# Songs that must not be played at all. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 6, 2007, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373 "2007-11-06T02:27:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2007, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/121 "2007-11-07T03:26:52Z")
[QUOTE=Beadalin] You know what’s awesome for me, **eleanorigby**? I don’t even know what Elton song you’re talking about, and I hope I never, ever find out. Ever. [/QUOTE] I can’t possibly let that state of affairs continue, now can I? The time is 1976. Kicki Dee was a washed up old hasbeen (a never been heard of on this side of the Pond) and here came Elton (not yet Sir) with this song, “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” Here is one small portion: (EJ): Don’t go breaking my heart (KD):You take the weight off me (EJ):Honey when you knocked on my door (KD):I gave you my key I may have the order incorrect. Does it really matter? Unfortunately, it turns into an earworm with little difficulty. Like in my head now. \ Oh, how could we forget Barely Manenough? I mean, Barry Manilow… ---
**Author:** ![WarmNPrickly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@WarmNPrickly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WarmNPrickly)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2007, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/122 "2007-11-07T03:33:40Z")
I couldn’t bear to read the entire thread but … We are the World? ---
**Author:** ![Ferd\_Burfel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecccb3/32.png) [@Ferd\_Burfel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferd_Burfel)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2007, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/123 "2007-11-07T04:00:47Z")
Michael Murphy’s abomination… **Wildfire** \*Oh, they say she died one winter When there came a killing frost And the pony she named Wildfire Busted down his stall In a blizzard he was lost She ran calling Wildfire\* And…I don’t care if it is the official state Rock-n-Roll song for Ohio, nobody should be expected to listen to **Hang On Sloopy**. _sloopy lives in a very bad part of town, and everybody here trys to put my sloopy down_ ---
**Author:** ![Priam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/77aa72/32.png) [@Priam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Priam)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2007, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/124 "2007-11-07T04:27:56Z")
The hell? Three pages and no one mentioned Lou Christie’s “Lightning Striking Again”? \*Every boy wants a girl He can trust to the very end Baby that’s you Won’t you wait? But til then… \* With the rest being a begging excuse for him being a manwhore while she’s expected to remain this virginal, trusting figure. Die, Lou Christie. Die. ---
**Author:** ![nd\_n8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/439d5e/32.png) [@nd\_n8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nd_n8)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2007, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/125 "2007-11-07T12:26:21Z")
[QUOTE=SkipMagic] I edited your post, **Tahssa** , because it was causing margin errors in Firefox. I just reduced the number of "ella"s to a more manageable number. [/QUOTE] Can you do that to the original song ? ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2007, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/126 "2007-11-07T14:30:41Z")
[QUOTE=SaharaTea] John Mayer’s “Your Body Is a Wonderland.” Barf. [/QUOTE] Oh God… “Your bubblegum tongue”??? :eek: Actual, literal, barf happening here. Come to think of it, can we just agree that John Mayer’s entire oeuvre sucks? I can’t think of a song of his that doesn’t annoy the crap out of me. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2007, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/127 "2007-11-07T14:32:51Z")
[QUOTE=DianaG] Oh God… “Your bubblegum tongue”??? :eek: [/QUOTE] Yipes. Isn’t it “bubblegum toes”? Not that it’s much better that way. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2007, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/128 "2007-11-07T14:41:30Z")
[QUOTE=DianaG] Oh God… “Your bubblegum tongue”??? :eek: Actual, literal, barf happening here. Come to think of it, can we just agree that John Mayer’s entire oeuvre sucks? I can’t think of a song of his that doesn’t annoy the crap out of me. [/QUOTE] You do that and you’ll hafta chuck all of Paul Simon and all the 70s whitesoul artists too, who I cannot tell apart from John Mayer. Although I don’t like _Wonderland_, either. John Mayer is one of the few artists I can hear on Muzak and not think it horribly inappropriate nor totally lame. (Oddly enough, Elvis Costello gets play in Muzak a lot and the fact that it’s usually Alison rather than anything from _Brutal Youth_ is a sure sign that despite trying to update their repertiore the content providers simply don’t get it.) ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2007, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/129 "2007-11-07T15:07:07Z")
Oh og, more ear cancer, thought I was in remission! Beach Boys - ba ba ba, ba ba bra ann for several minutes Sloop John B. Neil Young singing - ear muffs please Louie, louie ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2007, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/130 "2007-11-07T15:20:47Z")
[QUOTE=Ludovic] You do that and you’ll hafta chuck all of Paul Simon and all the 70s whitesoul artists too, who I cannot tell apart from John Mayer. Although I don’t like _Wonderland_, either. [/QUOTE] I like a couple of his songs. “Gravity” and “Dreaming with a Broken Heart” are the only ones I can think of. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2007, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/131 "2007-11-07T15:21:05Z")
[QUOTE=divemaster] \ I used to listen almost exclusively to country radio and when \*\*Islands in the Stream \*\* come out they must have played it 100 times a day. Once a year is too much for that piece of crap. And no one can convince me that it is an actual country song. [/QUOTE] You’re not wrong there at all. It was written by the Bee Gees and they often performed it live themselves. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2007, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/132 "2007-11-07T15:25:45Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug] _Seasons in the Sun_. I’m planning to start a foundation to buy every remaining copy of this record and drop 'em all down a radioactive mineshaft. [/QUOTE] I am intrigued by your suggestions, and wish to subscribe to your newsletter. On the other hand, all you folks trashing Steve Perry/Journey better watch out. I’ll start a foundation to buy all the radio stations and have All Journey, All the Time! ---
**Author:** ![kelly5078](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@kelly5078](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelly5078)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2007, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/133 "2007-11-07T15:49:39Z")
IMO: “Centerfield” is a pretty good song. It’s not “Green River,” but it’s not bad. I like a lot of Bob Seger, especially “Night Moves,” “Fire Lake,” and “Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Man.” “Stairway to Heaven” is one of the greatest rock songs ever. So is “Layla,” except for the last part. I like “Dirty Deeds” by AC/DC. In fact, I like a lot of the Bon Scott songs. The Guess Who is kinda limp, but “No Time” is pretty good. America generally sucks, but I do like “Sister Goldenhair.” I can’t rule on the song’s quality, but many good memories surround “Band on the Run.” Neil Diamond’s no great shakes as a singer, but I do like “Brother Love’s Traveling Salvation Show.” Rod Stewart’s first few solo albums were superb. Trashing Dylan and Neil Young is just nuts. Yeah, okay, they don’t have great voices. I still don’t want to hear anyone else sing “Desolation Row” or “Down by the River.” “Philadelphia Freedom” is one of Elton John’s best songs. And, yes, I like “Free Bird.” So, although the illegalization of Terry Jacks and Bobby Goldsboro (whom no one plays anymore anyway), and a lot of the other recommendations here, might be a good thing, if they were all followed, my life would be a lot poorer for it. ---
**Author:** ![dcp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f475e1/32.png) [@dcp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dcp)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2007, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/134 "2007-11-07T15:50:25Z")
Come on guys, all this talk of Steve Miller’s _Joker_ and no one has yet mentioned his classic _“Abracadabra”_. _Abra-abra-cadabra I want to reach out and grab ya_ Gawd, shot me now. ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2007, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/135 "2007-11-07T16:32:44Z")
[QUOTE=Priam] The hell? Three pages and no one mentioned Lou Christie’s “Lightning Striking Again”? \*Every boy wants a girl He can trust to the very end Baby that’s you Won’t you wait? But til then… \* With the rest being a begging excuse for him being a manwhore while she’s expected to remain this virginal, trusting figure. Die, Lou Christie. Die. [/QUOTE] Can we keep the [Klaus Nomi version](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3Tte08ieTg)? I can’t explain why I love it. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2007, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/136 "2007-11-07T16:36:16Z")
Do I win the thread if I sing this? _Put your hand in the hand of the man Who stilled the water. Put your hand in the hand of the man Who calmed the sea. Take a look at yourself and you can look at others differently, By putting your hand in the hand of the man from Galilee!_ ---
**Author:** ![Priam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/77aa72/32.png) [@Priam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Priam)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2007, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/137 "2007-11-07T16:37:40Z")
[QUOTE=LilyoftheValley] Can we keep the [Klaus Nomi version](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3Tte08ieTg)? I can’t explain why I love it. [/QUOTE] Anyone who sounds like Dieter from SNL can stay. “Now is zee time on Sprockets ven ve DANCE!” ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2007, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/138 "2007-11-07T16:51:26Z")
I pretty much enjoy listening to nearly every single song named so far, in much the same way one enjoys pulling scabs off. Needless to say, my wife hates long car trips with me. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2007, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/139 "2007-11-07T17:19:37Z")
[QUOTE=pravnik] Needless to say, my wife hates long car trips with me. [/QUOTE] Long car trips don’t count. If you’re depending on the radio you have to settle for what comes in while hitting the scan button. This is how my college roomie and I made it from Portland Oregon to Madison Wisconsin and managed to develop a begrudging appreciation for “Living La Vida Loca” as it was at the time, being broadcast by every radio station on Earth every 30 minutes. We also didn’t sleep for 36 hours, but that happens. Edited to add: same for the song “Smooth” by Santana and the dude from Matchbox 20. That’s what was playing the rest of those 30 minute intervals. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2007, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373/140 "2007-11-07T17:29:53Z")
Ann Wilson’s cover version of Immigrant Song. My God I cannot even begin to describe just how awful this is. I mean really. It’s indescribable - it just sucks on every level there is. No, I take that back - that would be a compliment to the awful that this song is. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-must-not-be-played-at-all/425373.md?page=8)