# Songs that must not be played at all. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 6, 2007, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373 "2007-11-06T02:27:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/61 "2007-11-06T14:32:29Z")
[QUOTE=Labdad] “Horse With No Name” [/QUOTE] I hate this song, but truly because of the line “There were plants and birds and rocks and _things_” Oh, really…There were \*things \* were there? Die in a fire America the band. I woke up this morning with the song “Let’s Hear It For The Boy” by Denise Williams playing full blast in my head so I’m including that one too. Other notable mentions would include “Piano Man” by Billy Joel and every single song by Bruce Springsteen. ---
**Author:** ![jools](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b3f665/32.png) [@jools](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jools)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/62 "2007-11-06T14:52:38Z")
Some of the nominated songs are not actually bad but simply overplayed (some are quite bad). I submit to you songs that most people can agree on: Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus Feelings - Albert Morris Macarena - Los Del Rio Life is life - ??? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/63 "2007-11-06T15:12:33Z")
> [@](#): > > And you can pry “Seasons In The Sun” from my cold dead hands. (which doesn’t sound like it will be much of a problem for most of the planet actually.) I’m a pretty tolerant guy, but I have to admit Terry Jacks’ song is on my hate list. It sounds as if they recorded it, put it on a record with the hole off-center, then played that on a turntable and re-recorded what resulted. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/64 "2007-11-06T15:13:25Z")
[QUOTE=Cluricaun] …and every single song by Bruce Springsteen. [/QUOTE] Really? I’d agree with everything on Born In The U.S.A., but I think his early stuff is terrific. BITUSA is pure drivel. Adding: Everything by Matthew Sweet. (And if you try to convince me his early stuff is great, I just won’t believe you.) ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/65 "2007-11-06T15:14:07Z")
\*Spring was never waiting for us, girl It ran one step ahead As we followed in the dance Between the parted pages We were pressed In love’s hot fevered iron Like a striped pair of pants McArthur Park is melting in the dark… \* ::ducks and runs:: ---
**Author:** ![Aholibah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aholibah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aholibah)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/66 "2007-11-06T15:19:00Z")
I second “Horse with No Name” and “The Joker” – two which immediately sprang to mind as songs that test my reflexes each time they come on the car radio. I will add to the Steve Miller hate: “Fly Like an Eagle.” Intolerable even before the Post Office pounded it into oblivion. In another category, either version of “Blinded by the Light” makes me queasy. I know it’s ‘deuce’ not ‘douche’ but I can’t hear it that way, not least because ‘wrapped up like a deuce’ makes no motherfucking sense to me at all. “Pink Cadillac” will be subject to swift cutoff, but not because it’s nausea-inducing; it just bores the hell out of me no matter who’s singing it. And I’ll concur with an earlier poster, and go further: Me First and the Gimme Gimmes’ version of “Sesasons in the Sun” actually makes life worth living. ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/67 "2007-11-06T15:20:18Z")
The Kingston Trio recorded _Seasons in the Sun_ in 1963. It was so musically perfect that no one has ever dared to besmirch the song’s sublimity by covering it. I know not this “Terry Jacks” person of whom you speak. Oh yes… Neil Diamond should never have been allowed to perform his own songs. He’s a decent songwriter (for the most part), but I’d rather shove icepicks in both ears than listen to him sing. Stabby stabby stabby stabby ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/68 "2007-11-06T15:31:39Z")
I hesitate to point out that a number of these songs that people are talking about I really like: _Brandy_, _The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald_, and _Total Eclipse of the Heart_ all come to mind as songs I’m not going to let you keep me from playing. I will suggest that the entirety of the musical _Cats_ has been over played, and should be locked away in a vault for at least 100 years. Especially _Memories_!. (heads to the flame-proof bunker) ---
**Author:** ![Slypork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc29f/32.png) [@Slypork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slypork)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/69 "2007-11-06T15:49:16Z")
I’ve said it before. **96 Tears** by _? and the Mysterians_. If I got sent to Gitmo, they would only have to play the first bar before I gave up the plans of my terrorist cell, the names and addresses of everyone I knew and any pieces of information I might have learned since I was 2 years old. I would rather watch John Goodman get a rim job from Danny DeVito than listen to this “musical” abortion. Words cannot even begin to describe the level of pain and suffering I wish to inflict upon the anal wart who thought this would be a great piece to play on the radio. The language we use in the Pit is too tame for what I would like to say. Thank you so much for reminding me of this song. I’m going to go home now and drive red hot knitting needles up my nostrils and through my eardrums until the screaming in my cerebellum stops. ---
**Author:** ![Cemetery\_Savior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Cemetery\_Savior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cemetery_Savior)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/70 "2007-11-06T15:49:49Z")
[QUOTE=nd\_n8] “ **The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald** ” - Gordon Lightfoot [/QUOTE] Easy, now…Gordo can do no wrong. I’ll 83rd “_The Joker_”. Pretty much his whole catalog. Also, that “_Pina Colada Song_”. Aieeee! the aural burning! 95% of all \*\*Jimmy Buffet \*\* songs. Yes, I know, his concerts have booze. Whee. “_You Make Me Feel Like Dancing_” - **Leo Sayer**. 10,000 suns, 1920’s raygun, etc. “_Layla_” by Derek et al (really **The Satanic Clapton** ). Not only is it overplayed, not only is Clapton possibly the most overrated songster EVER…it got re-butchered by the Satan himself. I’m sure there are more. -Cem ---
**Author:** ![Cemetery\_Savior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Cemetery\_Savior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cemetery_Savior)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/71 "2007-11-06T15:53:31Z")
[QUOTE=McNew] Everything by Matthew Sweet. (And if you try to convince me his early stuff is great, I just won’t believe you.) [/QUOTE] Wow…just wow. I can’t find the thread now, but I stated \*\*Matthew Sweet \*\* as the person whose \*entire catalog \* I’d like to own. I have two of his CDs in my car as I type. I don’t think we’re going to have a play-date. -Cem ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/72 "2007-11-06T15:59:11Z")
Let me add “Wildfire” to the list. “Shimmy, shimmy, coco-pop” (although I loved it when I was 6) “Afternoon Delight” and “Muskrat Love” “CaryAnne” or some such–rock tune from the 90s or even late 80s (by Survivor?)–anyway, for years I thought it went: “carrion, on the road that I must travel…” It makes me crabby to listen to it. All rap. Yeah, I know. Apparently there’s good rap out there. I say, I don’t want to listen to some guy make bad poetry with no respect for the number of syllables needed in a line. I will not listen to it. It makes me stabby inside. “At Seventeen” This was a huge hit around the time I was 17. I thought it absolute drivel–especially the part about being last in choosing sides for basketball. Now I can see it as a the anguished cry that it was, but I still don’t want to listen to it. Anything by Motley Crue, Yes, ELP, Rush. \ The group Bread needs to be convicted of crimes against humanity. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/73 "2007-11-06T16:02:10Z")
A lot of great suggestions for audio extermination. Mine - ANY Christmas “Old Chestnuts” album by celebrities with no vocal talent. They are right there in the cut-out bin, so easy to move to the parking lot and burn for warmth in barrel this winter. ---
**Author:** ![nd\_n8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/439d5e/32.png) [@nd\_n8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nd_n8)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/74 "2007-11-06T16:21:21Z")
[QUOTE=Khadaji] 😃 I made the mistake of asking about the Plain White T’s on this board because I like the song. Instead of telling me about the group as I asked, everyone came in to tell me the song sucked. 😛 I am pretty apathetic about most of the songs in the this thread. Some I like, some not so much, but I don’t have strong feeling for most of them. However, I must echo: the Barking Dogs version of Jingle Bells. Horse With No Name And while we are at it, Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer! [/QUOTE] I’m not sure I’m familiar with the Plain White T’s “ **Hey Delilah** ” but it sounds suckerific, totally blandtastic. I want to clairify that the “ **Delilah** ” of my scorn is by Tom Jones: _At break of day when that man drove away, I was waiting I cross the street to her house and she opened the door She stood there laughing I felt the knife in my hand and she laughed no more My, my, my delilah Why, why, why delilah_ Now please excuse me while I poke my eyes out for merely looking at the lyrics. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/75 "2007-11-06T16:24:51Z")
Bobby Goldsboro. Any, every and all. _gags_ ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/76 "2007-11-06T16:27:56Z")
[Hey There, Delilah Haters](http://www.juvenilecomedy.com/delilah.htm) ---
**Author:** ![krisolov](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/krisolov/32/3724_2.png) [@krisolov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/krisolov)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/77 "2007-11-06T16:42:50Z")
let me just add **Color Your World** by Chicago. Pretty much anything by Chicago, actually. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/78 "2007-11-06T16:44:00Z")
[QUOTE=nd\_n8] I want to clairify that the “ **Delilah** ” of my scorn is by Tom Jones: _At break of day when that man drove away, I was waiting I cross the street to her house and she opened the door She stood there laughing I felt the knife in my hand and she laughed no more My, my, my delilah Why, why, why delilah_ Now please excuse me while I poke my eyes out for merely looking at the lyrics. [/QUOTE] I love that song! It’s just so…strange. The backing music is so festive and the song is so brutal. It’s like murder at a Mexican carnival or something. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/79 "2007-11-06T16:56:15Z")
The entire Smashmouth catalogue, which is like three songs anyway as far as I know. Sugar Sugar, by the Archies. All the over-used movie montage songs. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/80 "2007-11-06T17:01:12Z")
[QUOTE=kunilou] And the Barking Dogs version of _Jingle Bells_ ! [/QUOTE] Oh dear Lord yes. And while I have not actually heard such a thing, I can only assume that somebody out there has recorded a remix of this using yowling cats. If you have a link to this as a WAV, RealAudio or MP3 clip, please don’t hesitate for one moment to not post it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373.md?page=5)