# Songs that need to go away . . . **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 19, 2000, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-need-to-go-away/12973 "2000-01-19T08:38:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-need-to-go-away/12973/1 "2000-01-19T08:38:00Z")
or even better : “Songs that should be used for skeet practice and then sent to burn in the 7th layer of hell before being run-over put in a blender and never ever played on any radio station again EVER” for example, Chumbawumba “Tubthumper” (Pull!!) Beth Hart “LA Song” oh come on my dog could have written this rubbish “she cried and she cried and she cried and she cried” did she cry Beth ? Did she ?? “he lied like a salesman selling flies” Gotta watch out for those damned fly salesmen eh Beth ? Lou Bega “Mambo #5” can anyone say “one hit wonder” ? TLC “No Scrubs” no, i cannot afford to fly you to the “Kosovo seas and back”, I suppose I am a scrub, fine - go burn someone elses house down Aerosmith “Don’t Want To Miss a Thing” but please oh please let me miss this damned song, btw where did Steven Tylers balls go ? any other suggestions ? ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-need-to-go-away/12973/2 "2000-01-19T08:52:00Z")
I nominate 99.8% of all songs played on FM radio. Extra credit for any song that has been played once every 2 hours on every station for 3 years and still not retired. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_Bowe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/df788c/32.png) [@Doug\_Bowe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_Bowe)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-need-to-go-away/12973/3 "2000-01-19T09:03:00Z")
The Night Chicago Died ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-need-to-go-away/12973/4 "2000-01-19T09:07:00Z")
Puff, I sense some real bitterness on your part concerning radio, perhaps you should just turn the radio off and play tapes or cds . . . ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-need-to-go-away/12973/5 "2000-01-19T11:44:00Z")
Yeah I’m bitter. My car CD player is broken and CD’s are too damn expensive anyway. What is the logic behind a CD costing more than a cassette? A CD costs a half a penny to stamp. God knows how much it costs to put a cassette tape together. The recording industry’s reason for the price discrepancy? Well, CD technology cost a lot to develop. CD’S WERE INVENTED IN 1978!! I THINK THE TECHNOLOGY IS PAID FOR!!! Not only that, but when it comes time to choose a CD, what do I pick? The only stuff I know is burnt-out radio crap that I’ve heard a million times and certainly don’t want to pay for. That leaves vast, untold caches of non-popular music, 99% of which is crap, and I’m here trying to wade through 10,000 albums wondering which one I might like. Plus, hey, radio is my only entertainment at work for 8-10 hours a night. I’d like it to be good entertainment. It’s not. For these reasons and many more … yes, I am bitter. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-need-to-go-away/12973/6 "2000-01-19T12:06:00Z")
re: Lou Bega… if you think 1,2,3,4,5 is bad wait till you hear his followup single “I got a girlfriend everywhere” that is currently being inflicted on us music patrons here on this side of the Atlantic. oh, and my choice: Macerena * * * John Larrigan “82.35% of all statistics are made up on the spot”–Vic Reeves ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-need-to-go-away/12973/7 "2000-01-19T12:55:00Z")
In Australia there is a band called Human Nature that are unfeasibly popular. They have a song, I think it’s called ‘I want to live,’ and it has the DUMBEST lyrics! “Animals and children tell the truth, they never lie. Which one is more human, there’s a thought now, you decide. I want to live, like cannonballs, careless and free, like cannonballs.” I kid you not. * * * **-PIGEONMAN-** Returns! [The Legend Of PigeonMan](http://www.hotkey.net.au/~guanolad/pigeonman/) - **By Popular Demand!** Enjoy, enjoy! ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-need-to-go-away/12973/8 "2000-01-19T12:57:00Z")
La Vida Loca. Cha-chink. “Pull!” ::BLAM!:: Shooting Ricky Martin is another option, but then there would be the inevitable retrospective. * * * You are now leaving a “Smiley-free zone”! A public service message brought to you by G.R.O.S.S. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-need-to-go-away/12973/9 "2000-01-19T13:35:00Z")
Guanoland - That whole “I want to live like animals” song was released a couple years back in the US by a band called Savage Garden. They’re an Australian band, no less. So either Savage Garden is recording under a different name in Australia, or at least two bands have released that song. As for Lou Bega- I must be the only adult on this board who likes his music. What can I say? It’s got a whole Caribbean/40’s/Dance Club thing going on. It’s fun! Now, for my nomination: Gotta go with “Don’t Speak,” by No Doubt. That song was released in 1996 and I swear I still hear it 4 or 5 times a week. Blech! ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-need-to-go-away/12973/10 "2000-01-19T13:37:00Z")
Backstreet Boys’ arsenal of mind-numbing “songs” have to go. Of course, we’d have to get rid of teenagers, too. * * * Some drink at the fountain of knowledge…others just gargle. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-need-to-go-away/12973/11 "2000-01-19T14:00:00Z")
'Course you’d need a tommy gun to knock down the Backstreet Boys. ::singing to self: “They get knocked down, but they get up again, There’s nothing gonna keep them down. They get knocked down, but they get up again, There’s nothing gonna keep them down.”:: * * * You are now leaving a “Smiley-free zone”! A public service message brought to you by G.R.O.S.S. ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-need-to-go-away/12973/12 "2000-01-19T15:18:00Z")
Dave Barry did a book on this very topic a few years ago - something like “The Bad Song Book” or “Dave Barrys Book of Bad Songs”. It is a scream, I highly recommend it. And my nomination for the song that should, in a just universe, be grounds for shooting the writers is: ``` Don't You Want Me Baby ``` No. I don’t want you. Go away. I agree with you, though, rastahomie, I like Mambo #5 ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-need-to-go-away/12973/13 "2000-01-19T15:21:00Z")
" I was working as a cocktail in a waitress bar… " Who would want to miss THAT ? Seriously, the song that must vanish from this earth forever is: “All I want for Christmas is you” by Mariah Carey. ## _shudder_ Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-need-to-go-away/12973/14 "2000-01-19T15:46:00Z")
What’s the current song that has the line “Every morning there’s a halo hangin’ on the corner of my girlfriend’s 4-post bed”? WRQX (DC) plays this song entirely too much. For one two-month period, it was played at 8:15 every @!#?@! morning. I’d hear it on the way to work, look at my clock, and it’d be 8:15, give or take a minute. * * * I looked in the mirror today/My eyes just didn’t seem so bright I’ve lost a few more hairs/I think I’m going bald - Rush ---
**Author:** ![SaxFace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SaxFace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaxFace)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-need-to-go-away/12973/15 "2000-01-19T16:04:00Z")
I can handle all of the songs listed above. The song that drives me to excessive violence is “American Pie”. I heard that Madonna is going to be covering this song. That means I’m not going to turn on the radio for 4 months. * * * Formerly unknown as “Melanie” ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-need-to-go-away/12973/16 "2000-01-19T16:21:00Z")
AWB Sugar Ray My vote goes for any song where you can’t understand the lyrics… Except for Louie Louie of course. * * * The most Invisible poster in the history of the boards. Posting invisibly since sept 1999. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-need-to-go-away/12973/17 "2000-01-19T16:48:00Z")
OK Puff (you still here ?) I offer the foolowing challenge to you : I will give you, in this mind game, your own station, in return the MB shall be FCC, sales staff, and audience. You have so many gripes, I want to see you do better. I call upon no other than the mighty Satan as a mediator (someone tell him). It starts like this : As FCC I congratulate you, you have recieved an official frequency and call letters. You are : WPUF at: 100.5 now then what do you call yourself ? what do you play ? ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-need-to-go-away/12973/18 "2000-01-19T16:49:00Z")
dammit thats “following challenge” , don’t need no crap for typing errors - thanks, love ya ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-need-to-go-away/12973/19 "2000-01-19T17:28:00Z")
I agree with the OP- Mambo #5 has got to go. I disagree with the OP- I like Tubthumping. I agree with AWB- that Sugar Ray song causes violent abdominal convulsions. My own nomination: I don’t know the artist or the title, but this song got frequent spins on Modern Rock Radio a few months back, and was all the impetus I needed to stop listening to the radio entirely. It’s the one where he sings: “If I could have another chance, I’d put it in a Ziploc bag, and keep it in my pocket, keep it in my pocket, KEEP IT IN MY POCKET!” Shut up already, goddammit! I wish your father had kept it in HIS pocket! I didn’t list anything by The Backstreet Boys, N’Sync, Britney Spears, or the rest of that lot, because I don’t believe they actually exist except in my own mind, and therefore are not inconsistent with my belief that the world is an essentially good place. * * * An infinite number of rednecks in an infinite number of pickup trucks shooting an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs will eventually produce all the world’s great works of literature in Braille. ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-need-to-go-away/12973/20 "2000-01-19T17:45:00Z")
Doesn’t really need to go away but, Squeeze’s “Pulling Mussels from a Shell”, WTF??? What is up with that? Is there some hidden meaning I’m missing? How the hell could you write a song about mussels? I like Squeeze, it just boggles me. * * * If your head is wax, don’t walk in the sun. -Benjamin Franklin [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-need-to-go-away/12973.md?page=2)