at the Y? But the Tongue and Groove is a straight bar/club 🙂 To show paedophilic ideas are not just from dirty old men, I give you [Kate Bush: Infant Kiss](http://www.alwaysontherun.net/kate.htm#aah) I’ve never fallen for A little boy before. No control. Just a kid and just at school. Back home they’d call me dirty. His little hand is on my heart. He’s got me where it hurts me. Knock, knock. Who’s there in this baby? You know how to work me. ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580/180 "2004-10-26T00:47:38Z")
And Mr. Croce seems to believe trees and wild animals have names. _Like the pine trees lining the winding road I’ve got a name, I’ve got a name. Like the singing bird and the croaking toad I’ve got a name, I’ve got a name. And I carry it with me like my daddy did._ A man’s gotta know when to lay off the weed. (But hey, at least he wasn’t content just to refer to them as “trees and birds and rocks and things” like SOME OTHER PEOPLE I COULD MENTION.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-just-plain-wrong/270580.md?page=10)