# Songs that now require a technological upgrade **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 11, 2012, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-now-require-a-technological-upgrade/627860 "2012-07-11T02:22:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-now-require-a-technological-upgrade/627860/21 "2012-07-11T13:55:34Z")
Please Mister ISP Provider, look and see (Oh yeah) If there’s an email in your spam filter for me (Please, Please Mister ISP Provider) Why’s it takin’ such a long time (Oh yeah) For me to hear from that boy of mine ---
**Author:** ![LaurenIpsum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@LaurenIpsum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LaurenIpsum)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-now-require-a-technological-upgrade/627860/22 "2012-07-11T13:58:27Z")
The Turtles, “Happy Together” If I should call you up, invest some minutes And you say you belong to me, my heart you’re in it ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-now-require-a-technological-upgrade/627860/23 "2012-07-11T14:00:34Z")
The entire song _Western Union_ by The Five Americans would have to be completely re-imagined and rewritten from scratch. It’s probably easier just to toss it: > **[Western Union - The Five Americans](http://www.songlyrics.com/the-five-americans/western-union-lyrics/)** > > The Five Americans - Western Union Lyrics. Things went wrong today Bad news came my way I woke up to find A wire had blew my mind Western Union man Bad news in his hand Knocking at m [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/fJMwxucTJyo/hqdefault.jpg "The Five Americans - Western Union") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJMwxucTJyo) ---
**Author:** ![LaurenIpsum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@LaurenIpsum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LaurenIpsum)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-now-require-a-technological-upgrade/627860/24 "2012-07-11T14:03:31Z")
Paul Simon, “Kodachrome” Instagram You give us those nice bright colors You give us the greens of summers Makes you think all the world’s a sunny day, oh yeah! I got an iPhone camera I love to take a photograph So Mama, don’t take my Instagram away ---
**Author:** ![PacifistPorcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@PacifistPorcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PacifistPorcupine)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-now-require-a-technological-upgrade/627860/25 "2012-07-11T14:10:28Z")
What would you do if I sang without Auto-Tune… ---
**Author:** ![Bakhesh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Bakhesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bakhesh)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-now-require-a-technological-upgrade/627860/26 "2012-07-11T15:48:11Z")
“Pictures of Lily” by the Who would now be a song about googling with safe search turned off ---
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-now-require-a-technological-upgrade/627860/27 "2012-07-11T16:08:05Z")
In what I hope was deliberate irony, Maroon 5 have a new hit song called “Payphone”. My 12 year old son hears it and asks me,what kind of a loser uses a payphone, even homeless people seem to have cell phones. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-now-require-a-technological-upgrade/627860/28 "2012-07-11T16:35:12Z")
While riding in my Cadillac What to my surprise A little Smart Car was following me About one third my size ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-now-require-a-technological-upgrade/627860/29 "2012-07-11T18:06:58Z")
TEXT ME! (text me) on the line Text me, text me any, any time ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-now-require-a-technological-upgrade/627860/30 "2012-07-11T18:18:19Z")
I got elastic bands keepin’ my shoes on. Got those swollen hand blues. Got \*\*\*thirteen hundred channels of shit plus Netflix streaming and my PS3 \*\*\*on the T.V. to choose from. Pink Floyd - Nobody’s Home ---
**Author:** ![Ashley\_Pomeroy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c68b51/32.png) [@Ashley\_Pomeroy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashley_Pomeroy)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-now-require-a-technological-upgrade/627860/31 "2012-07-11T18:56:08Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > TEXT ME! (text me) on the line > Text me, text me any, any time “Oh, your hair is beautiful Oh, tonight - RENEWABLES!” “Here in my car I have mobile broadband I can stream video It keeps me stable for days in cars” “Don’t say you’re easy on me you’re about as easy as a long, drawn-out fight against a committed insurgency” You could do a whole series on **Kraftwerk** : “I program my Raspberry Pi beam myself into the early 1980s” "Everything, and everything; everything, and everything Everything, and everything; everything, and everything everything - everything - everything - everything Computer World" "I’m an ordinary person with my tablet doing everything with it I am surfing and chatting not creating just consuming By pressing down on the oh shit no you have to no, you swipe like that yes, there’s iTunes" “Radio-activity it’s in the air for you and me as long as you have a cheap data contract” ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-now-require-a-technological-upgrade/627860/32 "2012-07-11T19:03:34Z")
\*Spiderwebs \*from _No Doubt_ was obviously written before common cell phone ownership. Also, who still has a stand-alone answering machine? ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-now-require-a-technological-upgrade/627860/33 "2012-07-11T19:11:51Z")
[del]\*I gave a letter to the postman, he put it his sack. Bright in early next morning, he brought my letter back. So then I dropped it in the mailbox And sent it special D. Bright in early next morning it came right back to me. She wrote upon it: Return to sender, address unknown. No such number, no such zone. \*[/del] She blocked me. ---
**Author:** ![Motorgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e36b37/32.png) [@Motorgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Motorgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-now-require-a-technological-upgrade/627860/34 "2012-07-11T19:14:51Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > iPods don’t spin. Except for the iPod Classic, and nobody but me owns one of those. Because I [del]need 80 Gb of music[/del] wish I bought a bigger one. Ooo, I’ve got one. I still use it, but the battery no longer holds a charge so it is permanently plugged into the wall. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-now-require-a-technological-upgrade/627860/35 "2012-07-11T19:34:52Z")
As I write this post Send my love to you Remember that I’ll always Be in love with you Treasure these few words 'till we’re together Keep all my love forever ETA: I love you ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-now-require-a-technological-upgrade/627860/36 "2012-07-11T20:16:16Z")
_Over the river and through the woods To grandmother’s house we go Tomtom knows the way to drive the Hyundai through white and drifted snow…_ ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-now-require-a-technological-upgrade/627860/37 "2012-07-12T04:44:35Z")
I’d love to see an update of We didn’t start the fire. And everytime I hear Give me Hope Joanna I wonder how long it will be before people don’t understand the references. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-now-require-a-technological-upgrade/627860/38 "2012-07-12T13:01:31Z")
So start a new text, Siri, e-mail it to my wife Say I won’t be coming home, gonna start a new life. File that letter, Siri, in the sub-directory of my wife CC it to my lawyer, gonna start a new life. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-now-require-a-technological-upgrade/627860/39 "2012-07-12T13:12:14Z")
> [@BwanaBob](#): > > My 12 year old son hears it and asks me,what kind of a loser uses a payphone, even homeless people seem to have cell phones. One whose cellphone isn’t getting no reception, at 3am in a strange city… ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-now-require-a-technological-upgrade/627860/40 "2012-07-12T13:33:44Z")
\*I love her I need her I charge her Yeah, she turns me on All right, Insight You’re my hybrid car\* [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-now-require-a-technological-upgrade/627860.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-now-require-a-technological-upgrade/627860.md?page=3)