# Songs that are letters

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-letters/458971>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [August 6, 2008, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-letters/458971 "2008-08-06T00:09:25Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\
**Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-letters/458971/61 "2008-08-10T14:53:20Z")

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oopsie

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**Author:** ![Labdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Labdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labdad)\
**Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-letters/458971/62 "2008-08-10T16:28:59Z")

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How about “Dear Abby” by John Prine? It’s a bunch of letters written to Dear Abby, with Abby’s identical response to all letters. For example:

Dear Abby, Dear Abby,  
My feet are too long  
My hair’s falling out and my rights are all wrong  
My friends they all tell me that I’ve no friends at all  
Won’t you write me a letter, Won’t you give me a call  
Signed  
Bewildered

Bewildered, Bewildered,  
You have no complaint  
You are what your are and you ain’t what you ain’t  
So listen up Buster, and listen up good  
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood  
Signed  
Dear Abby

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**Author:** ![Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f19dbf/32.png) [@Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Only_Mostly_Dead)\
**Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-letters/458971/63 "2008-08-10T16:33:35Z")

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Not exactly a nationally known act, but they’re pretty big in the mid-Atlantic:

Kelly Bell Band “[Dear Maggie](http://phatblues.com/cgi-bin/lyrics.cgi?song=DearMaggie)”

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**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\
**Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-letters/458971/64 "2008-08-10T16:39:41Z")

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No one mentioned the intro to _You Made Me Love You_ written especially for Judy Garland to sing?

Uncle Bonsai’s [The Letter](http://www.yellowtailrecords.com/ub/apology.htm#letter) seems more of an email, but that should count

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**Author:** ![AuntPam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@AuntPam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntPam)\
**Post date:** [August 11, 2008, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-are-letters/458971/65 "2008-08-11T01:11:24Z")

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The Sick Note.

Dear sir, I write this letter to tell you of my plight  
And at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight:  
My body, it’s all black and blue, my face a ghastly grey.  
I write this note to tell you why [Paddy’s] not at work today…

Followed by the long improbable story of an Irish workman trying to haul bricks up to the 14th floor in a barrel. I understand Mythbusters demolished the factual (?) underpinnings, but it’s still a great comic song.

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