# Songs that make you want to stick pencils in your ears **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 27, 2019, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163 "2019-06-27T16:21:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/121 "2019-07-02T04:19:08Z")
> [@Akaj](#): > > …I also want to pre-emptively defend “Brandy,” because someone’s bound to bring it up, but I’ve always thought it was a near-perfect (though patronizing) slice of 70s pop-soul. I like “Brandy,” too. Definitely a song of its time, but a sentimental favorite of mine. ---
**Author:** ![Keith1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6de8d8/32.png) [@Keith1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keith1)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/122 "2019-07-02T04:43:44Z")
This is exactly why I don’t own a radio—other than what’s in my car, where I have a satellite radio subscription. I do have a couple thousand CD’s/records. I don’t like music dictated to me, or squeezed into some category. Ever tried to browse disks lately (lately means several years at least). There are so many stupid categories of music how does one separate them all. There’s a ton of crap out there. It will be played on commercial radio. . . In between 10 minute commercial breaks and listening to a moron. There’s tons of good stuff out there as well, by astounding musicians. Sadly you won’t find any of it on your radio dial. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/123 "2019-07-02T12:14:33Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Oh, God, yes! I played this for my college-age daughter who thought it was the most laughably awful song she’d ever heard. Ooooh! Don’t let her miss out on [Undercover Angel](https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=undercover+angel+alan+o%27day)! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/124 "2019-07-02T12:38:18Z")
> [@Jeff\_Lichtman](#): > > Escape (The Piña Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes. This song is terrible both musically and lyrically. Thirded! Just a horrible, horrible, horrible song. My high school girlfriend loved that song, and, at that age, I just kind of went along with it and didn’t really listen too hard to the lyrics or think them through, and just kind of shrugged off the music as breezy, Jimmy Buffet-like island yacht rock. It was a few years later that I heard the song on the radio again and really paid attention to the plot in the lyrics and realized just how god-awful the whole plotline of that song was. And, by then, my musical tastes had shifted enough that the song musically grated like hell on me. ---
**Author:** ![TRC4941](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trc4941/32/6792_2.png) [@TRC4941](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TRC4941)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/125 "2019-07-02T13:57:43Z")
> [@Akaj](#): > > I also want to pre-emptively defend “Brandy,” because someone’s bound to bring it up, but I’ve always thought it was a near-perfect (though patronizing) slice of 70s pop-soul. I agree! Brandy was my favorite song. I still love it and sing along loudly whenever I hear it. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/126 "2019-07-02T14:13:52Z")
> [@Jeff\_Lichtman](#): > > Escape (The Piña Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes. This song is terrible both musically and lyrically. Yes, we’re both cheating scum, but it’s OK because we’re cheating with each other! Da song sux. ---
**Author:** ![Akaj](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/akaj/32/145_2.png) [@Akaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Akaj)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/127 "2019-07-02T14:19:45Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > I like “Brandy,” too. Definitely a song of its time, but a sentimental favorite of mine. Then you might enjoy [Sarah Borges’ “Same Old 45”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzzeHYod-Eg) – a song about listening to that song. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/128 "2019-07-02T14:29:07Z")
> [@Jeff\_Lichtman](#): > > Escape (The Piña Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes. This song is terrible both musically and lyrically. And though I’m nobody’s poet/I thought it wasn’t half bad. Holmes should have asked for a second opinion. ---
**Author:** ![Akaj](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/akaj/32/145_2.png) [@Akaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Akaj)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/129 "2019-07-02T14:48:04Z")
Almost anything by Billy Joel, but especially “Piano Man.” His picture should be next to the word “unctious” in the dictionary. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/130 "2019-07-02T14:55:47Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > “Bleeding Love” by Leona Lewis came on the radio earlier this morning and I lunged for the next-station button. She sounds like she’s singing through her nose or something. I read where Simon Cowell felt so strongly about her grand singing talent, he bought her a house. So it goes in this gross, unjust world. ‘Afternoon Delight’, ‘Love to Love You Baby’, and ‘Wildfire’ , probably already mentioned, still make me cringe. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/131 "2019-07-02T14:59:57Z")
> [@Jeff Lichtman](#): > > Escape (The Piña Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes. This song is terrible both musically and lyrically. I like to sing along with it, and put a different expression in my voice when it comes to the line "and she said, “Oh it’s you”. I get a giggle out of making it sound like she just found out she’d stepped in something. Truthfully, I love seventies cheese. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/132 "2019-07-02T15:03:36Z")
And though I’m nobody’s poet/Maybe someone will adopt me. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/133 "2019-07-02T15:25:10Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/134 "2019-07-02T16:00:26Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Ooooh! Don’t let her miss out on [Undercover Angel](https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=undercover+angel+alan+o%27day)! 😃 Holy crap! Does that bring back memories! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/135 "2019-07-02T16:27:52Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > I like to sing along with it, and put a different expression in my voice when it comes to the line "and she said, “Oh it’s you”. I get a giggle out of making it sound like she just found out she’d stepped in something. > Truthfully, I love seventies cheese. 😃 I know! I love some of the songs that have been named here. Next I suppose someone’s going to dis [You Make Me Feel Like Dancing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YvPwQdJdkc) or, dog forbid, [Heaven on the 7th Floor](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILOBd65vTqs) :dubious: 😛 ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/136 "2019-07-02T16:37:15Z")
This song kept ABBA’s “Money, Money, Money” from reaching No. 1 on the UK charts the final week of 1976. I’ll never forget listening to the radio while standing on a roundabout in freezing rain at one in the morning as I was hitchhiking from Brighton to Cambridge and saying “THIS is NUMBER ONE?!?” :eek: :smack: I ended up walking the last 14 miles into town. Got home around five in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/137 "2019-07-02T16:40:04Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > This song kept ABBA’s “Money, Money, Money” from reaching No. 1 on the UK charts the final week of 1976. I’ll never forget listening to the radio while standing on a roundabout in freezing rain at one in the morning as I was hitchhiking from Brighton to Cambridge and saying “THIS is NUMBER ONE?!?” :eek: :smack: > > I ended up walking the last 14 miles into town. Got home around five in the morning. Oi! You can’t touch The Hutch! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/138 "2019-07-02T17:04:32Z")
> [@Akaj](#): > > Then you might enjoy [Sarah Borges’ “Same Old 45”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzzeHYod-Eg) – a song about listening to that song. Heh. Thanks - never heard that before! > [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Ooooh! Don’t let her miss out on [Undercover Angel](https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=undercover+angel+alan+o%27day)! 😃 I, er… have that song on my iPod. Don’t you judge me! ---
**Author:** ![BrickBat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@BrickBat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrickBat)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/139 "2019-07-02T18:12:09Z")
> [@Keith1](#): > > This is exactly why I don’t own a radio—other than what’s in my car, where I have a satellite radio subscription. I do have a couple thousand CD’s/records. I don’t like music dictated to me, or squeezed into some category. Ever tried to browse disks lately (lately means several years at least). There are so many stupid categories of music how does one separate them all. > There’s a ton of crap out there. It will be played on commercial radio. . . In between 10 minute commercial breaks and listening to a moron. There’s tons of good stuff out there as well, by astounding musicians. Sadly you won’t find any of it on your radio dial. Having to listen to “Classic rock” commercial ( non-satellite ) stations is one big hurl-fest. I just had to endure 7+ hours of a co-worker blaring one such station on his boom-box and I was completely drained by the end of the day. I just can not understand how some people can be so inured by a raging cacaphony of raging idiot DJs and screaming bubbly commercials. It’s like it’s nothing to them. Then there’s the matter that all that time there was 2 or 3 decent tracks at the most that were NOT the same sell-out/corporate rock/yacht-rock schlock that I never like the first time around. Apparently the station programming director firmly believes its audience wish it could be vanilla-land in 1977 forever. ---
**Author:** ![Akaj](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/akaj/32/145_2.png) [@Akaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Akaj)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2019, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163/140 "2019-07-02T18:29:17Z")
> [@BrickBat](#): > > Having to listen to “Classic rock” commercial ( non-satellite ) stations is one big hurl-fest. I just had to endure 7+ hours of a co-worker blaring one such station on his boom-box and I was completely drained by the end of the day. I just can not understand how some people can be so inured by a raging cacaphony of raging idiot DJs and screaming bubbly commercials. It’s like it’s nothing to them. Then there’s the matter that all that time there was 2 or 3 decent tracks at the most that were NOT the same sell-out/corporate rock/yacht-rock schlock that I never like the first time around. > > Apparently the station programming director firmly believes its audience wish it could be vanilla-land in 1977 forever. I have a pet theory that the rise of classic rock radio parallels the rise of today’s cultural conservatism. A whole generation of (mostly) middle and working class whites think everything was perfect back in the early 80s and only want to hear what they loved then. Plus they can sing along with it. The popularity of modern country only confirms this idea. Take away the southern accents, and a lot of it sounds just like 70s and 80s MOR rock. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-make-you-want-to-stick-pencils-in-your-ears/836163.md?page=8)