# Songs that totally did not happen **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** music\ **Created:** [August 10, 2022, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417 "2022-08-10T06:36:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2022, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/21 "2022-08-10T13:39:27Z")
You all make me wonder if Major Tom was actually sitting in a tin can or whether that was just more Fake News. ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2022, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/22 "2022-08-10T13:40:54Z")
“Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer…” Although that’s like shooting fish in a barrel. So, for something nonmythological, I’ve always had strong doubts about “Norwegian Wood”. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2022, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/23 "2022-08-10T13:46:05Z")
Yeah I suspect it isn’t good. ---
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2022, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/24 "2022-08-10T13:48:36Z")
I do recall now a case of “not listening to the words closely enough” involving “Cecelia.” I would have been (checks release date of single on Wikipedia) in the seventh grade when it came out. There was a girl in my class named Cecelia, and she and her circle of friends thought it was way cool that her favorite singer had written a song about Cecelia. He was in love with her, and she was _breaking his heart_! So I file that one into the same category with “Born in the USA” and “The One I Love.” ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2022, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/25 "2022-08-10T13:53:58Z")
Well, they wouldn’t send you to Folsom Prison for shooting a man in Reno, NV, and even if they did you would never hear a whistle from a Texan train. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2022, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/26 "2022-08-10T14:00:30Z")
It is highly unlikely that the lead singer of The Rainmakers ever floated down the Mississippi in a raft or boat with fellow passengers Mark Twain, Harry Truman and Chuck Berry. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2022, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/27 "2022-08-10T14:07:49Z")
Lotta [Thermians](https://galaxyquest.fandom.com/wiki/Thermian) posting in this thread, it seems. Mummmmmmmmmmm . . . I saw a red door get painted black once, so I guess anything can happen. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2022, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/28 "2022-08-10T14:12:21Z")
> [@Sam\_Stone](#): > > It’s far worse than that. She’s shaking his confidence **daily**. This happens to him _every day_. > > You would think he’d learn. At some point, a man has to embrace his kinks. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2022, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/29 "2022-08-10T14:27:41Z")
Nancy Sinatra is treated like shit by some dude who cheats, lies, gambles. (You’ve been a’messin’ where you shouldn’t ‘ve been a’messin’, Now someone else is getting all your best, You keep lyin’, you keep losing when you oughta not bet, You keep playin’ where you shouldn’t be playin’) But after taking all that, she is going to kick his ass? (One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you) Or maybe she means leave him, walk away? ---
**Author:** ![2\_More\_Bits](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2_more_bits/32/4148_2.png) [@2\_More\_Bits](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2_More_Bits)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2022, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/30 "2022-08-10T14:40:33Z")
I don’t believe that Question Mark, with or without the Mysterians help, would be able to accurately count his ex’s tears. ---
**Author:** ![Kropotkin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kropotkin/32/18045_2.png) [@Kropotkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kropotkin)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2022, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/31 "2022-08-10T14:45:41Z")
I have no idea if in fact the bird is the word. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2022, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/32 "2022-08-10T14:47:55Z")
And surely, not everyone was Kung Fu fighting. ---
**Author:** ![Pleonast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pleonast/32/1183_2.png) [@Pleonast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pleonast)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2022, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/33 "2022-08-10T14:50:47Z")
Are British werewolves _actually_ impeccably groomed and tailored? ---
**Author:** ![2\_More\_Bits](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2_more_bits/32/4148_2.png) [@2\_More\_Bits](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2_More_Bits)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2022, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/34 "2022-08-10T14:55:50Z")
I know I wasn’t! ---
**Author:** ![2\_More\_Bits](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2_more_bits/32/4148_2.png) [@2\_More\_Bits](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2_More_Bits)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2022, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/35 "2022-08-10T15:00:36Z")
After all these years I still can’t identify a woman’s man by the way he uses his walk! ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2022, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/36 "2022-08-10T15:10:18Z")
I’ve been in a whole bunch of windy situations, but I’ve never ever heard it cry Mary. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2022, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/37 "2022-08-10T15:25:51Z")
Do you think John the bartender really got the Piano Man free drinks? I actually do. ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2022, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/38 "2022-08-10T15:42:14Z")
> [@solost](#): > > _ **Hotel California - The Eagles** _ > **Th** ere’s no actual hotel of this name where crazy things happen and you can never leave. It’ s a metaphor for the dangers of fame and the excessive SoCal lifestyle of the 70s. > > _ **Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin** _ > **Th** ere’s no actual stairway to Heaven, no matter how much glittery gold you have to buy one. It’s a metaphor for…well, I’d have to listen to the song again, and that’s not gonna happen soon. I have no problem with the factual events described in either of these songs. A hotel that smells of weed and has resident who owns a Mercedes Benz and hangs out with a group of attractive young men. Seems plausible. That the members of led Zeppelin know a girl who buys drugs frequently, sometimes late at night after the stores have closed. This does not require willing suspension of disbelief. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2022, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/39 "2022-08-10T15:42:28Z")
Well… Rubin Hurricane Carter had a long song sung about how he was framed for murder. Almost every “fact” in that song is wrong. He was wrongfully convicted, legally, but I doubt he was innocent. OTOH, Wolf Creek Pass is a long long way from Pagosa Springs, and even if you are driving a runaway 1949 Peterbilt, there’s miles of straight flat road to stop on before you hit the feed store in town. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2022, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417/40 "2022-08-10T15:52:33Z")
Weird Al Yankovich probably wasn’t the sole survivor of an airliner crash on the way to Albuquerque. OTOH, it’s entirely plausible that he hates sauerkraut. Which I would be fine with. More for me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/songs-that-totally-did-not-happen/969417.md?page=3)