# Songs that make you want to stick pencils in your ears

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [June 27, 2019, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163 "2019-06-27T16:21:41Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 11

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**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\
**Post date:** [July 26, 2019, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/201 "2019-07-26T13:32:54Z")

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> [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](#):
>
> _ **I’ve Never Been to Me** _ - Charlene (Possibly the worst lyrics in the history of Western Civilization

I think she gets some competition from Gordon Lightfoot’s _ **Sundown** _

I’ve been undressed by kings  
And I’ve seen some things  
That a woman ain’t supposed to see.  
I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me.

vs.

She’s been looking like a queen  
In a sailor’s dream  
And she don’t always say what she really means.  
Sundown you better take care  
If I find you been creeping down my back stair.

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**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\
**Post date:** [July 26, 2019, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/202 "2019-07-26T14:01:16Z")

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> [@JohnT](#):
>
> This song has the immortal lyric “There’s only one of you. That’s the funnest part of you.” Just brilliant, that, rhyming “you” with “you”.

“you” and “you” is not the rhyme in those lines…“one” and “fun” are. It’s like people never heard of internal rhyme.

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**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\
**Post date:** [July 26, 2019, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/203 "2019-07-26T15:04:57Z")

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> [@Annie-Xmas](#):
>
> I think she gets some competition from Gordon Lightfoot’s _ **Sundown** _
> 
> I’ve been undressed by kings  
> And I’ve seen some things  
> That a woman ain’t supposed to see.  
> I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me.
> 
> vs.
> 
> She’s been looking like a queen  
> In a sailor’s dream  
> And she don’t always say what she really means.  
> Sundown you better take care  
> If I find you been creeping down my back stair.

Both are mere amateurs when compared to the ineptitude from the mind of Kanye West:  
_Drop it to the floor, make that ass shake  
Whoa, make the ground move, that’s an ass’quake  
Built a house up on that ass, that’s an ass’state  
Roll my weed on it, that’s an ass’tray_

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**Author:** ![Ellis\_Aponte\_Jr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@Ellis\_Aponte\_Jr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellis_Aponte_Jr)\
**Post date:** [July 26, 2019, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/204 "2019-07-26T16:33:56Z")

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> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#):
>
> One Hell of a Woman – Mac Davis
> 
> _She’s one hell of a woman  
> Young, strong and tame_ _Puke Smiley_

I know this song from Vikki Carr’s version, in which she sings this line, “Young, strong, and tan” which I alway thought was funny - boasting about your tan.

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