# Songs that must not be played at all. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 6, 2007, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373 "2007-11-06T02:27:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/101 "2007-11-06T19:24:13Z")
Oh, I seem to have somehow forgotten “Kokomo” by the Untalented Remainders of the Beach Boys. I call for strategic airstrikes on Aruba, Jamaica, Key Largo, Montego and the Bahamas. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/102 "2007-11-06T19:41:34Z")
Will the airstrikes get there fast and then they’ll take it slow? 😃 Your Kiss is on My List by that duo. Die Die Die! ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/103 "2007-11-06T19:47:19Z")
Keep “Stairway to Heaven”, but “Freebird” can go. And dammit, I’ll give up Black Sabbath as soon as you can pry it from my cold, dead hands! Here’s my list: [ul] [li]Hearing Rod Stewart sing makes me want to gouge out my ears with an ice pick.[/li][li]Same goes for Bob Dylan. I know saying this will piss some people off in this thread, but someone already stepped on my toes when they mentioned Black Sabbath, so I figure anything is fair game in this thread.[/li][li]Anything that is in the rap section of the music store.[/li][li]Who Let the Dogs Out- My question is, “Who the hell let the guys who made this song out?”[/li][li]Guys who sing falsetto need to be shot on sight. This includes The Beach Boys and whoever sings “Walks Like a Man” [/li][/ul] > [@eleanorigby](#): > > “CaryAnne” or some such–rock tune from the 90s or even late 80s (by Survivor?)–anyway, for years I thought it went: “carrion, on the road that I must travel…” You’re thinking of [Kyrie - Mr. Mister](http://www.lyricsfreak.com/m/mr.+mister/kyrie_20230986.html). Not a gut-wrenchingly bad song, but not one I’m going to listen to by choice, either. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/104 "2007-11-06T19:48:54Z")
[QUOTE=Tahssa] I am highly unfond of Rihana’s “…my umbrella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella” [/QUOTE] I edited your post, **Tahssa** , because it was causing margin errors in Firefox. I just reduced the number of "ella"s to a more manageable number. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/105 "2007-11-06T19:51:52Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] Holy flying fuck, but do I hate that goddamn song. Also “In The Year 2525,” by Zager & Evans. [/QUOTE] I always kind of liked “In The Year 2525” if only for sentimental reasons, but 99% of the world seems to despise it. It reminds me of being a kid in my room building Mercury and Gemini capsules from plastic model kits, and it’d be on the radio. For some reason it has the same musical vibe as “One Is The Loneliest Number” which I also always liked. One thing I liked about pop songs like that, in those days, was that the British Invasion oriented influence of harder rock was permeating the whole scene. So where nowadays a pop act would likely be doing some clumsy hip-hop or R&B pastiche, in those days a pop band would at least try to rock, and I certainly did like that better. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/106 "2007-11-06T19:51:58Z")
[QUOTE=eleanorigby] I’ll take that over the excresence he recorded with Kiki Dee or whoever–god I hate that song. I have expunged the title from my memory. [/QUOTE] Oh, come on now, don’t go breaking my heart… ---
**Author:** ![Neidhart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Neidhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neidhart)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/107 "2007-11-06T19:54:48Z")
[QUOTE=jsc1953] and “say hey willie, and **tell the cow,** and Joe Dimaggio”. [/QUOTE] That’s _Ty Cobb._ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/108 "2007-11-06T20:27:23Z")
[QUOTE=beanpod] Also, that stupid smarmy disgusting charity-relief song: _Do They Know It’s Christmas?_ First of all, it was written over 20 years ago for a specific purpose. Who likes this? Why won’t it die? Why can’t musicians doing charity concerts maybe come up with a new song that doesn’t suck? It always sneaks onto the radio sometime during December when I’m coming off a happy _Jingle Bells_ high. SECOND, the lyrics contain these gems: “There won’t be snow in Africa this Christmas.” No shit? Really? A continent that is mostly desert in the northern half and has its southern half in the _southern hemisphere?_ and: “Tonight, thank God it’s THEM, insteeeeeeeeaaad of YOUUUU!” Wow. You really convinced me of your charitable motives there, bucko. Expresses such a lovely sentiment, too. I…that line just leaves me speechless. Not to mention the fact that the whole song ignores the non-Christian needy…but I need to save my ire for this song until December, when I’m sure to hear it again. grrr. [/QUOTE] [I’m right there with you on this one.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=8335536&postcount=53) ---
**Author:** ![Slypork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc29f/32.png) [@Slypork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slypork)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/109 "2007-11-06T20:27:45Z")
[QUOTE=SkipMagic] I edited your post, **Tahssa** , because it was causing margin errors in Firefox. I just reduced the number of "ella"s to a more manageable number. [/QUOTE] I actually thought that it made quite an effective representation of just how freaking annoying that song is. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/110 "2007-11-06T20:37:46Z")
[QUOTE=Neidhart] That’s _Ty Cobb._ 😃 [/QUOTE] Hmmmmm. Here I thought it was “Dick Howe” (whoever \*that \* might be). Thank you, **Neidhart**. ---
**Author:** ![divemaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/divemaster/32/78_2.png) [@divemaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/divemaster)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/111 "2007-11-06T21:34:12Z")
I like some of the songs mentioned here. But ditto on the Steve Miller. All of it. Ugh. **Band on the Run** , someone mentioned? Terrible song! I like the Rolling Stones, but \*\*Miss You \*\* causes me to reach for the dial. I like Elton John, but \*\*Benny and the Jets \*\* is just a horrible horrible aural experience. I used to listen almost exclusively to country radio and when \*\*Islands in the Stream \*\* come out they must have played it 100 times a day. Once a year is too much for that piece of crap. And no one can convince me that it is an actual country song. ---
**Author:** ![SaharaTea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SaharaTea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaharaTea)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/112 "2007-11-06T21:44:53Z")
John Mayer’s “Your Body Is a Wonderland.” Barf. “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” by Deep Blue Something. To this day, no one knows what that song is about. “All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You” by Heart. Just…no. Just about everything by Shania Twain. ---
**Author:** ![Wilson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@Wilson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wilson)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/113 "2007-11-06T21:54:53Z")
Well, I guess my sometimes idea to change my user name to **Love Your Peaches** won’t win me many friends around here… I’ll submit **Sister Christian** by Night Ranger and **Here I Go Again** by Whitesnake. These two songs almost drove me away from rock completely. And almost all of Boston’s output, particularly the excreable **More Than A Feeling**. ---
**Author:** ![Ins\_Outs\_What-have-yous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8797f3/32.png) [@Ins\_Outs\_What-have-yous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ins_Outs_What-have-yous)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/114 "2007-11-06T21:56:44Z")
What the f\*\*\*? There was no mention of [The Shaggs](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggs) in the first 113 posts of this thread? The only reason their music has any notariety is because it is stunningly awful. None of their songs should be played especially ‘My Pal Foot-Foot.’ From the above Wiki link: > [@](#): > > On the topic of the [Philosophy of the World]album, Cub Koda wrote, “There’s an innocence to these songs and their performances that’s both charming and unsettling. Hacked-at drumbeats, whacked-around chords, songs that seem to have little or no meter to them … being played on out-of-tune, pawn-shop-quality guitars all converge, creating dissonance and beauty, chaos and tranquility, causing any listener coming to this music to rearrange any pre-existing notions about the relationships between talent, originality, and ability. There is no album you might own that sounds remotely like this one.” (emphasis in original) [1] Reportedly, during the recording sessions the band would occasionally stop playing, claiming one of them had made a mistake and that they needed to start over, leaving the sound engineers to wonder how the girls could tell when a mistake had been made. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/115 "2007-11-06T22:00:55Z")
[QUOTE=SkipMagic] I edited your post, **Tahssa** , because it was causing margin errors in Firefox. I just reduced the number of "ella"s to a more manageable number. [/QUOTE] I apologize to the thread I did not realize my post it would mess up the margins. My bad. Well now I know and knowing is half the knowing. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/116 "2007-11-06T22:09:16Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] Oh, come on now, don’t go breaking my heart… [/QUOTE] \ How about Mellow Yello? Never did like that song. Add Black Sabbath AND Bob Dylan to the list. Really, anything by Wings. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/117 "2007-11-06T22:28:12Z")
> [@SkipMagic](#): > > Mod Note: > [Quote=Tahssa] > > I am highly unfond of Rihana’s > > “…my umbrella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella” I edited your post, Tahssa, because it was causing margin errors in Firefox. I just reduced the number of "ella"s to a more manageable number. [/quote] And here I thought it was because too many of the lyrics had been quoted. You know what’s awesome for me, **eleanorigby**? I don’t even know what Elton song you’re talking about, and I hope I never, ever find out. Ever. ---
**Author:** ![Mayo\_Speaks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mayo\_Speaks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mayo_Speaks)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/118 "2007-11-06T22:32:19Z")
[QUOTE=Cluricaun] \ every single song by Bruce Springsteen. [/QUOTE] I’m afraid that we can no longer be friends. My nomination: “Eight six seven five three oh naii-eee-ine Eight six seven five three oh naii-eee-ine Eight six seven five three oh naii-eee-ine Eight six seven five three oh naii-eee-ine” ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2007, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/119 "2007-11-07T00:27:43Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] The crazy thing is, Fergie then released her solo album and dropped two straight singles that were _dumber_ than “My Humps.” I speak, of course, of “Fergilicious” and “Glamorous.” :mad: [/QUOTE] Don’t forget “Big Girls Don’t Cry” which just makes me want to kick her as hard as I can to make her cry. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2007, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/120 "2007-11-07T01:07:05Z")
[QUOTE=divemaster] I like the Rolling Stones, but \*\*Miss You \*\* causes me to reach for the dial. I like Elton John, but \*\*Benny and the Jets \*\* is just a horrible horrible aural experience. [/QUOTE] Hey, I like both of those songs quite a bit. Especially because when I was a kid I thought the lyrics to BatJ included “she’s got electric boobs, and a mohair suit, you know I read it in a magazine”. I also didn’t know what “mohair” was, and pictured a suit made of hair like some crazy medieval hermits used to wear. (I guess it says something about me that at ten years old, I didn’t know what “mohair” was, but knew about the behaviors of various flavors of medieval hermits.) And c’mon, you gotta admit that Sir Elton has a LOT more stuff higher on the reject list… I would say that _Goodbye Yellow Brick Road_ is pretty much awesome from beginning to end. On the other hand, _Philadelphia Freedom_ has really no redeeming value to me, and the less said about his cover of **The Who** ’s song _Pinball Wizard_, the better. As for _Miss You_, I often have a snippet of it playing in my head when I walk in Central Park after dark (a much different activity to attempt now than 30 years ago): _I been walking in Central Park, singing after dark, people think I’m… crazy…_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373.md?page=7)