# Songs that must not be played at all. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 6, 2007, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373 "2007-11-06T02:27:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f07891/32.png) [@Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Plastic_Ninja)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/21 "2007-11-06T03:38:16Z")
_carefully hides her Meat Loaf collection_ I actually own an entertaining version of Seasons In The Sun. When it’s sped up about three times and punked out, it’s rather more enjoyable. That said, if I never hear _Adia_ by Sarah McLachlan again, I will die a happy ninja. It’s not that it’s really a bad song. It’s not that I don’t like McLachlan and her wheezy flat voice. It’s quite charming sometimes. But holy hell, they played that song one out of every five for four years on the same radio station. I punch my radio whenever I hear the song come on again. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/22 "2007-11-06T03:44:44Z")
[QUOTE=mnemosyne] “The joker” - Steve Miller. [/QUOTE] Holy flying fuck, but do I hate that goddamn song. Also “In The Year 2525,” by Zager & Evans. And “Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves. ---
**Author:** ![TripleTee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac8455/32.png) [@TripleTee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TripleTee)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/23 "2007-11-06T03:52:41Z")
“Total Eclipse of the Heart”- Bonnie Tyler has a goat voice. I would rather listen to the vocalizations of farm animals than listen to her sing. And the lyrics are just plain whiney. The title metaphor is pathetic. Every time she sings, “THERE’S NOTHING I CAN SAYYYYY, A TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART!” I just want to get the shotgun and put her out of her misery. “BAH-AH-AH-AH-AH!” _BLAM! BLAM!_ _thump_ ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/24 "2007-11-06T03:53:09Z")
[QUOTE=mnemosyne] “The joker” - Steve Miller. The only song that would guarantee that I’d change the radio channel (back when I lived somewhere where the radio station was worth listening to). It’s just so… horrible. [/QUOTE] Are you… ME? “The Joker” is the worst abomination ever thrust upon mankind. When historians look back at the 1970s, “The Joker” will undoubtedly unseat Watergate as the worst event of the decade. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/25 "2007-11-06T04:02:13Z")
Huh… I had no idea there was so much _Joker_ hate. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/26 "2007-11-06T04:02:20Z")
[QUOTE=An Gadaí] I thought the OP’s song was Centerfold by J. Geils Band and was half thinking “hey, I kinda like that.” [/QUOTE] Now this is a song I hate! ---
**Author:** ![I\_m\_No\_Saint](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/977dab/32.png) [@I\_m\_No\_Saint](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_m_No_Saint)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/27 "2007-11-06T04:04:41Z")
Freebird. Ugh…I just threw up in my mouth a little. ---
**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/28 "2007-11-06T04:05:36Z")
“Timothy” “He Hit Me and it Felt Like a Kiss” If cannibalism and domestic violence didn’t bring the thread down enough, there’s another: _Die Wacht am Rhein_ ---
**Author:** ![Frostillicus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Frostillicus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frostillicus)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/29 "2007-11-06T04:08:35Z")
\*\*Slow Ride \*\* by Foghat. Just shoot me already. ---
**Author:** ![nikonikosuru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@nikonikosuru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nikonikosuru)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/30 "2007-11-06T04:12:45Z")
The “Hey there Delilah something something whine whine whine” song. Ah, apparently it’s called “Hey Delilah” by the Plain White T’s. Has anyone else had the misfortune of hearing it? It’s squeaky, whiney, and the singer sounds like he’s still in the middle of puberty. I don’t know why, but it sends me into an angry rage whenever that song comes on (and of course my family thinks it’s funny so they turn it up even more). It’s like nails on the chalkboard of my soul. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/31 "2007-11-06T04:13:54Z")
_Last Kiss_ by, well, anybody. Also, _Leader of the Pack_, _Tell Laura I Love Her_, and _Teen Angel_. Anybody beginning to see a pattern here? And let’s throw in _Honey_, _I’ve Never Been to Me_, _Havin’ My Baby_, and _Feelings_, in no particular order. ---
**Author:** ![DJ\_Motorbike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90ced4/32.png) [@DJ\_Motorbike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DJ_Motorbike)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/32 "2007-11-06T04:20:52Z")
[QUOTE=It’s Not Rocket Surgery!] Are you… ME? “The Joker” is the worst abomination ever thrust upon mankind. When historians look back at the 1970s, “The Joker” will undoubtedly unseat Watergate as the worst event of the decade. [/QUOTE] No. “The Joker” is a great song. I used hate that song once too so I know where you are coming from. Then, one day, something clicked, and I realized what a rockin’ tune this really is. “I get my lovin’ on the ruuun!” Yeah! Rock on Steve Miller! My additions are “Take the Long Way Home” and “Give a Little Bit” by Supertramp. I hate Supertramp. “American Woman” by the Guess Who can be erased from human history. The remakes by the Goo Goo Dolls :rolleyes: (stupid band name) and Lenny Kravitz respectively can disappear forever too please. Thanks. AC/DC - their entire catalog sucks. Black Sabbath/Ozzy Ozbourne - Go away! I never want to hear of them again. ---
**Author:** ![StuffLikeThatThere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc8723/32.png) [@StuffLikeThatThere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StuffLikeThatThere)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/33 "2007-11-06T04:28:12Z")
You got a brand new pair of rollerskates, I got a brand new key … ---
**Author:** ![Dahnlor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dahnlor/32/533_2.png) [@Dahnlor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dahnlor)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/34 "2007-11-06T04:29:16Z")
I know this thread is about songs most of us would recognize, but when I read the OP I couldn’t help to think of [My Gift To You Is My Words](http://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=118066&songID=1493493) by Black Nova. Even someone who normally enjoys even the rawest black metal should be horrified by this. [QUOTE=Morbo] That “hey now, you’re a rockstar..” song that was used for 99% of every movie trailer a couple years ago. [/QUOTE] That would be “All-Star” by Smash Mouth. I remember a behind-the-scenes thing about the making of Shrek where the producers were trying to figure out what to do with the opening credits and eventually just said “screw it, let’s just go with All Star.” D ---
**Author:** ![buns3000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c89c15/32.png) [@buns3000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buns3000)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/35 "2007-11-06T04:58:04Z")
Some more nominations in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=346153&highlight=songs+lifetime) from a while back. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/36 "2007-11-06T04:59:50Z")
[QUOTE=TripleTee] “Total Eclipse of the Heart”- Bonnie Tyler has a goat voice. I would rather listen to the vocalizations of farm animals than listen to her sing. And the lyrics are just plain whiney. The title metaphor is pathetic. Every time she sings, “THERE’S NOTHING I CAN SAYYYYY, A TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART!” I just want to get the shotgun and put her out of her misery. “BAH-AH-AH-AH-AH!” _BLAM! BLAM!_ _thump_ [/QUOTE] Oh Gods, yes, I hate that fucking song!! And “Barracuda” by Heart. Also deserves to be banished from this planet and all equivalent universes! ---
**Author:** ![Klaatu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Klaatu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Klaatu)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/37 "2007-11-06T05:45:55Z")
“DOA”- Bloodrock. (1971?) Ultimate bummer song. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/38 "2007-11-06T05:49:12Z")
How about _Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft_? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/39 "2007-11-06T05:50:47Z")
A-a-afternoon deelight! ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/40 "2007-11-06T05:54:23Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug] _Seasons in the Sun_. I’m planning to start a foundation to buy every remaining copy of this record and drop 'em all down a radioactive mineshaft. [/QUOTE] This is the only song on the list I wholeheartedly agree with. Sir, your foundation has my undying support. But it’s not enough to destroy every recording of it. We must also erase every digital copy of it from everyone’s hard drive and mp3 player if we want to truly stamp it out. Most of the rest are my favorites. Especially “Working For the Weekend,” “Centerfield,” “Paradise By the Dashboard Light,” and “The Joker.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373.md?page=3)