# Songs that make you want to stick pencils in your ears **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 27, 2019, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163 "2019-06-27T16:21:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2019, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/81 "2019-06-29T03:46:37Z")
> [@Grestarian](#): > > Are you talking about …well…90% of her catalogue because that’s just her vocal range or are you talking about that disgusting let’s show the world I’m (not) just as good as Olivia Newton-John and remake her “Loving You” and butcher the signature aria? Sure you mean “If Not for You” instead of “Loving You”\*? 😕 \*To be honest, I have no idea which one she butchered. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2019, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/82 "2019-06-29T04:58:07Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > “Hot for Teacher” - Van Halen. Generally I like Van Halen, but this…ew. > > “It’s My Party” and “Judy’s Turn to Cry”, especially the latter. WTF, the guy left you for your best friend, and you’re taking him BACK??? Kick his ass to the curb, girl! On a related note, “Second Chance” by .38 Special. Whatever that one mistake was that you made, she’s gone as a result, and she’s not coming back. ---
**Author:** ![gkster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gkster/32/14107_2.png) [@gkster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gkster)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2019, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/83 "2019-06-29T05:14:36Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > And I can’t stand Rush either. 😉 Guess who was on the radio when we were driving home? I don’t remember ever hearing Rush before, but a song came on with an interesting instrumental intro, and then a voice that was like nails on a chalkboard. I asked hubby “What on earth _is_ that?!” and he said it was Rush. So now you can add me to the can’t stand Rush group. ---
**Author:** ![california\_jobcase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@california\_jobcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/california_jobcase)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2019, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/84 "2019-06-29T05:42:03Z")
> [@BrickBat](#): > > It’s also been my observation that those people who love this song ( still today ) tend to be immature airheads. _Paradise by the Dashboard Lights_ is just a goofy, fun, shaggy dog story of a song. I like watching people’s reaction to “and now I’m praying for the end of time” when it’s the first time they hear it. Now, for songs I still hear and truly despise, I submit _Free Bird_, _Turn the Page_, _Like a Rock_, and _Roundabout_. I liked Free Bird and Roundabout the first few times I heard them, but not so with the Seger songs. ---
**Author:** ![LLCoolL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llcooll/32/3596_2.png) [@LLCoolL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LLCoolL)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2019, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/85 "2019-06-29T09:01:09Z")
> [@xizor](#): > > I don’t know the name of the song, but there is something by Mariah Carey where she starts screeching in the middle of the song trying to get as high pitched as possible, perhaps to break a wine glass. That’s probably “Dreamlover”. Of her entire repertoire, I like maybe two of Mariah’s songs, and that’s one of them. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![LLCoolL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llcooll/32/3596_2.png) [@LLCoolL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LLCoolL)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2019, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/86 "2019-06-29T10:09:11Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > The Doobie Brothers’ “Music Is The Doctor” and the Beach Boys’ “Kokomo” are … the worst songs that won’t go away. Those were horrible “comeback” songs by once good bands, that somehow climbed the charts. Allow me to add to the list: “The Flame” by Cheap Trick. Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2019, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/87 "2019-06-29T13:56:44Z")
_Umbrella_ by Rihanna. The song grates all the way through, but the umbrella -ella-ella -ella -eh -eh… is genetically designed for ear penciling. Just awful. I get that umbrella is an interesting word, even though it may be the most basic U word of all. A kid’s alphabet book probably has “A is for Apple, B is for Boy, … U is for Umbrella.” It comes from the Latin _umbra_, meaning shade. Other umbra- words like umbrage are not common in everday vocabulary. So I have no problem with anyone who thinks the word umbrella deserves a song. It does. However if I was writing a song focusing on “umbrella,” I would emphasize the umbr- part of the word, which is the part of the word that is unusual and deserves the attention. The ella is fairly standard and less interesting, but that’s where Rihanna’s notice goes, abandoning the umbr- for the increasingly annoying repeat and repeat of the -ella before several unpleasing eh grunts. Consider another common but intriguing U-word : Unicorn. It conjures up images of magic and fantasy and innocence and freedom. There’s a song waiting still to be written about Unicorn. But if you picked a section of that word to play around and repeat in song, you’d likely go with the -corn because while uni- is a fairly standard prefix, the corn when not referring to a kernel is different. That’s where the fun in unicorn is. And the Umbr- is the fun in umbrella. Not the -ella. Umbrellas act as protection, and the idea of lovers together, sharing a shield from the rain (the bad things and pressures of the real world), is a nice image. But somehow outside of\* Mary Poppins\* and a few old black and white movies (where a crowd outside a building during a heavy rain is an eye-catching sea of umbrellas), the umbrella has not received its due in the arts (I’m looking at you disappointing _Umbrella Acadamy_ on Netflix). And this song is the worst example of that failure. ---
**Author:** ![ZonexandScout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zonexandscout/32/544_2.png) [@ZonexandScout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZonexandScout)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2019, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/88 "2019-06-29T15:19:11Z")
> [@LLCoolL](#): > > Those were horrible “comeback” songs by once good bands, that somehow climbed the charts. Allow me to add to the list: “The Flame” by Cheap Trick. Ugh. In all fairness, CT was pretty uncomfortable with the pressure put on them by the record company to do this song. (They did not write it.) In interviews, they’ve made it clear that they have come to terms with it, especially since they are expected to perform it, but that it is not one they are particularly proud of. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2019, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/89 "2019-06-29T15:52:04Z")
You may want to tar and feather me but lee Hreenwoods GB USA gets on my nerves! ---
**Author:** ![Periwinkle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Periwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Periwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2019, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/90 "2019-06-29T16:43:27Z")
“If I Die Young” by The Band Perry. I just hate it. “Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing”. The Aerosmith caterwauling is bad enough but this is a popular one for butchering on singing competition shows too. ---
**Author:** ![LLCoolL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llcooll/32/3596_2.png) [@LLCoolL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LLCoolL)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2019, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/91 "2019-06-29T18:52:31Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > …“It’s My Party” and “Judy’s Turn to Cry”, especially the latter. WTF, the guy left you for your best friend, and you’re taking him BACK??? Kick his ass to the curb, girl! Sounds like male wish fulfillment: “two girls fighting over me - cool!” But the song was written by two women - Beverly Ross and Edna Lewis. According to Wikipedia, “Judy’s Turn to Cry” was a ‘sequel’ of sorts to “It’s My Party”. In the latter song, the protagonist’s boyfriend leaves her for Judy. In the sequel, she gets him back. Teenage soap opera. ---
**Author:** ![LLCoolL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llcooll/32/3596_2.png) [@LLCoolL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LLCoolL)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2019, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/92 "2019-06-29T18:56:36Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > I don’t mind the music but, hell yes, that “we’re rebels” and “they” can’t keep us down bullshit always ruins a song for me. > > Several years ago Muse had a hit with the song _Uprising_(oh please :rolleyes:) which I always thought was called Victorious. Great, energetic music but this > > “They will not force us > They will stop degrading us > They will not control us > We will be victorious > (So come on)” > > just pisses me off for some reason. Many Muse songs have very bombastic lyrics like this. It’s their thing. Although I suppose you don’t have to like it. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2019, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/93 "2019-06-29T20:17:05Z")
> [@california\_jobcase](#): > > _Paradise by the Dashboard Lights_ is just a goofy, fun, shaggy dog story of a song. That’s how I feel about it too. > [@](#): > > Now, for songs I still hear and truly despise, I submit _Free Bird_, _Turn the Page_, _Like a Rock_, and _Roundabout_. I liked Free Bird and Roundabout the first few times I heard them, but not so with the Seger songs. “Turn the Page,” yes: _Most times you can’t hear 'em talk, other times you can All the same old cliches, “Is that a woman or a man?”_ The real problem with this song is that that ‘same old cliche’ _hasn’t been a cliche for decades_. So I propose a category: Songs from ‘The Sixties’\* Which Take Themselves Way Too Seriously, But Seem Stupid Now That The Sixties Are Long Gone. “Turn the Page” is an example, but I’m _really_ thinking of songs like Buffalo Springfield’s “For What It’s Worth” or Barry McGuire’s “Eve of Destruction.” I was still hearing these songs on the radio until I stopped listening to ‘Classic Rock’ stations four or five years ago. There may be an argument that they’re once again relevant in the Age of Trump, but nah, they don’t fit. Let someone write _new_ songs to capture the madness of this particular era. \*‘The Sixties’ as a cultural mood really extended into the early 1970s. People used to debate when they really ended. it’s not important. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2019, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/94 "2019-06-29T20:22:38Z")
> [@Periwinkle](#): > > “If I Die Young” by The Band Perry. I just hate it. OTOH, I’m kind of amused by the mini-trend in band names they seem to have started. The Band Perry, not to be confused with the platypus Perry. Portugal the Man, as distinct from Portugal the European country. And lovelytheband, making sure nobody mixes them up with lovelytheadjective. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2019, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/95 "2019-06-29T20:29:17Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > it definitely a “gopher” song. I gopher the knob as soon as it comes on. Of course, the original ‘gopher’ song was Hall & Oates’ “I Can’t Gopher That (No Can Do).” 😉 Bad pun aside, if I was still listening to classic rock station, I’d gopher the button the moment that one came on. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2019, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/96 "2019-06-29T21:13:00Z")
> [@chela](#): > > You may want to tar and feather me but lee Hreenwoods GB USA gets on my nerves! I hated that song long before 9/11. ---
**Author:** ![DinoR](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dinor/32/2821_2.png) [@DinoR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DinoR)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2019, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/97 "2019-06-29T21:22:24Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > the Beach Boys’ “Kokomo” … the worst song that won’t go away. This. I actually managed to avoid hearing it all the way through when it was still on the charts and getting maximum airplay. It’s wasn’t quite as extreme as literal pencils in the ears. I did walk out of rooms a couple time when it started playing, though. Damn thing got me a couple years later. It started at a time when I couldn’t politely disengage or jump out the nearest window. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2019, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/98 "2019-06-29T21:27:36Z")
“Don’t worry, be happy” “Shiny happy people” That rock ballad about the guy that loses his girlfriend in a vehicle accident and wants to die and go to “heaven” to meet her Any religious song, rock or otherwise Rap/trance/techno/dubstep Any ‘70’s pop/disco Other than that, I’m good 😉 So basically, I like rock/metal/classical/some non-sappy country/jazz/some R&B ---
**Author:** ![LLCoolL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llcooll/32/3596_2.png) [@LLCoolL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LLCoolL)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2019, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/99 "2019-06-30T02:23:00Z")
> [@Biotop](#): > > _Umbrella_ by Rihanna. > > … > > Umbrellas act as protection, and the idea of lovers together, sharing a shield from the rain (the bad things and pressures of the real world), is a nice image. But somehow outside of\* Mary Poppins\* and a few old black and white movies (where a crowd outside a building during a heavy rain is an eye-catching sea of umbrellas), the umbrella has not received its due in the arts (I’m looking at you disappointing _Umbrella Acadamy_ on Netflix). And this song is the worst example of that failure. You missed “Bus Stop” by the Hollies. Opening stanzas: \*Bus stop, wet day She’s there, I say Please share my umbrella Bus stops, bus goes She stays, love grows Under my umbrella All that summer we enjoyed it Wind and rain and shine That umbrella we employed it By August she was mine\* ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2019, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/100 "2019-06-30T02:40:28Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > And lovelytheband, making sure nobody mixes them up with lovelytheadjective. I decided to unequivocally hate lovelytheband when I saw a Yahoo headline “Will lovelytheband save rock and roll?” Will Yahoo always employ fecal matter to write columns? My all-time hated song is Come on Eilleen, followed closely by Wham’s Wake Me Up Before You Go Go. As far as Starship’s “We Built This City” goes, it wasn’t so much a bad song as it was the ultimate sellout. They allowed a bridge for DJs to plug their own radio stations for Og’s sake. Plus, who was the mulleted doofus who was always pumping a 10 pound dumbbell when the camera showed him? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163.md?page=6)