# Songs that make you want to stick pencils in your ears **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 27, 2019, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163 "2019-06-27T16:21:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2019, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/101 "2019-06-30T02:50:45Z")
For me it is endlessly repetitive songs. Dude looks like a lady? Sure, how about singing some other words for a change? No? Then you’re done now. I’ll turn it off or walk away. Your ‘hook’ is the same 5 notes played over and over with maybe 20 other notes during the entire duration of your song? GTFO. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2019, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/102 "2019-06-30T04:44:48Z")
I’m astounded by songs so many of you hate that I actually enjoy. I love “Uprising” by Muse! ---
**Author:** ![LLCoolL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/llcooll/32/3596_2.png) [@LLCoolL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LLCoolL)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2019, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/103 "2019-06-30T06:54:04Z")
> [@MacTech](#): > > …That rock ballad about the guy that loses his girlfriend in a vehicle accident and wants to die and go to “heaven” to meet her … That would be “Last Kiss”, recorded by a number of artists. Most prominently J. Frank Wilson and the Cavaliers (#2 hit in 1964), and Pearl Jam (#2 again in 1999). ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2019, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/104 "2019-06-30T13:44:53Z")
Gwar. Just plain Gwar. Doesn’t matter which song, they’re all the same noise. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2019, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/105 "2019-06-30T16:53:57Z")
You are the wind beneath my wings. In my first year of grad school, I was in student housing and was assigned a Thai roommate who would listen to a walkman and sing along to this song off key. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/106 "2019-07-01T00:17:05Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > I decided to unequivocally hate lovelytheband when I saw a Yahoo headline “Will lovelytheband save rock and roll?” “Rock” Journalists have ruined songs and entire bands for me. Most notably all the headlines to the tune of _“ **OASIS: the NEW Beatles?!?** See page seven!”_ Luckily, I’d already heard a then-hardly-known Springsteen before I read the _“Next Dylan!?!”_ garbage. I’m afraid if I’d seen that (I think it was the cover of _Time,_ fer chrissake) before I heard him, I never would have given him a fair shot. ---
**Author:** ![bmoak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@bmoak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bmoak)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/107 "2019-07-01T03:23:38Z")
When I was a kid, my uncle gave me his old record player and some of his early/mid 70s 45s. Let’s just say he had a fondness for sappy or melodramatic songs from that era… [Playground in My Mind](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BolPQL83hFA) by Clint Holmes. The screechy child chorus (“My name is Michael, I’ve got a nickel…”)is enough to wish for sweet release. [Me and You and a Dog Named Boo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTbBvPoxUkk) by Lobo [The Night Chicago Died](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-L0NpaErkk) by Paper Lace, famous for giving us the East Side of Chicago. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/108 "2019-07-01T04:19:31Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > …As far as Starship’s “We Built This City” goes, it wasn’t so much a bad song as it was the ultimate sellout. They allowed a bridge for DJs to plug their own radio stations for Og’s sake. Plus, who was the mulleted doofus who was always pumping a 10 pound dumbbell when the camera showed him? We had a very funny thread about “We Built This City” a few years back: [Starship's "We Built This City" - Why the hate? - Cafe Society - Straight Dope Message Board](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=533622) > [@Odesio](#): > > I’m astounded by songs so many of you hate that I actually enjoy. I love “Uprising” by Muse! I do, too! ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/109 "2019-07-01T06:52:01Z")
For me, it’s always been “Don’t You Love Me Baby” by The Human League, although to be fair, I also loathe their song “Human”. ---
**Author:** ![PookahMacPhellimey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pookahmacphellimey/32/3175_2.png) [@PookahMacPhellimey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PookahMacPhellimey)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/110 "2019-07-01T12:10:39Z")
Imagine by John Lennon. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/111 "2019-07-01T12:20:12Z")
> [@Saintly\_Loser](#): > > I’ve got a few. > > \ > > And after that, the absolute worst song ever written, “Sometimes When We Touch,” by Dan Hill. Egad. I woke up to this song this morning and it immediately pissed me off :mad: In fact, it instantly occurred to me to add it to this thread 😉 “I’m just another writer Still trapped within my truth A hesitant prize-fighter Still trapped within my youth” WTF is that nonsense all about? ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/112 "2019-07-01T12:52:10Z")
> [@chela](#): > > You may want to tar and feather me but lee Hreenwoods GB USA gets on my nerves! No, everybody hates that song. Let’s tar and feather Lee Greenwood. ---
**Author:** ![Snake\_Plissken\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Snake\_Plissken\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snake_Plissken_1)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/113 "2019-07-01T16:38:56Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > About 33 years ago, when I was in my teens, I realized that my life would be greatly improved if I never heard “Free Bird” ever again. And that very day, I made a rule that I would go to whatever lengths necessary to prevent being exposed to it. As a result, I’ve only had to suffer it about once per decade since then. > I admit, “Free Bird” is not the very worst song in the world. The worst is obviously “Muskrat Love”,\*\* DSYoung\*\*! :mad: And ‘Turn the Page’. Life is too short. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/114 "2019-07-01T16:41:42Z")
“Bleeding Love” by Leona Lewis came on the radio earlier this morning and I lunged for the next-station button. ---
**Author:** ![TimfromNapa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d26b3c/32.png) [@TimfromNapa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TimfromNapa)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/115 "2019-07-01T20:01:09Z")
My picks: Run, Joey Run, David Geddes (looks like at least 2 other votes for that piece of stinky cheese) You Little Trust Maker, The Tymes (I want to stick an icepick through my eye just thinking about it) Having My Baby, Paul Anka (at least one other vote) I Think I love You, David Cassidy (too soon?) Baby’s First Christmas, Connie Francis (total puke) I did not think of it, but I’ll add a vote for Teddy Bear, by Red Sovine. I’ve only heard snippets of it in commercials for a compilation package. I hope I never have to suffer through it in its entirety. ---
**Author:** ![TimfromNapa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d26b3c/32.png) [@TimfromNapa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TimfromNapa)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/116 "2019-07-01T20:05:12Z")
> [@LLCoolL](#): > > That would be “Last Kiss”, recorded by a number of artists. Most prominently J. Frank Wilson and the Cavaliers (#2 hit in 1964), and Pearl Jam (#2 again in 1999). Is it my imagination or did Pearl Jam manipulate their recording so that it sounded like a warped record toward the end? ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/117 "2019-07-01T20:07:02Z")
Escape (The Piña Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes. This song is terrible both musically and lyrically. ---
**Author:** ![Akaj](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/akaj/32/145_2.png) [@Akaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Akaj)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2019, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/118 "2019-07-01T20:58:03Z")
“Cruel to be Kind.” I like Nick Lowe, but what is up with this whining, passive acceptance for emotional abuse? And the hookiness just makes it sound like he’s endorsing that bullshit. Someone (or two) upthread mentioned Rush, I have a favorite cringe moment when, after the incredibly unmusical lyric “endless compromises shatter the illusion of integrity,” Geddy Lee adds "Yeah!’ because, you know, it’s a rock & roll song. I also want to pre-emptively defend “Brandy,” because someone’s bound to bring it up, but I’ve always thought it was a near-perfect (though patronizing) slice of 70s pop-soul. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/119 "2019-07-02T01:11:50Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > Gwar. Just plain Gwar. > > Doesn’t matter which song, they’re all the same noise. GWAR is a comedy troupe with elaborate costumes that happen to play “comedy metal” They’re not _MEANT_ to be taken seriously, they’re more along the lines of “Weird Al”, except Al is far more talented and funnier. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/120 "2019-07-02T03:11:20Z")
> [@Jeff\_Lichtman](#): > > Escape (The Piña Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes. This song is terrible both musically and lyrically. Oh, God, yes! I played this for my college-age daughter who thought it was the most laughably awful song she’d ever heard. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163.md?page=7)