# Songs that can't do grammar no more **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 7, 2013, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-cant-do-grammar-no-more/649536 "2013-02-07T01:58:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-cant-do-grammar-no-more/649536/21 "2013-02-07T08:25:01Z")
I like to distinguish between lyrics where the bad grammar is essential to the song and those where the songwriter is just lazy or incompetent. _Old Man River_ is an example of the former - in Show Boat the subject is an uneducated laborer lamenting his fate. Other examples where bad grammar is essential include Dylan’s _Lay, Lady, Lay_: Lay, lady, lay, Lay across my big brass bed. With proper grammar it would be: Lie, lady, lie, Lie across my big brass bed. This loses the alliteration, and also the double-meaning of “lay.” Or consider Paul Simon’s _Kodachrome_: When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school, It’s a wonder I can think at all. And though my lack of education hasn’t hurt me none, I can read the writing on the wall. The bad grammar of “hasn’t hurt me none” underscores the subject’s lack of education. I would put _A Horse with No Name_ in the lazy, incompetent category. The whole song feels to me like it was slapped together - the lyrics don’t flow, and much of the melody consists of two notes. The song isn’t crafted well enough for me to believe the bad grammar was chosen for effect. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-cant-do-grammar-no-more/649536/22 "2013-02-07T08:38:17Z")
> [@Jeff\_Lichtman](#): > > … > I would put _A Horse with No Name_ in the lazy, incompetent category. The whole song feels to me like it was slapped together - the lyrics don’t flow, and much of the melody consists of two notes. The song isn’t crafted well enough for me to believe the bad grammar was chosen for effect. Seriously. How long does it take to slap a name on a horse? ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-cant-do-grammar-no-more/649536/23 "2013-02-07T12:48:45Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > More from the world’s worst lyricists: > > “But Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man that he didn’t, didn’t already have. > And Cause never was the reason for the evening > Or the tropic of Sir Galahad” > > “But it doesn’t mean you ain’t been on my mind” > > "He flies the sky like an eagle in the eye, > Of a hurricane that’s abandoned " > > “Sometimes late when things are real > And people share the gift of gab between themselves” Alligator lizards in the air! ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-cant-do-grammar-no-more/649536/24 "2013-02-07T13:14:16Z")
> [@Mr\_Downtown](#): > > \*In this ever-changing world in which we live in . . . \* > “Live and Let Die” A lost cause, I know, but the correct line is “But _ **if** _ this ever-changing world in which _ **we’re livin’** _ Makes you give in and cry…” ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-cant-do-grammar-no-more/649536/25 "2013-02-07T13:30:31Z")
In the vein of the OP, I think of the Cop Shoot Cop lyric: “And the roaches won’t do my laundry no more (/and the rats refuse to fix the hole in the floor)” Other grammar problems… KISS’s “Goin’ Blind”: > [@](#): > > Little lady, can’t you see > You’re so young and so much different than I It should be “different from me”. And “so much different” sounds weird to me. This one is shameful because Sting used to be an English teacher – from “Island of Souls” and repeated in “The Soul Cages”: > [@](#): > > He dreamed of the ship on the sea > It would carry his father and **he** > To a place they could never be found > To a place far away from this town Fine, it’s clear he just needed a rhyme, but oh, for shame. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-cant-do-grammar-no-more/649536/26 "2013-02-07T15:57:00Z")
I’m surprised we’ve gotten this far with no mention of Mr. Steve Miller: _Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas You know he knows just exactly what the facts is_ Slaughtered grammar, for the sake of a bad attempt at a rhyme. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-cant-do-grammar-no-more/649536/27 "2013-02-07T15:59:19Z")
“Heaven and Earth” by the Platters (#39 U.S., June 1956): Oh, heaven on earth, no need in waiting, waiting until I die Heaven on earth, that’s what you’ve made, a heaven for you and I A heaven for you and I (For you and I) ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-cant-do-grammar-no-more/649536/28 "2013-02-07T16:15:52Z")
How about the chorus to Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the U.S.A.”? This is my number one contender for greatest concentration of grammatical errors in one location. “And I’m proud to be an American Where at least I know I’m free And I won’t forget the men who died Who gave that right to me And I gladly stand up next to you And defend her still today 'Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land God Bless the U.S.A.” How many can you spot? Here’s my list. (Admittedly some of these are nitpicky, but the first two really bug me.) 1. “an American” is not a place. 2. What right? 3. Should be “I’d gladly”. (Maybe it really is, and the lyrics sites I looked at are wrong.) 4. “Ain’t no doubt”. Forgivable because this is, after all, a _country_ song. 5. Run-on sentence; too many ands (or too many sentences starting with “and”). ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-cant-do-grammar-no-more/649536/29 "2013-02-07T16:22:49Z")
> [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#): > > A lost cause, I know, but the correct line is > > “But _ **if** _ this ever-changing world in which _ **we’re livin’** _ > Makes you give in and cry…” Nope. The screwed-up-edness of the lyrics is too blatant for revisionists to attempt to alter at this late date. But c’mon folks - if you don’t use the people’s grammer in your lyrics, you ain’t got that street cred no more. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-cant-do-grammar-no-more/649536/30 "2013-02-07T17:04:53Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Nope. The screwed-up-edness of the lyrics is too blatant for revisionists to attempt to alter at this late date. Phooey. You probably kiss this guy in the bathroom on the right, too. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-cant-do-grammar-no-more/649536/31 "2013-02-07T17:21:16Z")
Sweet Brown’s song [Ain’t Nobody Got Time fo’ Dat!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFEoMO0pc7k) ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-cant-do-grammar-no-more/649536/32 "2013-02-07T17:22:17Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > I’m surprised we’ve gotten this far with no mention of Mr. Steve Miller: > > _Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas > You know he knows just exactly what the facts is_ > > Slaughtered grammar, for the sake of a bad attempt at a rhyme. Perhaps you simply fail to understand the pompitous of love. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-cant-do-grammar-no-more/649536/33 "2013-02-07T17:28:39Z")
> [@Maserschmidt](#): > > Perhaps you simply fail to understand the pompitous of love. That must be it! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-cant-do-grammar-no-more/649536/34 "2013-02-07T17:32:59Z")
John Mellencamp wants a lover that won’t drive him crazy, so he wants to love an inanimate object? Would he prefer a lover who wouldn’t drive him crazy? Joan Osborne’s “What if God Was One of us?” She should have asked “[What if God Were One of Us?](http://evanjacobs.org/2010/01/27/why-joan-osbornes-what-if-god-was-one-of-us-is-a-stupid-song/)” ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-cant-do-grammar-no-more/649536/35 "2013-02-07T17:45:34Z")
> [@Mr\_Downtown](#): > > \*In this ever-changing world in which we live in . . . \* > “Live and Let Die” John Cougar: I cannot forget from where it is that I come from ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-cant-do-grammar-no-more/649536/36 "2013-02-07T18:35:30Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > John Cougar: I cannot forget from where it is that I come from Bob Dylan: “If you’re looking to get silly you better go back to from where you came” – _Just Like Tom Thumb’s Blues_ ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-cant-do-grammar-no-more/649536/37 "2013-02-07T18:55:41Z")
Peter Frampton “I Can’t Take It No More.” ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-cant-do-grammar-no-more/649536/38 "2013-02-07T19:44:27Z")
Tom Petty: “Don’t come around here no more.” ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-cant-do-grammar-no-more/649536/39 "2013-02-07T19:49:41Z")
> [@cjepson](#): > > 1. “an American” is not a place. Bwuh? “An American” describes a person, which is what he is, and he’s proud of it. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-cant-do-grammar-no-more/649536/40 "2013-02-07T19:53:47Z")
But he’s saying that > [@](#): > > And I’m proud to be an American > Where at least I know I’m free : The “Where” modifies “An American”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-cant-do-grammar-no-more/649536.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-cant-do-grammar-no-more/649536.md?page=3)